I'm Me, Still Me

By Julie Gaughan Spink, a breast cancer survivor

Written for a friend who is struggling after treatment for breast cancer

 I'm me, still me

So why do I feel this way?

I want to be like I was before

When I could laugh and sing and play

Having one boob makes me feel a freak

But that feeling changes week on week

I'm me, still me

Deep inside, behind the mask

Like a volcano ready to erupt

Where nobody thinks to even ask

How are you really feeling? Not just today

Let it all out - it's time to play!

I'm me, still me

Worrying myself sick about how I look

Why's that you ask?

I don't actually know

I want to be ME - me the Mam, lover and cook

Confidence is everything, but where did it go?

Along with my boob I think - goodness only knows

I need help to stop this fight

It's with me all day long

All day and night

Feeling sorry for myself and crying non-stop

Isn't what I expected when I had the op

I expected it to be hard

But now I feel like a lump of lard

I feel like crap so I go for a nap

Maybe I'll feel fine

Just give me some time

I'm not a freak! It's all in my head

The old me has gone and I'm full of dread

The process is slow but I know I'll be OK

Just wait for me to emerge

although it'll take more than a day

I'm me, still me

Thank you for sharing your powerful piece with us, Julie!

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