By Joanna Kreisel I thought I couldn’t bear any more Then I expand Time slips away, slowly Awake with grief I dig deeper, heart heavy Mine, scars His, wounds Lean on me, I will take you through I tighten my grip, but it continues to take A strength stronger than before I wish I didn’t need to be Moments of deep despair We share tears You are home, where I need to be I am yours I long for before or after But there is only now About Joanna: I am a breast cancer survivor and caregiver to my partner who is undergoing treatment for a rare kidney cancer. Connect with Joanna on Instagram Share your poetry: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetups Free Events

By Dania Francis Read Dania’s breast cancer story: Thoughts on October: Breast Cancer “All Too Aware” Month Every morning for 5 weeks. I park my car, walk down the long path, check in while patients much older than me can’t help but stare, and I smile as I stick out my right wrist to get my ID band placed by the nice front desk staff. I walk down the hall. The first day I was a bit lost with each turn, but now I know exactly where to go. I find my locker, lucky number 23, and I grab my XXL gown and get changed. I take the same seat every morning and look around the waiting room. Some women are reading, some are there for the first time, and some are almost done. I smile at whoever is looking, and make a connection. A 41-year-old woman just like me with the same diagnosis of triple negative breast cancer (TNBC), she’s from Italy originally and has a beautiful accent. We talk about our Italian culture and how hard this has all been. We exchange numbers and offer each other comfort and good wishes for the day. We are on the same schedule and will end our radiation within two days of one another. She is struggling with knee pain from immunotherapy and I offer her some advice to talk to her doctor about. A 35-year-old woman is holding a big tub of chocolate biscotti to give to the radiation team, because she heard that’s what you should do. I tell her I’m a nurse and that we always appreciate that. We smile at each other and I learn that she is halfway through her treatment for triple positive breast cancer. I wish her luck as the tech calls my name. An 85-year-old woman is here for her first day of treatment for HR+ breast cancer. She is nervous and unsteady on her feet. Her daughter comes back with her to help her get into her gown. She sits down next to me. I smile at her and tell her everything will be okay. She smiles at me and I can tell she feels sorry I am so young. She reaches her hand to my arm and squeezes gently. The tech calls her name and I wish her luck. I look forward to seeing her tomorrow. I only have five more mornings in this waiting room after today... and I will remember the connections I made forever. Maybe it’s the nurse in me, or the desire to connect with others on this path. The waiting room is a special place for me. About the author: Dania is 41 and lives in NY with her husband and two small children. She is a Family Nurse Practitioner, Yoga teacher, and certified Reiki healer. She is a stage 2 Triple Negative Breast Cancer Thriver. Read More: Thoughts on October: Breast Cancer “All Too Aware” Month Different Types of Breast Cancer Breast Cancer in Young Women: Common Questions Answered On the Podcast: Breast Cancer Conversations Radiation Therapy: What Every Breast Cancer Thriver Needs To Know Share your story, poetry, or art: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetups Free Events

By Olivia Smith Content warning: death and dying Read part 1 of Olivia’s story: The Last Thing I Told My Mom Was a Lie (Part 1) My sister met me in South Carolina and we drove with my 2-month-old puppy down to Florida, stopping for the night along the way. The time is still such a fog; it seemed so quick, and it felt like I was moving through a vat of honey all at once, almost as if life was happening to me and I wasn’t in my body. I was terrified to get there and see how she looked. Before this round of cancer, she was always very fit and healthy, enjoying the gym. For much of her life, she was ripped. Over the past 11 months, she had shrunk over 3 inches from the tumors along her spine and compression fractures from the cancer. She was a bit hunched over and had lost a lot of weight. She refused to look at herself in the mirror, which broke my heart. She was beautiful, but had spent her 56 years on this Earth having a bad relationship with her body, including eating disorders. The changes the cancer made to her body exacerbated her low body image and this was a big struggle for her. On my previous trip down, two weeks prior, her weight loss and new height were pretty evident. But it was still a shock to see her only two weeks later, so very frail and her complexion looking a grayish yellow. She came outside to see us, so excited we were there, and my stomach dropped seeing the changes, making it feel real. I tried to mask the shock from my face so she wouldn’t notice. As our mom, she was already more afraid of the effect her death would have on her daughters than her fear of death itself. The next few days passed in a blur; the hospice care team finally came to do an intake on Friday. By then, my mom’s speech was a bit slurred. She also left with her husband Friday to complete her will. In her 11 months with this cancer, she had yet to do that until the last possible minute. I spent the days with her and my sister while she was awake, playing with my puppy while trying to keep his high energy from bothering my mom. We tried our best to make her laugh, keep her comfortable, and be there for her, but we had no clue how much longer she had left. I spent the nights sobbing on the floor in their bathroom by myself before I took a shower. I was so afraid of what was to come and how I could survive it. I tried to keep my pain and fear to myself, even though we were all experiencing it. That Saturday, my sister and I were lying by my mom’s pool while she rested, and I decided to read the hospice pamphlet. The back of it had signs of coming death to look for, grouping it by how soon death was to be anticipated. One sign that meant death was coming very quickly was swelling and discoloration of the feet and ankles. Later that day, I noticed that her feet and ankles were swollen and discolored. I looked at my sister and asked if she’d read that pamphlet. “Yup,” she said. “Did you see Mom’s feet?” I asked. “Yup,” she said. And we just nodded and sighed, knowing it was coming soon. This was all happening in August, but we were thinking ahead to Thanksgiving, as it was my mom’s favorite holiday. We had planned to go down that Thanksgiving to spend it with her in case it was her last, and to celebrate my sister’s master’s degree graduation, but we didn’t make it. At the suggestion of one of my best friends, we decided we would do Thanksgiving for my mom that Sunday and invited a few close people to celebrate with her. By the time Sunday came, my mom was barely leaving the hospice bed, except to try to use the restroom. That morning, my mom’s husband told us that she told him she didn’t know how much time she had left, and we took it as a sign of goodbye. Later, my mom asked for my sister and me. She told us she loved us very much and was proud of us. We then knew she was definitely saying goodbye. I asked her if she was scared, hoping she would tell me no and that she was at peace and ready to go to set my mind at ease. But she wasn’t. She barely got the words out, “Yes, I’m scared,” and it broke my heart. I hugged her and tried to keep myself together. Just as my step sister and family friends were arriving, I left her room and cried while mashing potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner. I wasn’t ready for this. My mom wasn’t well enough to sit and eat with us. Right before dinner, she had her first hospice nurse visit. The nurse told us she was at the five-day or less timeline, gave us some emergency medicine, and gave my mom an anxiety and pain pill. We sat down and tried to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with the door from my mom's room open right next to us. She started groaning while we ate, and one of us at a time would go in and sit with her. Just before dessert, my sister called for me to come in. “It’s time,” she said. I stood by my mom, brushing her hair with my hand and telling her I loved her. I kissed her forehead while she groaned and cried when I felt her cool skin, knowing it really was coming. I had to get a chair to sit on because I was shaking. My step brother was supposed to be leaving for the airport but couldn’t because my mom was actively dying. We all sat around her for what felt like hours as she groaned and moaned, and her breathing slowed. We all lied to her, telling her it’s okay, she could let go, and we would be okay. My sister and I told her she raised us well and we would be okay without her, but even I didn’t believe myself. I didn’t want to say those lies; she taught me not to lie. “Honesty is the best policy,” she had said, but I had to lie to let her go, to get out of pain. I had watched my mom suffer for 11 months, and I couldn’t ask her to suffer for one more moment. It wasn’t okay, though. I didn’t believe I would be okay. At one point, she groaned, “Help me.” I lost it and started sobbing; my big sister motioned to my step brother and pointed to me as if to say, “Take care of her.” He immediately stepped over and hugged me, and I spent the rest of the time she was dying sobbing into his stomach. What do you do when your dying mother says “Help me” and you can’t? That was the most painful part of all for me. I had never watched anyone die before; I wasn’t prepared. My only expectation was seeing “so-and-so died peacefully surrounded by family” in obituaries. But this was far from peaceful; she cried for help! Would she be okay? Would she find peace? As someone who doesn’t handle not having all of the answers well, this tore me apart. After a painful 11 months with cancer, I just needed to know she was at peace and out of pain at the end, and I didn’t know how to trust that after watching her painful death. Her breathing continued to slow, and eventually her groaning became quieter and quieter. Her husband noticed she had wet herself and asked us to change her. We moved her body from the hospice bed to her bed. My sister and I helped take off her nightgown while my step sister cleaned the hospice bed and got new sheets. We moved her back, covering her dying, naked body with a blanket. Soon after that, her breathing stopped altogether. She was gone. We said goodbye, and we all left the room, calling our partners and trying to process the news. I spent the majority of that evening crying. My sister and step sister went back into the room after calling the funeral home to come pick up her body. They let her dogs sniff her dead body so they would know what happened. Together, they picked out an outfit and shoes to dress my mom in so she could look beautiful and have dignity as her body was cremated. My sister even applied my mom’s favorite beauty item, mascara, to her eyelashes. I am forever grateful my sister could do this for my mom. I wasn’t strong enough to see her again. I stayed outside when they came to remove her body, too. I couldn’t take seeing her lifeless body another time. That evening, after she was gone, all of us kids spent time in her pool, laughing and crying over memories of her. She was gone. I still didn’t know how I would move on, how I would forget the feeling of her cool skin, forget the lies I told her, forget her last words begging for help. It’s been six months now, and although I get flashbacks and nightmares about her death less frequently, they still come. I don’t know if they’ll ever go away. The pain it brings me is hard to explain. I wish I could take away her pain, take away her death. Sometimes, I forget she’s not still alive and well in Florida, riding on a motorcycle and enjoying the warm weather. I still don’t know how to get over a lot of it. Sometimes my brain can’t comprehend that it happened, even though I watched the life leave her pale cold body that was once a strong, warm place to seek safety. Sometimes I have a thought cross my brain of a question I need to ask her, or something funny to tell her before I realize that’s not possible, and the pain comes flooding back again. I have to constantly re-remember that she’s dead, that this is real life and not some terrible nightmare I will wake from, which oftentimes means reliving her suffering and death. Sometimes my sister and I are forced to relive her death through nightmares and spend the next day in a fog. But I’m in therapy to process it, and the waves of grief come less and less frequently. And sometimes I can remember fond moments with her now, and make fun of her annoying tendencies with my sister. Sometimes we also make other people uncomfortable with dark humor, and sometimes we eat what we call “dead mom cheesecake” and mope. Dead mom cheesecake got its name from my sister. One day at work, shortly after our mom died, one of her coworkers brought in a cheesecake that their wife had made for my sister. My sister was tired of people being awkward about our mom’s death and not knowing how to act around her. So, when she took the cheesecake out to eat it, she asked everyone if they would like to eat some “dead mom cheesecake” with her. Her dark humor worked and broke the ice with her coworkers, putting them at ease. They felt more comfortable around her and enjoyed “dead mom cheesecake” with her. Using dark humor may not be for everyone, but it has been a coping mechanism my sister and I appreciate. Sometimes it makes others uncomfortable, but sometimes it can help break the ice to put people at ease. When it’s just her and I, it can help make things more bearable and allow us to laugh alongside the pain. Nothing could’ve prepared me for my mom dying. But it wasn’t until I read a memoir about a woman who lost her mom to cancer, who said her mom’s last word was “pain” that I felt seen and like I wasn’t alone in experiencing such a painful death. It felt comforting to know that my mom wasn’t alone, that maybe it was more common than I thought. That maybe she is okay now somewhere, playing with my childhood dog and looking after me in another way. People don’t talk about death often; it’s not a fun thing. I often feel isolated by it, wishing people would talk about her more, even if it brings up some sad feelings. It feels good to talk about her, to remember her, that she mattered. Death is inevitable for all of us. Through her death, I have found a passion for advocating and fundraising for breast cancer organization funding and research. I dream of a world where nobody will have to experience what my mom did. Where no loved ones will have to experience what my sister and I did. I have been hesitant to talk much about her death, for many reasons. It isn’t easy to talk about. I wrote most of this in tears, having to relive a really traumatizing experience. Talking about death makes most people uncomfortable, and who likes to make people uncomfortable? Also, since being more involved in the breast cancer community, I see so many stories of hope and beating the odds. So many women working so incredibly hard to rid their bodies of cancer, like the one that killed my mom. Those stories bring me and so many others such a heart-warming sense of hope and happiness. I am afraid to share my experience with her death because I don’t want to bring fear to anyone experiencing breast cancer. Everyone’s cancer experience is unique, and thankfully many don’t end in death. There have been so many advancements in the last decade, improving statistics. However, death is the one thing that is guaranteed in life, we will all experience it at some point, hopefully in a more peaceful way than my mom did. Sharing my experience isn’t easy. I’d prefer to keep it to myself and shield people from the harsh death we witnessed. However, the more people I’ve shared my experience with, the more I’ve felt not alone. I’ve heard others suffering quietly in their own bubble, afraid to talk about what they saw. Writing it down and sharing it has helped me, and if this brings at least one person some comfort and to feel a little less alone, then it was worth the pain that came with writing this. My sister and I did what we could to bring our mom comfort when her time came, even though it caused us pain, including telling her one last lie. I can only hope that the lie brought her some peace in her last moments and that she’s proud of us and who we are becoming in her absence. If you are searching for someone who understands or have questions, feel free to reach out to me at @gingers_breasties on Instagram or at gingers.breasties@gmail.com. Read More: Navigating Grief: Understanding the Stages of Loss and Healing Breaking the Silence on End-of-Life: What is a Death Doula? Newly Diagnosed with Metastatic Breast Cancer Living with MBC Metastatic Breast Cancer: Understanding the Significance of Stage IV Supporting Loved Ones with Breast Cancer: How to Offer Meaningful Help Thursday Night Support Groups On the Podcast: Breast Cancer Conversations Breaking the Silence on End-of-Life Share your story, poetry, or art: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetups Free Events

Multiple Dates Mon, Apr 29 Online Event Meditation Affirmations: Throat Chakra (Vishuddha) Apr 29, 2024, 10:00 AM – 11:00 AM EDT Online Event The process of focused meditation with attention and intention can provide answers to various questions we may have especially around limiting beliefs. This is an opportunity to anchor the chakra teachings and transform our consciousness around. Share Come Join Us Multiple Dates Mon, May 06 Online Event Meditation Affirmations: Third Eye Chakra (Ajna) May 06, 2024, 10:00 AM – 11:00 AM EDT Online Event The process of focused meditation with attention and intention can provide answers to various questions we may have especially around limiting beliefs. This is an opportunity to anchor the chakra teachings and transform our consciousness around. Share Come Join Us Multiple Dates Tue, May 07 Virtual Event Forest Bathing May 07, 2024, 6:00 PM – 7:00 PM EDT Virtual Event Join this Forest Bathing class and experience a deeper connection with nature, reduce stress, improve mental well-being, and increase feelings of calm and relaxation Share Come Join Us Tue, May 21 Virtual Event In body Breathwork May 21, 2024, 6:00 PM – 7:00 PM EDT Virtual Event Breathwork is a powerful modality that combines conscious breathing techniques with mindfulness and meditation. Share Come Join Us Mon, May 27 Virtual Event Brain Spotting May 27, 2024, 6:00 PM – 7:00 PM EDT Virtual Event Brainspotting is a therapy technique used to address trauma and emotional distress. Share Come Join Us Multiple Dates Mon, Jun 03 Online Event Meditation Affirmations: Crown Chakra (Sahasrara) Jun 03, 2024, 10:00 AM – 11:00 AM EDT Online Event The process of focused meditation with attention and intention can provide answers to various questions we may have especially around limiting beliefs. This is an opportunity to anchor the chakra teachings and transform our consciousness around. Share Come Join Us Positive Thinking, Mindfulness & Meditation For Healing Meditation On Demand Meditation. Create your own private haven anytime and anywhere. We have a number of beautiful meditations in our library. Choose one and practice it for a week or two. If you practice every day at the same time, you’ll notice that your brain is trained to follow your meditation practice consistently. Live Classes Join us for virtual classes with instructors who understand the cancer experience and offer a warm and welcoming community setting. Meditation & Journaling Join our chakra meditation with Gloria every Monday. After the meditation, participants are invited to write about their experience during the meditation. If they feel called to do so, they can also share their writing with the class. This is a great way to realize how connected we truly are. What are chakras? In Sanskrit, the word “chakra” means “disk” or “wheel” and refers to the energy centers in your body. These wheels or disks of spinning energy each correspond to certain nerve bundles and major organs. To function at their best, your chakras need to stay open, or balanced. Connect with your inner self, your spirit, and being through exploring your chakras. Positive Thinking and the Power to Heal ​The power of positive thinking is so pervasive today that many doctors and nurses strongly recommend developing a positive mental attitude to prevent sickness, to help overcome medical setbacks like disease, and to assist in the recovery from surgery. ​ There is healing power in positive thinking. But can you heal yourself just by being positive, optimistic and focused? Yes! It is believed that positive thoughts are able to prompt physiological changes in your body that strengthen your immune system, decrease pain, and provide stress relief. The “Power of Positive Thinking”, a self-help book by Norman Vincent Peale , published in the last century, first proposed the method of "Positive Thinking ". It aimed to ensure that one could achieve a permanent fruitful and optimistic attitude through constant positive influence of his/her conscious thought. This was to be accomplished through affirmations/visualizations, thus allowing one to attain higher satisfaction and quality of life. Similarly, in the book, “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne, the Law of Attraction is explored and suggests that whatever energy, thoughts, or visualizations you put out into the universe, you will receive. So, if you send out negative vibes, or think something negative will happen, it probably will. If you send out positive vibes, positive things will be returned. Read Inspiring Articles How to Develop Positive Beliefs Start by applying the right kind of positive thinking so that you direct your subconscious mind to help heal your body and improve your life. ​ Direct your conscious and subconscious mind to help you heal. ​ Don’t worry. "Worry only takes the joy out of your day". Find a way to focus on the positive. What are you grateful for? Start a mental list of the things and people in your life that you are thankful for.​ Be optimistic. Surviving Breast Cancer Mar 5 3 min Breast Cancer Stories Thoughts on October: Breast Cancer “All Too Aware” Month By Dania Francis Although most people know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, many do not realize what a tough month it is.... Surviving Breast Cancer Feb 29 3 min Positive Mindset & Inspiration No Scars to Your Beautiful By Jayita Chatterjee [This one is for me, for my pink cancer friends that went through lumpectomy, mastectomy and/or reconstruction, and... Surviving Breast Cancer Feb 9 2 min Positive Mindset & Inspiration Remember You Are Not Alone By Lourdes D. Heras After a breast cancer diagnosis… My life, your life, our life changes and the lives of those around us are impacted.... Surviving Breast Cancer Jan 14 2 min Blog Emotional Well-being during Breast Cancer: Coping Strategies and Support Resources A breast cancer diagnosis can evoke a range of emotions—fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, uncertainty, and more. Emotional responses vary among Surviving Breast Cancer Jan 14 2 min Positive Mindset & Inspiration Holistic Approaches to Complement Breast Cancer Treatment: Benefits and Practices Understanding these holistic approaches, their benefits, and their integration with conventional treatments can be valuable for individuals. Surviving Breast Cancer Oct 11, 2023 1 min Poetry Inspire & Innovate By Gloria Shoon At the first light; With gratitude in my heart, I connect with self and all of the Universe... Love is always in season;... Surviving Breast Cancer Mar 28, 2023 2 min Blog New Meanings and Shifting Priorities By Kristen Carter If you want to know what’s most important in life, just ask a woman who’s been diagnosed with breast cancer. Facing her... Surviving Breast Cancer Mar 17, 2023 2 min Blog My Experience in the SBC Encourage & Empower Program By Carol Collins During my breast cancer treatment, I came across Survivingbreastcancer.org. I soon saw a sign up post for Encourage &... Surviving Breast Cancer Feb 25, 2023 4 min Blog Putting Yourself First By Kristen Carter When Dawn Oswald was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer in 2008, her first impulse was to get on with treatment... Surviving Breast Cancer Feb 9, 2023 3 min Blog Self-Love Comes First By Kristen Carter Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful holiday if you’re in a relationship with someone you care for (and who cares for... 1 2 3 4 5 On Demand Meditation Cannot make a live class. No worries, we got you covered. You can access our on demand meditations anytime, anywhere! Let's Meditate Now Live Classes: What Your Chakras Are Telling You Chakra images courtesy of HopeSpring.ca Meditation testimonials Why and how meditation can help? "Meditation brings us into the now – the present and this helps us to eliminate our thoughts on the past and the future. Why this helps is because it is the past that can make us depressed and it is the future that can make us worry."

Meditation for Breast Cancer (On Demand) Visit our official YouTube meditation playlist! Live Classes: Multiple Dates Meditation Affirmations: Throat Chakra (Vishuddha) Mon, Apr 29 Online Event Apr 29, 2024, 10:00 AM – 11:00 AM EDT Online Event Apr 29, 2024, 10:00 AM – 11:00 AM EDT Online Event The process of focused meditation with attention and intention can provide answers to various questions we may have especially around limiting beliefs. This is an opportunity to anchor the chakra teachings and transform our consciousness around. Share RSVP Multiple Dates Meditation Affirmations: Third Eye Chakra (Ajna) Mon, May 06 Online Event May 06, 2024, 10:00 AM – 11:00 AM EDT Online Event May 06, 2024, 10:00 AM – 11:00 AM EDT Online Event The process of focused meditation with attention and intention can provide answers to various questions we may have especially around limiting beliefs. This is an opportunity to anchor the chakra teachings and transform our consciousness around. Share RSVP Multiple Dates Forest Bathing Tue, May 07 Virtual Event May 07, 2024, 6:00 PM – 7:00 PM EDT Virtual Event May 07, 2024, 6:00 PM – 7:00 PM EDT Virtual Event Join this Forest Bathing class and experience a deeper connection with nature, reduce stress, improve mental well-being, and increase feelings of calm and relaxation Share RSVP In body Breathwork Tue, May 21 Virtual Event May 21, 2024, 6:00 PM – 7:00 PM EDT Virtual Event May 21, 2024, 6:00 PM – 7:00 PM EDT Virtual Event Breathwork is a powerful modality that combines conscious breathing techniques with mindfulness and meditation. Share RSVP Brain Spotting Mon, May 27 Virtual Event May 27, 2024, 6:00 PM – 7:00 PM EDT Virtual Event May 27, 2024, 6:00 PM – 7:00 PM EDT Virtual Event Brainspotting is a therapy technique used to address trauma and emotional distress. Share RSVP Multiple Dates Meditation Affirmations: Crown Chakra (Sahasrara) Mon, Jun 03 Online Event Jun 03, 2024, 10:00 AM – 11:00 AM EDT Online Event Jun 03, 2024, 10:00 AM – 11:00 AM EDT Online Event The process of focused meditation with attention and intention can provide answers to various questions we may have especially around limiting beliefs. This is an opportunity to anchor the chakra teachings and transform our consciousness around. Share RSVP

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