Diagnosis:

Diagnosed in January 2017 with Triple Positive Breast Cancer.

Surgery:

Two surgeries (one for breast removal and one to complete reconstruction)

Chemotherapy

12 rounds of chemotherapy and 1 year of immunotherapy every three weeks (Herceptin)

Tammy's 

Journey

Dear Cancer,

 

Things I wanted to say but didn't.

How could this happen to me?

I am a personal trainer, I try my best to eat healthy foods, I eat lots of fruits and vegetables, no fast food, I don’t drink (besides an occasional sip of my husbands red wine), don’t smoke, workout 6 days a week etc…  I was devastated.  The thought of the surgeries and putting poison into my body made me want to run away forever.  

Where to begin...

The long story short is I had a routine mammogram January 2017.  Months later after many more images and tests, two surgeries (one for breast removal and one for complete reconstruction) I found myself facing my greatest fear:

 

Chemo.

 

Not only would I have to complete 12 weeks of chemo but because I am triple positive, I would need a year of immunotherapy every three weeks before the treatment year will be done.  I’m thankful my tumors were small and my lymph nodes were clear but I had a long year ahead.

I had to accept this and move on. 

I had many sleepless nights. 

 

I cried many tears.

 

I knew I had to do this for my family and friends.

 

I really didn’t want to. 

 

How could I make this all go away? 

                   

                                             

                                      I couldn’t. 

So I took action!

 

I kept working out six days a week. 

 

Some days this meant only walking or very light weights

 

I kept moving and I believe this helped me recover very quickly from my surgeries and chemo. 

 

 

Believe me, I had days where all I could do was sit on the couch because the nausea was so extreme. 

 

I cried because I felt everyone else was living their lives and I was only watching but not living at all, I was only barely existing. 

 

The day I shaved my head was difficult. 

But the day I lost my eyelashes and eyebrows I went into an extreme depression. 

I no longer looked or felt like me. 

I couldn’t even recognize the person in the mirror. 

 

She was so unrecognizable 

and literally stayed indoors for weeks.  

While going through treatment

I went every three weeks for herceptin & finished in July of 2018. My hair is slowly growing back. 

It was very uncomfortable to wear a wig so I try and not stay out for too long.

I was working very part-time but had to put most of my life on hold.  I don’t know if I will ever feel like my old self again.

Sometimes I forget but then I see myself in the mirror and it all comes back. 

My body will never really look the same but that’s ok

I have a strong faith in God and I know He will guide me through whatever happens.  

I can’t wait for the day when this is all over, when I have hair again and then I will feel truly like I can put this behind me...

Except for the fact that a reoccurrence will always be in the back of my mind. 

Where am I now? 

It’s been over a year since I completed chemo and 6 months since I completed Herceptin.

 

I’m feeling better every day!

 

I’m slowly getting stronger and even a little less tired!

 

There is hope & life does go on!! 

 


My hair came back and I'm ready to celebrate life!

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