
Receiving a breast cancer diagnosis and dealing with the subsequent treatments and issues is challenging. The news can ignite many emotions, whether you’re newly diagnosed, facing a recurrence, or experiencing progression. Unfortunately, for some people, the cancer journey also includes heartache and partner abandonment from someone they thought they could count on no matter what.
It can be emotional or physical when a partner abandons a person with cancer. Emotional partner abandonment occurs when the non-cancerous person in a relationship withdraws their emotional support and affection. Physical partner abandonment happens when they leave the house for extended periods, stop paying bills, and cease to engage in other household-related activities.
Women Are At Greater Risk for Partner Abandonment
Sadly, partner abandonment after a cancer diagnosis isn’t unique, and it’s more likely to happen to women. Research from the University of Michigan found that 31% of marriages that involve physical illnesses end in divorce. In addition, the study found that more men than women develop serious health problems over time, but more men leave their sick wives. This means women are doubly vulnerable to marital dissolution connected to illnesses: they are more likely to become widowed and more likely to be abandoned if they get ill.
Another study from the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center found that significantly more husbands leave their wives compared to wives leaving husbands after a serious illness such as cancer or heart failure diagnosis. The overall rate of marital dissolution among cancer patients is about 12%. In addition, the divorce rate when a woman is the cancer patient is 20.8%, while the rate when a man has cancer is just 2.9%.
Why People Abandon Loved Ones After a Cancer Diagnosis
Sometimes people abandon their loved ones after a cancer diagnosis because they fear what will happen. They may be scared that their loved one will die or that cancer will cause them to suffer horribly. Others may simply be afraid of the unknown — what the future holds for them and their partner and how it might change their lives forever.
Some people also abandon their loved ones because they don't want to experience pain. Cancer can make people feel helpless and frustrated, especially if it prevents them from doing things they used to enjoy: going out with friends or family members, taking care of household chores, or even being intimate with someone they love.
How To Tell If Your Partner Will Abandon You After a Cancer Diagnosis
There’s no way to know if your partner will abandon you after you’ve been diagnosed with cancer — or at any part of the cancer journey. But, if you’re worried that your partner will leave you after a cancer diagnosis, you can do a few things to find out. It might seem like an obvious question, but ask them!