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Expecting the Unexpected: Anticipatory Grief and Breast Cancer

Writer's picture: Surviving Breast CancerSurviving Breast Cancer

Updated: Aug 8, 2022


Have you ever felt preemptively depressed or anxious about something that hasn’t yet happened? Specifically, in regards to breast cancer, this may happen if you are awaiting news of a diagnosis, outcomes of a surgery or treatment, or any further development in your cancer. It can also bubble up as we discussed in regards to putting down a pet, or if you know that a loved one’s prognosis is not good and you want to make the most of the intimate time you have left. If so, you’re not alone, and are likely experiencing what can be called anticipatory grief. This phenomenon, while best studied in anticipated loss of life from any cause, can precede any major result or development from breast cancer that is assumed to be detrimental. Specifically, this often occurs within the contexts of receiving a breast cancer diagnosis, anticipating the loss of your breasts, or receiving the news of a metastatic prognosis.



Understanding Anticipatory Grief


In times of uncertainty regarding your or your loved one’s health, it is easy to assume the worst before it has been confirmed. For many, anticipatory grief is a coping strategy that may help soften the blow of an unfavorable outcome, and it can help those struggling to find closure, when/if their outcome is realized. With a disease as nuanced and individualized as breast cancer, the way you may cope with it is equally as complex and personal. Common experiences include emotional stress, preoccupation with the uncertain outcome or diagnosis, loneliness or social withdrawal, irritability, anger, or physical changes such as increased or loss of appetite, or even pain/body aches.


The key point to understand is that while it may seem counterintuitive to be sad about something that hasn't yet been confirmed or has happened yet, especially to an outside party, it is completely normal to experience anticipatory grief. It is also more common than you might think; even those experiencing other kinds of losses, such as when your child is moving out for college or you’re moving cities fo