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  • Writer's pictureSurviving Breast Cancer

Night Train, Volume 2., The Epiphany

By Laura and William


The emotions and the fear stabbed deeply

Through the numbness of shock and disbelief.

The pain curled me up into a ball

My knees tucked into my chest,

My hoodie pulled down over my head

I sobbed, realizing that this was to be me.

My search terms on YouTube spiraled from “what is breast cancer”

to “milking the drains”; “the iron bra”; “expanders and reconstruction”.

Terms that were not part of my vocabulary,

Once again, the power of knowing - it changes everything!


I couldn’t pull myself away from the stories of these young women.

I wanted to watch more, learn more, hear more,

Follow their experiences, find a connection.

On my four and a half hour train ride to New York,

I watched every video I could,

Somberly noticing there weren’t many.

The same YouTubers would appear in my search list

I had exhausted new terms and keywords.


I remember the epiphany.

A singular moment, sitting on my couch in Boston,

My bestie beside me, as I clicked “post” onto Facebook.

I was going to tell the world I had breast cancer.

That I was diagnosed at 34.

That I was vegan with no family history, nor genetic pre-disposition. That I was diagnosed with breast cancer

I was looking to take the community along for the ride.


Creating amateur YouTube videos allowed me to

Speak to my experience, and helped me to process.

I was able to share my experiences in real time;

The day I lost my hair.

My first infusion

Having my port get infected

Needing intravenous chemotherapy

Explaining a full auxiliary node dissection

Surgery hacks I wish I had known about

Crawling your fingers up the wall

Describing cording and lymphedema

Getting my first radiation tattoos

Skin irritations and radiation burns

Putting myself out there, exposed to all.


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Upcoming Events

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Surviving Breast Cancer provides breast cancer support, events, and webinars at no cost to you! Whether you are looking to gain more knowledge on a particular topic or meet up with other breast cancer survivors, we have something for everyone. 

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