Preparing for my Double Mastectomy and Assembling my Care Team

Surviving Breast Cancer
3 days ago
6 min read

By Whitney Wharton

I had an abnormal routine mammogram in August 2024, which resulted in an ultrasound, then a biopsy, which confirmed breast cancer.

Author Whitney (right) and her wife, Rebecca

I had a double mastectomy in late November with immediate silicone implant reconstruction. My surgery was about 2.5 hours, and I went home the same day and went back to work 2 weeks later. I then had radiation. I take oral therapy, CDK4/6 inhibitor Kisqali, as well as an aromatase inhibitor and an estrogen blocker, because I was premenopausal and still producing estrogen.

Author Whitney (left) and her wife, Rebecca

The following are tips from other women that significantly helped me, and lessons learned that I wished I had done differently. I also sprinkle in humor because that personally helps me, but I am not making light of cancer and understand that this is not a laughing matter. According to the American Cancer Society, about forty thousand women die of breast cancer each year in the United States. I also understand that I had excellent care as an insured person who works at the same institution where I receive care, and that is a privilege.

Note: This article offers general information and does not replace professional medical advice. Make sure to discuss your options with your healthcare provider.

Be your own healthcare advocate. Ask your care team all your questions. Take your time. If you don’t understand the answer, ask them to explain it in a different way. Don’t feel like you have to rush. The physicians work for YOU.

This is probably controversial, but in my opinion, liking/disliking your surgeon is not as important as their skill. We had a terrible first meeting with my surgical oncologist. She is an angry elf. I thought my calm and collected Queen (my wife, Rebecca) was going to come over the table at her (which was super sexy in retrospect). I am so thankful that my wife was there because I was totally taken aback and speechless, and she took control when I couldn’t, and handled the situation. However, my surgeon is the best in the business, and I’d have her remove Thelma and Louise again. (The new silicone sisters are Kourtney and Kim.)

I would, however, recommend finding a medical oncologist that is both skilled and has a good bedside manner, because you will be working with them long term. Insist on a care TEAM. Get a medical oncologist before surgery. Ask each physician every question you have, even if it’s not their specialty.

Some of the most helpful feedback I received came from asking my doctors this question: “What would you hope your daughter would choose in this situation?” A few times, their answer did not match what the clinical recommendation was, and that continues to guide my care decisions.

In my experience, I was asked to make decisions from a menu of options that worked for me as a human, my family, and my comfort level. I wasn’t quite prepared for this level of involvement, but it was both scary and appreciated. Cancer is not an exact science.

Take someone with you to your appointments. You will be on information overload, and may have to make quick decisions. Also, write down your questions. I found it helpful to have shared notes on my phone that my Queen/sister/mom could also add to.

Waiting is the worst. And there is a lot of it.

Ask your doctor about Oncotype DX tests, genetic counseling, etc. before surgery. Someone I love would have opted for mastectomy vs. lumpectomy had she known her genetic information and Oncotype DX scores before surgery. Information from Oncotype DX and genetic counseling can help with decisions about postop treatment (like chemo) and navigating recurrence risk.

Over-prepare for surgery. I probably did this to the extreme, but it made me feel better. Fill all your prescriptions beforehand. Have your bed/recliner all set up and ensure you are as comfy as possible. I also gave close contacts my wife’s phone number so she could respond in case I was unable or heavily medicated, and people wanted updates.

Ask if your surgeon administers a nerve block. I’m not sure if this is why my pain never exceeded 3/10 and why I didn’t need hard pain meds, or if I just got lucky. Probably both. But consider getting a nerve block.

Assemble your home care team. I was SO lucky to have my Queen, my sister and my mom. My wife was my constant and helped with my drains, showers and basically everything. My sister came to help run errands and help with my dogs and my mom came a few days after my sister left. And be patient with your home care team. They are just as (if not more) scared than you are.

Fiber supplements/bars to help with constipation. I recommend starting them as soon as possible. Trust me.

Keep a log of your meds/drain output. I had a “cancer table” with my cards and flowers and my meds all in one place. A place where I could easily access and find things was helpful.

If you have to wear a compression cancer corset (bra) after surgery, make sure you get one that fits properly. I have man shoulders and am 5’11’’, and I felt much better when my home care team ordered new ones for me. One size does NOT fit all, and you should be comfortable.

There will likely be details and information that you won’t know until after surgery. I didn’t know if they would be able to save my nipples until surgery. It was a blood flow thing. My plastic surgeon told me that if he wasn’t able to save my nipples that they could sew them to my leg and replace later, to which I responded, “What in the Stephen King are you even talking about?!” Luckily they were able to save mine, but if not, I opted to just let them go. They are just nipples, after all.

On the topic of nipples (these are a few of my favorite things), there are many options if you are not able to have nipple-sparing surgery. My besties are mainly men, and I put this to a vote. Top three votes were 1) getting three boobs like the woman alien in the movie Total Recall starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, 2) tattoos of waffles, or 3) having buttons sewn on... for texture.

Helpful gifts: Soft pajama shirts that zip in the front. Cash for tips for valet parking at doc visits. Meal trains might feel overwhelming – especially if you have a tiny fridge like we do and don’t want to eat the same thing for days in a row. I’d suggest Instead of Flowers meal delivery, or DoorDash/Uber Eats gift cards are awesome. Bookstore gift cards (my favorite).

OK that’s all I’ve got. I hope some of this is helpful for at least one person. Someone also please Google the freezing point of silicone so I know if I am safe to venture outside during the polar vortex with Kourtney and Kim. Love to you all and for anyone who needs an ear, a shoulder or support during their own journey, I’m always here. Thanks for reading. Whitney, Kourtney and Kim

Note: This article offers general information and does not replace professional medical advice. Make sure to discuss your options with your healthcare provider.

About the author:

Whitney Wharton, PhD

Associate Professor

Cognitive Neuroscientist

Emory University

I am a research scientist at Emory University in Atlanta and am doing a story on cuts to breast cancer research. I testified at the U.S. Senate on the impacts of these cuts to patients and scientists. You can watch it on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/live/JofqSdWmhbM

Research cuts story featuring Whitney: Emory University breast cancer study one of thousands losing grants amid budget cuts