Dear Kristen,
Having breast cancer is wearing me down in so many ways, not just physically. I used to be so full of life and energy, and now I feel weak and timid. What can you suggest for feeling stronger on the inside?
One of my greatest beliefs is that each of us has inner strengths that help define who we are as individuals and that help us get through any situation with more confidence and clarity. When you’re feeling weak and timid, that is the perfect time to reconnect with your strengths and who you are when you are strong and confident.
Perhaps you’ve done a strengths inventory at some time in the past. If you haven’t, or if you’d like to get a fresh perspective, I recommend taking the free online VIA Assessment of Character Strengths. It is the most widely used survey of its kind, having been taken by more than 15 million people over the past ten-plus years, and is scientifically validated.
I also like it because it is not work-focused, as so many strengths tools are; instead, the VIA Assessment shows who you are across all areas of your life. (You can opt to purchase an extensive report on your strengths, but it is not necessary. For no charge, you will receive a summary of your strengths in ranked order.)
What do you do once you know what your strengths are? You leverage them to do the things you’re struggling with. For instance, let’s take the strength of kindness. It is the most common strength among people worldwide, but I’ve found that it is most often directed at other people. For a change, try using kindness on yourself, treating yourself gently and with loving compassion.