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  • Writer's pictureSurviving Breast Cancer

Uninvited Guest

By Lillibit Ray


A routine appointment on a regular day.

The sun blaring hot outside,

Asphalt fuming, plants gone limp and gray.

I remember thinking hell’s flaring up again.

Why today?


Inside the exam room 

doctor enters the room after a wait, 

and I’m told solemnly

they’ve found a nodule in my breast.

Not knowing what that is

I say, “okay.”

How bad could it be?

“Cancer,” the doctor says,

“is how bad it can be.”


I imagine black cells, green cells

collecting in a mosh pit of packed growth

trampling and crushing the innocent cells 

keeping me alive.

How do I engage this unwelcome visitor?

What need I do to survive?


Persistent, malignant masses

hardened by hubris,

sized as peas or walnuts

offering little comfort

when talking of tumors.


Just cut it out.

Remove the killer waste

multiplying at death’s speed,

accelerating in unnecessary haste.

Rip out a lymph network

supplying safe passage

to unwanted posers.

Threatening one’s safety.


Feeling so healthy,

I feel conflicted by the news.

Bad juju indeed

devastates my mellow moxie.

Immortality suddenly a pipe dream.

I can’t be dying inside.

Ask the doctor, “are you sure this is right?”

and she answers, “the tests don’t lie.”








 

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