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By William Laferriere We talk with a Dear Friend (Alone, & hoping that a recent setback is tick related - imagine wishing for that) She lives all alone, in her own little home, a short scenic stroll to the sea. She’s concerned that a potential Necrosis* or even a tick related Anaplasmosis** may be a sign of things to come. Sickly Weak Paranoid Unable to move without tremendous effort Not religious, but existentially spiritual, calling out from a floored fetal position - for her Mom, Evincing her Gaelic Ancestry Mortally fearful that she’ll pass and no one will come looking. Her delirium continues, Her cat survives by consuming her exhausted, cancer ridden body Just then a vision, an epiphany, a comprehensible voice in a dream calls out “Thy will be done” Physical Recovery occurs within days Thought conceptualization returns to focus on the improbable now Alive, Scared and Still Alone -- Note 1. Necrosis is a cell tissue generated during an injury. Ultimately, it is a death tissue as formed and has no reverse action. With the impact of injury to the skin or bone, the amount of blood supply will reduce gradually. Due to the lack of blood supply, necrosis tissues were formed. The death of cells is caused by noxious stimuli. The agents of noxious stimuli are - bacteria parasites viruses fungi The formation of necrosis is due to various reasons. The major reasons are: oxygen deprivation or hypoxia, and extreme environmental conditions such as heat, radiation, or exposure to ultraviolet irradiation, etc. Note 2. Anaplasmosis is a disease caused by the bacterium Anaplasma phagocytophilum. These bacteria are spread to people by tick bites primarily from the blacklegged tick (Ixodes scapularis) and the western blacklegged tick (Ixodes pacificus). People with anaplasmosis will often have fever, headache, chills, and muscle aches. Doxycycline is the drug of choice for adults and children of all ages with anaplasmosis. (https:/ www.cdc.gov )

By Heather Lockerman Life for me is millions of mini snapshots on a continuous loop through my heart and mind. Life for me is being surrounded by caring and loyal friends, they are rays of sunshine on the darkest of days. Life for me is a painting of a sunny day at the beach, storm clouds looming in the distance. Life for me is cherished.

By Jill Rackham Life changed more than I imagined it ever would on this day. When I heard the word 'cancer,' I couldn't focus and didn't know what to say. My mind went blank, my body became tense and my heart almost boomed out of my chest. I looked at the nurse and consultant, as I tried to listen to what would happen next. My precious husband was lost for words I was thankful he was with me. I knew I was lucky as in covid times this wasn't always allowed to be. Walking out of the hospital I had a million things rushing through my mind. I knew from this moment though, that I was leaving my old life behind. Cancer, getting through the surgery and treatment would be my main focus now. I just wanted to close my eyes, be somewhere else, do anything to not let this happen some how. Telling my children was the hardest conversation I've ever had. As a mum their pain is your pain, it all felt so very sad. Letting my mum and sisters know this news had to happen too. My body was shaking as this was something I longed not to have to do. I began to tell more family and closest friends of the turmoil my life had become. The support I received was overwhelmingly kind and certainly helped me feel a little less numb. Sleep became scarce and nights felt so lonely from this moment on. My mind was such a jumble, flashbacks of this news is still something I can still always rely on. But time has moved on as surgery is now behind me, with hormone treatment continuing. Cancer is never far from my thoughts, but I'm learning how to stop these thoughts from spiraling. I'm not sure I'll ever forget my cancer diagnosis day, I get shivers down my spine every time that date passes my way. As time goes on hopefully this day will no longer be such a strong memory. And instead my focus now is having happy times with my friends and family. -- Connect with Jill and read more of her poetry on Instagram: @poems_to_help_you_through

By Brookshire Mcdonald Whatever journey Comes your way May you grasp love, strength, and hope Each day. Some days may be easy And others not so You will be in our hearts To soften the blow. Remember we have become "sisters" Not by choice, But continue to share experiences Through zoom voice. Shared fears and progress Can lighten feelings we’ve felt; So we won’t feel alone On the journey we’ve been dealt. Remember the hugs Dawn O. Taught us to do; Cross arms, wiggle fingers, and feel all the hugs Being sent to you. May this luggage tag With pink ribbon motto; Remind you your “sisters” are with you Wherever you go! Peaceful travels Our sweet Brookshire gave the SBC Retreat Attendees her powerful poem, a luggage tag with the breast cancer ribbon logo, and a breast cancer pen.

By Sara Kandler They had the ruby red grapefruit piled high in those scratchy mesh bags each orb heavy plump with juice that would geyser when pierced then groove the back of my tongue I reached out my hand my mouth watering Not those You said Jury’s still out I countered You: Still… (Me: did I forget my pill?) I watched you steer our oversized cart toward organic dairy and loved you even more from the harsh florescent lights above to the shiny grey industrial floor of that teeming superstore

By Julie Gaughan Spink, a breast cancer survivor Written for a friend who is struggling after treatment for breast cancer I'm me, still me So why do I feel this way? I want to be like I was before When I could laugh and sing and play Having one boob makes me feel a freak But that feeling changes week on week I'm me, still me Deep inside, behind the mask Like a volcano ready to erupt Where nobody thinks to even ask How are you really feeling? Not just today Let it all out - it's time to play! I'm me, still me Worrying myself sick about how I look Why's that you ask? I don't actually know I want to be ME - me the Mam, lover and cook Confidence is everything, but where did it go? Along with my boob I think - goodness only knows I need help to stop this fight It's with me all day long All day and night Feeling sorry for myself and crying non-stop Isn't what I expected when I had the op I expected it to be hard But now I feel like a lump of lard I feel like crap so I go for a nap Maybe I'll feel fine Just give me some time I'm not a freak! It's all in my head The old me has gone and I'm full of dread The process is slow but I know I'll be OK Just wait for me to emerge although it'll take more than a day I'm me, still me Thank you for sharing your powerful piece with us, Julie! Connect with Julie on Facebook !

By Meagan Miraldi A self-portrait by Meagan I meet her here, this unfamiliar version of myself, at the point of no return “She is so many things I am not,” I think to myself, and yet here she is, in front of me, moving forward into the unknown with her head held high. There are moments where I do not want to go with her, I dig my feet into the ground and refuse to take her hand, desperate to stay where I am. I did not choose to go with her, and yet as life goes, sometimes we do not get to choose our path. I must take her hand and follow her wherever she takes me, trusting that she knows the way, and that all will be okay. There are moments where I feel we are one, morphed together, however fleeting. There are moments where I feel like a limp body being dragged along behind her, admitting defeat out of sheer exhaustion. There are moments when I try to escape her grip, thinking I can sneak away without her noticing and make it back to the life I know and miss dearly, unscathed, and when I do, she gently guides me back, holds me in her arms, and reassured me that although it doesn’t feel like it, I am safe with her. As time passes, it becomes more and more clear that the only choice I have is to follow her lead and trust. Trust that she knows the way, trust that I am safe, and trust that one day I will be able to accept, without question, that this strong, fearless being standing in front of me, is in fact ME. Thank you for sharing your powerful piece with us, Meagan! Connect with Meagan on Instagram: @meggssbenedict & @breastcancermentalhealth Related Poems You Will Love I Bloom With Grace , by S helley Caruso I Saw Love , by J une Chapko After Cancer Me , by M eagan Miraldi Run , by Sara Kandler Cloudy , by Heather Lockerman I'm Still Me , by Julie Gaughan Spink Truth at the time of a breast cancer Dx by William Laferriere

By Pooja Jain Step out, Look around, Do you see a tree? Your body is like that tree. So many parts, ever-changing looks. Keep mindful breathing as strong roots, we will thrive. Zooming every Thursday with the Surviving Breast Cancer group helps me recharge. We talk, listen, cry and laugh at what Cancer has brought in our lives. Yes, we breathe together. The group has bloomed on Zoom - we party hard at Summer Soiree’, we do Book Club, Art therapy, Yoga, Expressive writing to name a few. Step out and listen to podcast- Breast Cancer Conversations with our own Laura Carfang. Know what is happening in the Cancer World. Yes, your doctor will think how come your Chemo brain is so sharp. Dear friend, Tell yourself…I AM that tree. Pluck the flowers, cut the branches…and the tree tries to grow again. You cut the tree itself, it gives space for something new to be bloom. Yes, this is BEGINNER’S MIND!

By Heather Nichols This unwelcome guest A karmic visitor Messenger She makes her home Within my bosom Determined She dances there Makes herself known Brazen Whispers her fear Worry a companion Rumination Ushers in overwhelm Flooded by love Resilience She accepts pain Bone and body Endurance She wilts away Her message received Acceptance

By Heather Nichols Impatient is my mind as I look toward the cloud swept sky I want to dance and play but it pins me down, forcing me to stay Trying to move is slow how many more days of this follow? The lesson is surrender but not sure how long I can endure Too heavy my limbs to lift so quickly my mind it drifts For rest now my healing knowing someday I will be feeling Stronger.

By Heather Lockerman lattes all around half cafe, non-fat, two shots, black cold brew, mocha, yum

By Shelley Caruso Original artwork by Shelley entitled, 'Wherever life plants you, bloom with grace' I tell myself everyday I’m not a victim, but a victor. I tell myself I was not robbed from something, but saved from something. I tell myself this too shall pass, but have a fear of what will not pass by me again. I tell myself these tears are only for a time, but sometimes time is timeless… I always pull myself up, but I seem too leave a little piece of me behind. My journey has not been easy, but it has made my choice easier too just be happy… Living one day at a time, making me happy…

By Jill Rackham Cancer you have changed my life so much, But there are many parts of it you definitely cannot touch... You cannot take away my desire for the future in remaining Cancer free. My hospital appointments and ongoing treatment give me hope that this is what will be. You cannot take away the love I have for my family and their support throughout. They have each helped me so much - this I'd have been lost without. You cannot take away my friends whose companionship I feel privileged to have had. They have helped me through the darkest times, made me laugh and so feel less sad. You cannot take away my wish to keep fit and be active each and every day. Even those days when my body feels broken - long walks, running and pilates are certainly here to stay. You cannot take away my positive approach to life. You have tried many times but I've clung to it tightly even in moments when unexpected results seemed rife. So Cancer, yes I know you have changed my life more than I ever thought you could. But there are also many things you cannot take away from me and life can still be good. --- Connect with Jill on Instagram: @poems_to_help_you_through Related Poems You Will Love I Bloom With Grace , by S helley Caruso I Saw Love , by J une Chapko After Cancer Me , by M eagan Miraldi Run , by Sara Kandler Cloudy , by Heather Lockerman I'm Still Me , by Julie Gaughan Spink Truth at the time of a breast cancer Dx by William Laferriere

By Dawn Oswald Mask Why do we wear them? Is it to hide? To mask our pain? Is it for a party? To enjoy life? Mask, why do you wear them? I put on a mask for my brave face For my family Masks can be sad or happy They can be beautiful or ugly Masks can be worn throughout the day What would your mask look like? The mask can be changed at any time Just as people change their hats A mask for this A mask for that Wear it for whatever reason To be brave To just be sad for a moment To be glad To be powerful To help others Do you mask your pain so others don’t worry? Do you say I am good or say I am okay? Is it harder to lie or tell the truth? Is it a lie if you don’t want them to worry? Do you mask your quality of life? Do you do one day at a time like me? That’s what I tell people to do: “One day at a time.” Do you mask your sadness or depression? Do you ask for help? I wear multiple masks A mask to help you, to help me, to help everyone A mask of laughter, love, of concern, patience and of hope Masks can be of many colors The color of a rainbow It can be black or white A mask of different faces: sad, happy, grieving, or even scared It can be whatever you want it to be It is your mask You chose what mask you want to wear What mask do you have on today Wear it proud I am going to wear my mask of bravery, love, hope and caring for us all Share your poetry: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetup s Free Events

By Julie Maley In life’s quiet tapestry, a storm did brew, Breast cancer’s shadow fell, my fears it drew. A wake-up call profound, it shook my core, From caregiving roles to seeking life’s grandeur. For years, my days were woven threads of care, Tending to others’ needs, burdens to bear. Preparing for the age of silvered grace, I tucked my dreams away, left no trace. But fate, relentless, knocked upon my door, Breast cancer’s specter, a truth to explore. It whispered of uncertainty, a twist of fate, The urgency to live, not hesitate. Fear coursed through veins like wildfire’s embrace, Yet in its grip, I found a newfound grace. The looming darkness carved a path of light, Guiding me to strength, igniting a fight. Strangers vanished, friends turned faces away, Yet in the darkness, love found a way. My husband, steadfast, stood by my side, A beacon of hope, in whom I could confide. For eighteen months, his love was my shield, As treatments waged war, together we healed. Others’ selfish whispers faded in the din, His care a testament, a love without sin. In vulnerability, I learned to be strong, In solitude’s embrace, I found where I belong. No longer just a caretaker in life’s grand play, I emerged as a warrior, seizing each day. Breast cancer’s grip, a catalyst so dire, Awakened my spirit, set my soul on fire. No longer defined by others’ whims and plans, I reclaimed my life, anew it began. So let the scars tell stories of battles won, A reminder of strength when darkness had won. Breast cancer’s shadow, it scared me to see, That life’s true gift is the chance to be free Share your poetry: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetup s Free Events

By Dawn Oswald You’re worth it I’m worth it We are all worth it So get up and tell the whole world Do what you want And buy what you want Because you’re worth it Yell, kick and scream Tell them to listen to you Be that judge Hit your hammer Tell them eyes on me and listen This is what I want I want everyone to hear me Because I am worth every cent Spread the word I am in charge Keep listening I have more to say You can jump on my bandwagon Or jump off at the next stop Get a clue Not a hint or two Listen Hear me roar For I am worth it Share your poetry: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetup s Free Events

By Gillian Pulford The spotlight shone as she stood De-robed-blindfolded Devoid of the familiar Guided to the table – she lay down, because they told her to Kind words deflected by an iron curtain of fear Bang they shot Bang, they shot again Transported to another world Was she dead? No, at least not yet But a different path in a parallel world lay ahead And there was no guide Share your poetry: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetup s Free Events

By Ginger Guzman How I anxiously longed for your arrival when I was young Waiting impatiently for you to finally make your appearance But frightened and shy of you all the same, afraid of how it would be When you finally did make your debut I was so very proud of you You brought me to the portal of adulthood where I first caught a glimpse of the future me Your entrance made me feel that I was on my way To finally becoming a woman The furtive timid looks from boys The first shy explorations of what it meant to have you as a new elemental part of me As we both grew, you introduced me to sweet sensations and sensual play That heralded so many changes and exciting promises of corporal joys You would never grow so very big, but you became an essential feature Of who I was; from your advent there was no me without you I am ashamed now that I took you for granted for so many years Annoyed with you the times you caused me discomfort and pain Forgive my stupidity, I took you for granted and now I shed an ocean of tears For I never realized the day would come that we two could no longer together remain There must be more to you than just skin, tissue, veins, blood What happens to you after they cut you off? Where do you go? Do they just throw you out? Do you just disintegrate and fall apart in some trough? How do I know, really truly know, that I have no choice, how do I live with the doubt? But in my heart of hearts, in the secret place where I seldom go There lives a voice that tells me what I need to know And she tells me now that I must learn how to say goodbye The experts are right; I must acquiesce and comply In the best way I can and with all the love I am able to show But how I wish there was someone, some book or class, to teach me to let go, to teach me how You were the first definitive sign of my womanhood, In you lives my youth, my girlhood dreams, those sweet fumblings & breathtaking discoveries, All those years, all those dreams that I can longer dream, all I must keep locked in my heart I must let go of the bad and only retain the good Without you, I must find my way to a new start Your door must close, another opens now… Once again, you bring me to the very precipice of a new world where I am poised to jump I fear it won’t be as full of wonder and discovery As the one you first showed me But perhaps it may be filled with the wisdom I so desperately need And possibly lovely surprises may well await me where I go I pray that I have the courage to say goodbye and set you free Time is a commodity too precious to put in peril or squander, I mustn’t tarry any longer; I beg of you one more gift: please take this disease with you and leave me unbowed Take all the cells that won’t stop multiplying, take their malevolent intent with you on your way And leave me more courageous, smarter, braver, kinder, stronger Make all my fear, meanness, self-pity, despair, doubts depart, and I vow not to pass a day That I do not remember and do my best to make us both proud Share your poetry: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetup s Free Events

By Sara Kandler We roam our Brooklyn streets neighbors huddling all of us ghosts chat softly with our young son gaping construction site fat pigeon circling while tiny papery fragments fall from the bright September sky settling on our forearms We blow at them and wonder fibers of a love note? pencil shards? a fingernail? No choice but to inhale these ashes the nuclear fallout we’d only imagined Radio voices tell us this is not a war between East and West but we feel it so crushing clash of cultures sorrowful bequest How to stay close in this tsunami of distress? At night our toddler drifts off to sleep nothing to do but curl around him our backs arched into a bony heart a cage a brace a frame Nothing to say no words no lexicon no name for this disaster this massacre Leila saïda my husband whispers in Arabic good night kisses our son’s doughy forehead the quiet metronome of his breathing so soothing then movement below something shifting landforms drifting readjusting leila saïda a soft spoken promise draws the dunes of Fire Island toward those of El Jadida to form a modern day Pangea and we dream of another radiant morning the ground trembles then surges skyward tall towers of stone this time arcing bonding the continents finally, we’re home *This poem first appeared in the poetry journal ONE ART . Follow Sara on Medium: @sarakandler Share your poetry: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetup s Free Events

By Dawn Oswald A roller coaster It can go up or down What goes up must go back down It can turn, twist and even go backwards You might stumble and go backwards, but you can also turn it back around Take it for a joy ride You can go fast or slow It’s your ride If you don’t like it, then turn it around Turn it around for you Let the world know you’re making the change A change for you, no one else Get on that roller coaster and guide it your way You can play it safe Or live on the edge It’s your day It’s your life A roller coaster of fun A roller coaster of fear You can have a thrill of your life It’s okay to be scared Yell and scream Laugh or cry Buy some time With a dime Ride it again and again Until you get it right Right for you You can sin Or you can go straight You are guiding it Over and over again Remember it’s your ride Your ride of your lifetime Now hop on Share your poetry: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetup s Free Events

By William Laferriere It takes on all shapes and sizes And is designed to lift someone’s spirit… Its presence duly noted From Deuteronomy onward And yet, surprisingly, We find it somewhat diminished Through these tumultuous years, Perhaps owing to the pandemic, social media, Global hostilities, cultural insensitivity, Excessive workloads, family stresses, Or the great divide of partisanship Or quite simply a craven response to self-delusion. The remedy comes in a tidy package Requiring sympathy, empathy, And a willingness to help For there are many less fortunate than we. The first step begins with an internal look... Go to the mirror, and Reflect on Who and what you are, and Take the time to redefine your legacy, Look past your own pain to see The pains of others And then consciously reach out. Share your poetry: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetup s Free Events

By Lourdes Heras One day we wake up, and life as we know it has changed. We now look in the mirror and see someone different. A new person that early on we may not recognize. And what one day we may have taken for granted, are the precious little things we are glad to wake up for every day! What used to bother us… we now realize are very silly things. Each day we wake up, we are thankful for a sun, a moon. Think about our new sisters, and the brother… we have now and can talk with about your feelings. I know I am glad I found you SBC (Laura & William). I am sure everyone here is glad too. No one can understand us exactly like you do! Although remote is how we began. This process for all of us has brought us closer Distance does not keep us apart Whether you are joining us on an English or Spanish TNT You know you have a shoulder to lean on, or even cry. SBC I would like to extend my heartfelt appreciation thank you for your commitment, transparency and integrity. Thank you for always striving for excellence. Thank you for fostering trust and giving us hope! Share your poetry: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetup s Free Events

By Dawn Oswald How I can change Change my actions or reaction Change my thoughts Change my feelings I can only change me My life My thoughts My feelings Me No one else but me How can you change? Your thoughts? Your action? Your reaction? You can’t change anyone It’s your change How do we want to do better? Sure, no one is perfect But I’m not asking for perfection Just a little change To make life easier Some things are not worth arguing about Get a life Make a change Do better Change for you How do we make them think? Maybe it’s them Not you or me But them They caused the situation Maybe they’re at fault Make them think about it They are wrong Choose your words wisely Let them feel sorry If not, you can try to change it Maybe they think they did nothing wrong You change you and your approach Know they have to change them But will they? You can change you Make that change Share your poetry: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetup s Free Events

By Jenny Burkholder Dedicated to Amy Today I send my wig to you— the platinum blonde bob black and white spy movie nobody will know hide what’s not there the pretend cry mercy of it— so, you too, can be in spite of it. About the Author: Diagnosed with triple positive MBC in 2019, Jenny Burkholder is the 2023-2024 Montgomery County Pennsylvania Poet Laureate. She’s the author of Repaired (Finishing Line Press, 2016) and co-host of OVERexpressed & OUT , a podcast that outs amazing women and their healing journeys. Share your poetry: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetup s Free Events

By Charlotte De Brabandt When I was lost and afraid, You found me and guided me home. When I was weak and in pain, You gave me strength to carry on. When I was afraid of the unknown, You gave me hope and courage. When I was feeling lost and alone, You were there for me, always. In the midst of shadows, you are our guiding light, A team of healers, strong and bright, Through the storm of breast cancer, we tread, With your support, we rise from where we've bled. In the white coats of hope, you stand so tall, With compassion and care, you give your all, Nurses, doctors, and all who aid, In this battle, together, we've made our trade. Through surgeries and treatments, you've been our guide, With skill and grace, you've stayed by our side, You've witnessed our tears, our laughter, and fears, And wiped away worries with tender care. So, to our medical team, our heroes so dear, You're the reason we're still standing here, For your dedication and firm grace, We'll forever hold your love in embrace. In this breast cancer battle, we find our way, With your support, we'll greet each new day, With gratitude and hearts full of love, We thank you, dear team, for your healing hands, I hope this poem inspires you to keep fighting and never give up, no matter what challenges you are facing. You are strong and brave, and you will get through this. Share your poetry: https://www.survivingbreastcancer.org/submit-breast-cancer-story SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Podcast Weekly Meetup s Free Events