By Rosalia Quintano
I wonder... I wonder what name he introduces himself by when he first meets you, and I wonder if he looks you straight in the eyes while he shakes your hand as if it were a symbol of commitment... I wonder if he was conceived on the same day as you or even grew up with you in the same womb, or maybe it is just a coincidence to have him as a lifelong roommate?
I wonder which words he uses to convince you to stop being afraid of him and just make peace, because this is the only way you can keep seeing the light.
I wonder what kinds of games you play with him and if he tells you the secrets of his life while you give him all of yours. Because from now on he will be eternally yours, for better or for worse, part of you, like those marriages that last for eternity.
I wonder if his invincible and indestructible being is a superpower that only he can afford to have. I wonder if he has ever had the chance to face one of the greatest enemies of fear, Hope. I wonder if justice is his friend or his enemy.
I wonder what kind of fairy tales he whispers in your ear to transform your gaze of terror into a mixture of serenity and acceptance.
I wonder if the addictions he shares with you, made of cocktails of drugs, give him moments of clarity and touch his conscience.
I wonder what kind of reasons he gives you to make you think that your loved ones will be ok. I wonder if he has ever asked permission to host his family in your home and let them sit in your most intimate spaces.
I wonder how he is able to seduce you to fall into his arms.
I wonder if empathy knocks on his door every now and then asking him to have mercy. I wonder if his charm resembles a snake charmer.
I wonder if, sometimes, his decision to leave you is because you decided to face him and cut him off, or it’s just a coincidence.
I wonder if he tells you goodbye before you enter the afterlife and how he does it. I wonder if anyone ever tried to push him into the fires of Hell while he shed his crocodile tears during the last goodbye.
I wonder if his fame is only well-known on planet Earth or is also known elsewhere... I wonder if screaming his name out loud can keep him away from me: Cancer.
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