A Disabled Clinical Psychologist’s 6 Tips for Living Well with Breast Cancer

Surviving Breast Cancer
Sep 11
6 min read

Updated: Sep 22

By Jennifer Caspari, Ph.D.

Disabled clinical psychologist Jennifer Caspari, Ph.D.

As a clinical psychologist living with cerebral palsy, a group of disorders that affect movement and muscle tone, I understand firsthand what it is like to live daily life with uncomfortable and unpleasant symptoms. I walk with a limp and experience chronic pain and fatigue. In addition to my lived experience, much of my career as a psychologist has focused on health psychology, helping individuals with acute and chronic health conditions, including breast cancer, enhance their functioning and quality of life.

A lot of loss can come with breast cancer. You may not be able to do certain activities you enjoy, or have to do them differently. Your role around the house or at work may change for a variety of reasons, such as undergoing treatment or having limited energy. At times, it may feel nearly impossible to live well with breast cancer and have a daily routine that feels meaningful.

Yet, it is possible to live well, which I define as spending time doing activities that are connected to your values, not struggling with or fighting against things that you cannot control or change in the moment, coming back to the present moment when caught up in unhelpful thoughts or future worries, slowing down, and cultivating a balanced perspective that acknowledges the complexity of your experience.

6 Tips for Living Well With Breast Cancer

Slow Down

You may be a “human doer,” constantly pushing to complete task after task, and struggling to slow down and rest, to feel OK with rest. Yet, humans are not robots. You have a finite amount of energy, and slowing down and taking time to rest and decompress allows you to refill your tank so you can do things that are meaningful to you. For example, sit, take some slow breaths, making the exhale part of the breath slow and long. Play some music you like, or take a brief 2 to 5-minute break between tasks and stretch or drink some water. Taking longer breaks is helpful too. You are allowed to just be.

Engage in Values-Based Behaviors

Life can feel smaller when living with breast cancer. You may feel isolated and less able to do activities. When your energy is limited, it’s natural to focus on the “have tos” of life. “What do I have to get done today?” Pause and consider what is meaningful and important to you, your values, and align your behavior with your values. Ask yourself, “What is meaningful to me to focus on today?” and take action that moves you in the direction of our values. And remember, you don’t have to do it all or complete activities. Practice taking small steps in the direction of your values.

Drop the rope in the tug-of-war with things that you cannot control or change in the moment

It is natural to fight against what is unpleasant and what you don’t like. However, doing so tends to just amplify distress, because you become caught in an unwinnable tug-of-war. Accepting the present moment means allowing the moment to exist as it already is and not fighting it. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to like it, or that you don’t take steps to change unhelpful behavior. Rather, you are freeing up energy, as you are not using energy fighting against reality, which allows you to engage in helpful and values-based behaviors.

Come back to the present moment when you feel caught up in unhelpful thoughts or future worries

It can be helpful to deliberately and purposely think about the past or future so that you can learn from your behavior and plan for future events. Yet, it is problematic when your mind is thinking about the past or future in a nondeliberate and spinning manner, thinking about the same thing over and over without a helpful outcome. This type of mental spinning can lead to increased stress, exhaustion, irritability, anxiety, and distress. Practicing coming back to the present moment allows you to deliberately direct your attention to your experience in the present moment, versus being stuck in your head. You can do this by taking a slow breath and noticing the sensation of the air moving in and out of your body. Or, looking around and naming 5 things you can see.

Tip: Join SurvivingBreastCancer.org for live meditation sessions, or visit our on-demand meditation library!

Cultivate a balanced perspective that acknowledges the complexity of your experience

You may zoom in and only focus on certain aspects of your experience, particularly aspects that are unpleasant or that you feel frustrated or upset by. However, multiple things, even contradictory things, can occur at the same time. If you practice acknowledging all aspects of your experience, you can make a more intentional choice about how you want to act versus focusing on only one aspect of your experience and acting out of habit or comfort. One way to practice this is by using the word “and” instead of “but.” Intentionally using the word “and” allows for complexity and dichotomy in your experience. “And” acknowledges, includes, and expands what precedes it. For example, you may say to yourself, “I am tired AND I would like to see my friend,” and then consider what feels most helpful to you right now.

Practice Body Neutrality

Body neutrality includes cultivating a neutral attitude toward the body that is realistic, mindful, and flexible. It involves appreciating the broad functionality of the body and recognizing that self-worth is not based on appearance. You can practice this by respecting and taking care of your body, reminding yourself what your body can do (e.g., breathe), even when coping with body changes and challenges, and holding your thoughts about your body lightly and flexibly, as they will likely change over time.

Note: This article offers general information and does not replace professional medical advice. Make sure to discuss your options with your healthcare provider.

About the Author:

In my new book, You Are More Than Your Body: 30+ Evidence-Based Strategies for Living Well With a Chronic Illness—By a Clinical Therapist Living With Cerebral Palsy, I offer a variety of coping skills that aim to increase acceptance, empower you to engage in values-based action, and enhance quality of life.

Jennifer Caspari, Ph.D., is an Associate Psychologist with Cognitive Behavior Therapy Associates of Denver (CBT Denver – cbtdenver.com). Dr. Caspari specializes in delivering evidence-based psychotherapies to adults with acute and chronic health issues, including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, sleep difficulty/insomnia, cancer, body image issues, disordered eating, and other health concerns (e.g., diabetes, tinnitus, adjustment to disability, etc.). She also provides evidence-based psychotherapies for stress/adjustment issues, grief, anxiety disorders, depression, mood disorders, relationship concerns, and trauma. Dr. Caspari has expertise in health psychology, helping clients to live full and meaningful lives with acute and/or chronic illness and chronic pain.

Her collaborative, warm, and empathetic approach focuses on enhancing functioning, the ability to engage in values-based behaviors, and overall quality of life. Dr. Caspari aims to support clients in gaining awareness of their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and to translate that insight into helpful and personally worthwhile changes in their daily lives. She views much of her role as helping clients enhance their cognitive, emotional, and behavioral flexibility to improve their well-being. Dr. Caspari has an extensive skill set in evidence-based psychotherapies with diverse populations. For example, she is trained in Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), CBT for Insomnia (CBT-I), CBT for Chronic Pain (CBT-CP), Behavioral Activation (BA), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), and Skills Training in Affective and Interpersonal Regulation (STAIR). She earned her undergraduate degree in psychology from American University and a master’s degree in community counseling from George Washington University. She earned her Ph.D. in counseling psychology from the University of Denver. Dr. Caspari is the author of You Are More Than Your Body: 30+ Evidence-Based Strategies for Living Well with Chronic Illness – By a Clinical Therapist Living with Cerebral Palsy, and has provided multiple trainings for mental health professionals, including a national course with PESI on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Chronic Pain.