Grit and Grace
- Surviving Breast Cancer
- 3 days ago
- 4 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
By Sara Corckran
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I thought grit would be enough. And in many ways, it was.
It got me to every appointment.
It helped me put one foot in front of the other on the hard days.
It reminded me to keep showing up for my life, even when I didn’t look or feel like myself.
But somewhere along the way, I realized grit could only take me so far.
What I really needed was grace.
I Used to Think Grit Was Everything
Years before cancer, I co-founded a company called Happy YOUniversity. Looking back, I wish we had chosen a different name.
It made an unspoken promise: “Come here, and you’ll be happier.”
If I could rename it now, it might be something less catchy, like Trailhead: Self-Compassion, Tools, and Awareness. Not as fun, I know. But it would better reflect what truly matters to me today.
Positive psychology was at the heart of that company, and I still believe in it. Those practices became my life raft during treatment. I now see them as the grit part of my story.
Grit Looks Like This
Picking up your journal when you’re exhausted and The Crown is calling your name.
Focusing on what’s going well when your life feels like it’s falling apart.
Walking into a room when you don’t feel like yourself.
Letting people in and sharing what is actually happening in your life.
I was raised on grit. Maybe you were too.
I grew up hearing:
“Happy hands are busy hands.”
“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”
We were raised to believe that being productive was the highest measure of a worthy day.
My brother cut lawns and saved every penny for a car we nicknamed The Rice Burner because of its exceptional gas mileage. I pitched in what I could, money saved from my first job at age 13 working at The Movie Company, checking in and out VHS tapes and restocking the candy shelves after school. I hope you remembered to “Be Kind and Rewind.” My older sister babysat the neighborhood. All three of us helped to raise our littlest sister who was 13 years younger. We stayed busy. We were doers.
And I was so good at doing that I forgot how to just be.
For most of my life, it felt more natural to complete a task than to sit down with a book.
Grace… Now That’s a Different Story
What is it, really?
It’s what you give your best friend when she accidentally stands you up for lunch.
It is how you move on when your husband didn’t exactly nail Mother’s Day.
It’s what you offer a friend eight weeks postpartum when her jeans still don’t fit.
We are so good at generously offering grace to others. But giving it to ourselves? For many of us, that is a non-starter. It’s hard to have grace when we’re so busy having grit.
It feels scary. What happens if I take my foot off the gas? And even scarier… if the car keeps going, then why have I been pedal to the metal? What if everything falls apart? Or maybe worse, if it doesn’t fall apart, then what is my value? What happens when I stop trying so hard to be happy and keep things normal when they are anything but? Will I ever get back up?
Where does grace fit in a life like that? Where does grace fit in for you?
What if grace is the missing piece to our lives? If you are on a quest to find more peace, more ease and less judgment and comparison, it’s worth exploring grace.
What if Grace Is the Missing Piece?
If you’re in treatment or recovery, you already know grit. But grace? That’s the part that lets you exhale.
Seven Ways to Weave Grace into Your Life
(Inspired by Brianna Wiest’s book This Is How You Heal)
Stop pretending you’re okay.
Try saying, “This is hard, and that’s okay.”
Stop fighting what is.
Surrender isn’t giving up, it’s loosening the grip.
Speak to yourself like someone worth rooting for.
If your self-talk is harsh, soften it.
Go at your own speed.
Healing has no deadline.
Sit still.
Five quiet minutes, no phone, no list, just breathe.
Honor the in-between.
You’re allowed to be a work in progress.
Listen for the whispers.
Grace is quiet, subtle, compassionate.
For me, grace began with a pause, a breath, listening to my body, and doing what it asked. It’s how I speak to myself now, with understanding, acceptance, and value.
A Question for You
Where in your life are you relying on grit when grace might serve you better?
Wishing you a little grace this week.
About the Author:
Sara Corckran has been on both sides of a cancer diagnosis—first as a caregiver, then as a patient. The first time, she didn’t have the tools to cope. The second time, she did—and it made all the difference. Now she shares what she’s learned in her book Grit and Grace and in her free weekly newsletter, The Heron’s Perspective. She believes that while pain is part of life, suffering doesn’t have to be the whole story.
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