Last weekend I went to my special place (the bathroom lol) to think and reflect. This ultimately resulted in soggy eyes as I read through a post on a support board that I follow. The discussion was legacy and how this mother of 3 young children wanted to capture the moments of her life in a time capsule. I read and follow a lot of postings but this one just really hit home and shook me to the core. My fellow breastie was no older than 35 and had received a similar diagnosis, which was stage 2 cancer. After following all of the standard protocols for treatment she was saddened to find that cancer had returned a year later but this time it was metastatic. For those of you not familiar with the term metastatic, it means that those pesky breast cancer cells migrated to another organ or bone. So just like that she was catapulted to a stage 4 diagnosis and was told to plan for worst case scenario. This all can be so overwhelming and hard to manage when I truly pause to think about the severity of my type of disease. To think that the first medical "something" I face is the one with the worse prognosis and highest recurrence. Now don't get me wrong 69% percent survival and 50% recurrence aren't terrible odds but when you look at other types of breast cancer and see 90% - 98% for both it can be disheartening. I try very hard to not live in the space that I sometimes visit that is plagued with worry and doubt. Why? Because I remember that I have survived 100% of my worse days and this will be no different. Not to mention I owe myself the opportunity to live which means I will fight this with all that I have in me. You know what also helps? You! The person taking the time to read this post, the ones who still send me texts and emails just to check in, the cards because anyone who knows me would know that I love to receive mail, and the prayers that I cannot hear but I know are coming in on my behalf. Thank you. This all keeps me focused on the prize which is beating this disease!
I am happy to report that my last round of tests showed that my tumor and lymph nodes have shrunk by 50%!! This is huge because I am still early in my treatment so plenty of time to see continued progress. Please keep sending those prayers, well wishes and thoughts for continual response to these treatments. I appreciate you all and thank you for keeping me lifted. I will rise up…
I'll rise up
Rise like the day
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I will rise a thousand times again
And we'll rise up
High like the waves
We'll rise up
In spite of the ache
We'll rise up
And we'll do it a thousand times again
~ Song by Andra Day
Thank you for allowing us to share your journal entry, Charmica! SBC loves you!
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