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Texting You

By Desiree LeRoy


Message alert

the scan showed four spots on my lungs

i have a biopsy tomorrow

he said short of a miracle

it is cancer

i just want to start the meds and be clear

i have a lot of fight in me

i replied, you do

Message alert

it’s weird

it blows air into the hospital gown

to keep me warm

i turned it off cause I was getting sweaty, lol

i deflated myself

you sent a picture, your head adorned in a hospital beret, your face scared but a familiar silly

Message alert

i’m nervous

but ready to know

once they have all the facts

they can attack

i love you

Message alert

i haven’t gotten the results back yet

but I promise to let you know ASAP

any pointers when you choreograph a dance?

i kind of scratched out a routine on the plane

i need to cut the song

i also need to work on my toe fall

you sent a picture of the mountains

Message alert

i got the biopsy results back

cancer

i have to keep fighting

also, can I teach my work friends the hip hop routine you taught me?

i gotta try and break it down

work it, girl

Message alert

i have a scan in a few weeks

to find out if the treatment

is working

until then

just keepin going

Message alert

hey

can you update the gofundme?

it needs to say

stage 4

metastatic breast cancer

it has now spread

to my lungs and brain

--

we met after your brain surgery

we sipped on chamomile tea

melting into your living room

laughing all afternoon

you asked about donating a box of shampoo to a local shelter

our last dinner

you shared travel plans

filling every month of the year

you could barely eat

but you still said mmm after every bite

tikka masala riches

i was scared

but your flight schedule held us both

our texts, sacred

i will never delete your contact

our exchanges of life, love, fear, and onward

your dance of messages, forever mine

herceptin autocorrected to perspective

and

ibrance autocorrected to vibrance

so I’m taking those with me

strength remains strength

and i refuse to type the word forget




Follow Desiree on Instagram: @somaticpoetry

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