By June Chapko Cancer doesn’t care if you’re young or old, Cancer doesn’t care at all. Feeding on the weak, even on the strong, Wreaking much havoc, sinister and cold. Cancer doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, Cancer doesn’t care at all. It takes what you have, and crushes you down, Stealing and robbing, still looking for more. Running rampant, making chaos of lives, Cancer doesn’t care at all. But blind to power, much greater and sure, A strength overcomes as earthward it dives. His hand reaches down, right down to our core, Our Father God cares, He cares for us all. He touches our soul, with a love divine, To make us survivors, forevermore.

By William Laferriere Do we not live our lives Hoping for a time when things get resolved? But does that time ever arrive? Isn’t that part of the irony? Like Occam’s razor That irony is that we stand on the ledge All of the time, And we are never truly comfortable. What should we do? What is right and what is wrong? What is rational vs. irrational? Are we always to be on the brink? I have previously maintained That the answer lies within, So go to the mirror, And acknowledge yourself. For you, and I, are Beautiful and seeking… And attempting to resolve Just what has happened.

By Dawn Oswald As I sit here waiting for the news in the doctor's office I stare out the window trying to occupy my mind I see the planes They look small, but mighty As I continue to watch I see one take off The Plane is flying free I want to be that Plane Free from anxiety Free from fear Free from all the worries Can I fly free? As I become that Plane I can see the water below me Water of hope I see the mountains Mountains of faith I see wildlife God's creation As I continue to fly it starts to rain The rain is hitting my wings, but I don't mind because it can hide my tears I see a rainbow, now two O, the beautiful colors I feel so free I have no worries As I continue to fly I am at peace, but its time to land Back to reality As my wheels touch the ground I feel grounded My mind is open Open to hear the results And to hear what my options are I feel more calm Calm from flying above Be that Plane Fly high High above all What goes up most come down, but we have control Take control of your life When life gets tough, fly Fly above to calm you down When you are ready, touch down Get grounded again Weigh your options Be that Plane when you need to be Fly free to clear your thoughts You can go right or left You can even turn around Back to home ground The doctor walks in, he said: "how are you feeling." I tell him, "I'm okay, just watching the Plane." He said: " they can be scary to watch, but I got your wings. I will guide you in the right direction, you will see. If we get lost we can turn around and try a new direction. See the Plane needs a pilot to fly. To fly free. Free from all the congestion. Let me be that pilot to guide you. To guide you in the right direction. I don't know all the directions, but I know we can keep flying until we find our way. Our way back to ground. Me and you. The Plane is the way."

By Susan Ksiezopolski Don't use your words to fill the missing pieces of me sit with me in silence let your compassion blanket me with fullness. Dance with me in the shadows behind the veil of indifference where together we find our harmony. --- Connect with Susan on Instagram: @writewell_2020

By Veronica Novy I am lost on a highway with no exit signs. I missed yesterday and didn't even realize it until today! I took one day off and nearly lost a piece of me. I asked a friend what day is it? His response was Wednesday. I remember bits and pieces of the day. Mostly I remember not remembering if that makes sense. Only to me probably. What has chemo done to me? What has radiation done to me? I went through the process and now it's my excuse for having a blurred mind. Can anybody out there hear me? As day turned to night, I felt the sun leave my body. The warmth and glow of a hot sunny day was slowly embracing someone else halfway across the world. When its day here, it's night somewhere else. The warmth of the sun left me, and the cool of the night began to embrace my soul. My body began to shiver as I tried to remember every minute of the last five months. It's an odd feeling to sit in your room and hear the water drip. It's an odd feeling when you try not to think of how cancer grows. The rest of my life is dedicated to forgetting about those cells that invaded my body. Life before and life after can only parallel each other in different time zones and dimensions. What can any of us do but survive. Another day in the life of a survivor. Not many will understand. All it takes is one person to listen!

By Heather Lockerman deep breath in, slowly release into the air. close my eyes and listen to life around me. hear the breeze, rattle the shades, smell the sea air, feel the sun's warmth on my body. another deep breath, let it all go. feel my son's maturing arms wrap me in a long hug, hear my sweet and sassy daughter softly whisper "love you" each night. listen, feel, zen. Connect with Heather on Instagram: @sunshinehopeheart

By Sara Kandler The jagged edge comes into view as I approach leaning backward as my feet pace forward through sparse grass need to see how steep how rough how treacherous this bluff dark red like raw meat its crags like teeth My chest clenches stomach churns blood burns A sandy path loops around this cliff and most sanguinely choose that route though they know deep down it goes nowhere they don’t probe rely on false hopes utter resignation Is it alright then to tackle this trial head on and who am I to try I turn and pulley my weight over the rock ledge with deepening dread lock with your gaze then fix mine straight ahead legs splayed against this palisade knees and elbows grinding gears me a swinging chime dangling in the wind sunset behind this sheer face mine a straining middle aged spider woman imagine me a superhero Finally touch down my legs give with fatigue into hard packed ground solid under my feet breathing now steady a normal heartbeat My numb fingers nudge loose the rappel rope to somewhat frame the empty cat dish in the corner throw pillows out of place kids running a little bit late and of this feat when I soared while descending time leaves but a trace

By Dawn Oswald Time How much time do we really need? Time for family Time for friends We wake up and go to work We work 5 to 7 days a week O, were does the time go? Do we spend too much time at work? Trying to save money for that perfect vacation Vacation with the family Do we spend that time doing what we dreamed of? Time There is never enough time We should try to spend more time with the ones we love Take that vacation Trust me I know I worked 2 jobs and volunteered at another I stayed busy working, but now I know work can wait Your important Your family is important Does your work really care about you? I do You need to take care of you Time for you Time for family Time to enjoy life Time to call a friend Time to communicate Time to relax Buy that RV or boat Don’t wait Time is not waiting for you When is that perfect time? Go play Leisure is important too Time to play Time to visit Time to laugh and love Time to remember Time to mark off that bucket list Time to volunteer your time Time to turn that TV off and do something Time to bake a cake with your children Make layers of flavors Just like your life Full of brightness So let it shine Time for me and you

By Dawn Oswald It’s still me The sweet, loving, caring person I have always been I just have cancer now I know I am terminal, but aren’t we all? We were born, we live, and then we die Die from what? I just happen to know what I am dying from Breast cancer I did not choose it It chose me to be stage 4, but it is still me Why are you so distant? Why don’t you call or text? Is it so hard to communicate? It’s been years I miss you I think about you often, but it is getting less, because you don’t answer me anymore What did I do? Is it because I have cancer? We were close, but now distant I don’t understand it Can you explain why? I was always there for you O, were did you go? Was it something I said? Or is it just because I have cancer? I could really use a friend or 2 Or even that family member that disappeared too I’m not sure if I did anything Can we talk? Can we be friends again? Can I have my family back? I did nothing wrong I only have cancer Yes, it’s a death wish, but I wish nothing more for my friend and my family to be here for me as I am here for you My door is always open for you For I have already forgiven you Don’t regret it when I am gone Just pick up the phone I am still me I am still waiting for you Maybe we will cross paths again Whether it be here or in heaven I will be waiting for you For I am still me, your friend and your family

By Dawn Oswald Going home Back to my beautiful blue waves O, how I love how the ocean sounds The birds flying above I just love the Seagulls, the sounds they make When I hear them, I will feel so happy Reminds me of our family vacations in Canada There I can sit on my porch and watch the boats go by Stare at my water of peace Back to the heat Away from the cold I can finally thaw out My bones can stop hurting I can be by my friends and family Going home to my home That sounds lovely No one else’s home My home I can do what I want to it Sure, it’s going to be hot, but I will have AC Away from being afraid of being attack by wildlife The bears and moose, but there were no snakes I will miss Alaska It is beautiful and fishing is great The mountains are so beautiful I did get sick on the boat, but I still fished like a champion Don’t worry Alaska, I will be back I am sure I will run out of fish and bear meat Would you rather be cold or hot? Back to enjoying my walks on the beach, but I did not miss all that sand How do you get sand everywhere? I mean everywhere If I get to hot, I can just jump in the water Going home finally, but for how long? We might adventure again Wait and see But for now, I am going home

By Heather Lockerman i wake groggy and hot take a few shallow breaths the air is stagnant and heavy as if the weight of the world is alive in my bedroom my body is yet again on fire from the inside out i quietly slip to the cool carpet and check the time it's always the same; bathroom, fix the sheets, lay down and ask myself "am i cooler now?" the answer ... never at midnight

By Jill Rackham In October 2020 my life totally changed forever, I wondered how on earth I would hold it together. Following being prodded, poked, scanned and investigated, Breast cancer was confirmed and then life became much more complicated. Cancer, surely this was not supposed to happen to me, I thought I was too young for this at age forty three. Next came invasive surgery, a part of me was taken. All alone in hospital. Covid made sure visitors were forsaken. Observing eyes, it's all I could see, as everyone was wearing a mask around me. A waiting game now, how far had my cancer spread, This news became a huge moment of dread... However I was silently cheering after my fear, As good news was given, my lymph nodes were clear. Treatment came next with side effects galore, but at least the cancer was inside me no more. Then another shock - an unexpected positive genetics result, I felt life tumbling beyond my control just like a somersault. Thrown into chaos again as my chance of cancer returning became higher, My heart sank, my face and body felt like they were on fire. "You need more surgery again", they said, "We must do all we can to put this cancer to bed". And so more surgery happened with complications this time, More hospital visits followed, this life just didn't feel like mine. Thoughts overflowing in my busy mind, What a huge whirlwind of a time. Time has moved on and 4 lots of surgery is now in the past, Treatment continues and I hold hope the side effects won't last. So much has happened, I can hardly believe it's to be, But here I am, a newer version of me. And so onwards and upwards in life I now will hopefully go, Determined to keep smiling and simply go with the flow. -- Connect with Jill and read more of her poetry on Instagram: @poems_to_help_you_through

By William Laferriere Swimming at dusk in an exhilarating, refreshing Atlantic Owning one’s body, in perfect harmony with the now. Multiple daily hikes in very high heat So many Trails Penobscot, Pemetic, Sargent, Bald, Cadillac and more All are Bony, proffering a variety of Boulders and Roots Perhaps awaiting an unsuspecting foot, Short but steep, Just another mile or so to go Watching a puppy hopping up up up, happy as a Billy goat Observing a spirited Bald Eagle, nest a mile high sitting on two chicks, She too takes Ice cold dips into the ocean, In search of nourishment for the little ones Fires nightly, to soothe one’s soul and procure Post Covid Camping friendships for life

By William Laferriere We talk with a Dear Friend (Alone, & hoping that a recent setback is tick related - imagine wishing for that) She lives all alone, in her own little home, a short scenic stroll to the sea. She’s concerned that a potential Necrosis* or even a tick related Anaplasmosis** may be a sign of things to come. Sickly Weak Paranoid Unable to move without tremendous effort Not religious, but existentially spiritual, calling out from a floored fetal position - for her Mom, Evincing her Gaelic Ancestry Mortally fearful that she’ll pass and no one will come looking. Her delirium continues, Her cat survives by consuming her exhausted, cancer ridden body Just then a vision, an epiphany, a comprehensible voice in a dream calls out “Thy will be done” Physical Recovery occurs within days Thought conceptualization returns to focus on the improbable now Alive, Scared and Still Alone -- Note 1. Necrosis is a cell tissue generated during an injury. Ultimately, it is a death tissue as formed and has no reverse action. With the impact of injury to the skin or bone, the amount of blood supply will reduce gradually. Due to the lack of blood supply, necrosis tissues were formed. The death of cells is caused by noxious stimuli. The agents of noxious stimuli are - bacteria parasites viruses fungi The formation of necrosis is due to various reasons. The major reasons are: oxygen deprivation or hypoxia, and extreme environmental conditions such as heat, radiation, or exposure to ultraviolet irradiation, etc. Note 2. Anaplasmosis is a disease caused by the bacterium Anaplasma phagocytophilum. These bacteria are spread to people by tick bites primarily from the blacklegged tick (Ixodes scapularis) and the western blacklegged tick (Ixodes pacificus). People with anaplasmosis will often have fever, headache, chills, and muscle aches. Doxycycline is the drug of choice for adults and children of all ages with anaplasmosis. (https:/ www.cdc.gov )

By Heather Lockerman Life for me is millions of mini snapshots on a continuous loop through my heart and mind. Life for me is being surrounded by caring and loyal friends, they are rays of sunshine on the darkest of days. Life for me is a painting of a sunny day at the beach, storm clouds looming in the distance. Life for me is cherished.

By Jill Rackham Life changed more than I imagined it ever would on this day. When I heard the word 'cancer,' I couldn't focus and didn't know what to say. My mind went blank, my body became tense and my heart almost boomed out of my chest. I looked at the nurse and consultant, as I tried to listen to what would happen next. My precious husband was lost for words I was thankful he was with me. I knew I was lucky as in covid times this wasn't always allowed to be. Walking out of the hospital I had a million things rushing through my mind. I knew from this moment though, that I was leaving my old life behind. Cancer, getting through the surgery and treatment would be my main focus now. I just wanted to close my eyes, be somewhere else, do anything to not let this happen some how. Telling my children was the hardest conversation I've ever had. As a mum their pain is your pain, it all felt so very sad. Letting my mum and sisters know this news had to happen too. My body was shaking as this was something I longed not to have to do. I began to tell more family and closest friends of the turmoil my life had become. The support I received was overwhelmingly kind and certainly helped me feel a little less numb. Sleep became scarce and nights felt so lonely from this moment on. My mind was such a jumble, flashbacks of this news is still something I can still always rely on. But time has moved on as surgery is now behind me, with hormone treatment continuing. Cancer is never far from my thoughts, but I'm learning how to stop these thoughts from spiraling. I'm not sure I'll ever forget my cancer diagnosis day, I get shivers down my spine every time that date passes my way. As time goes on hopefully this day will no longer be such a strong memory. And instead my focus now is having happy times with my friends and family. -- Connect with Jill and read more of her poetry on Instagram: @poems_to_help_you_through

By Brookshire Mcdonald Whatever journey Comes your way May you grasp love, strength, and hope Each day. Some days may be easy And others not so You will be in our hearts To soften the blow. Remember we have become "sisters" Not by choice, But continue to share experiences Through zoom voice. Shared fears and progress Can lighten feelings we’ve felt; So we won’t feel alone On the journey we’ve been dealt. Remember the hugs Dawn O. Taught us to do; Cross arms, wiggle fingers, and feel all the hugs Being sent to you. May this luggage tag With pink ribbon motto; Remind you your “sisters” are with you Wherever you go! Peaceful travels Our sweet Brookshire gave the SBC Retreat Attendees her powerful poem, a luggage tag with the breast cancer ribbon logo, and a breast cancer pen.

By Sara Kandler They had the ruby red grapefruit piled high in those scratchy mesh bags each orb heavy plump with juice that would geyser when pierced then groove the back of my tongue I reached out my hand my mouth watering Not those You said Jury’s still out I countered You: Still… (Me: did I forget my pill?) I watched you steer our oversized cart toward organic dairy and loved you even more from the harsh florescent lights above to the shiny grey industrial floor of that teeming superstore

By Julie Gaughan Spink, a breast cancer survivor Written for a friend who is struggling after treatment for breast cancer I'm me, still me So why do I feel this way? I want to be like I was before When I could laugh and sing and play Having one boob makes me feel a freak But that feeling changes week on week I'm me, still me Deep inside, behind the mask Like a volcano ready to erupt Where nobody thinks to even ask How are you really feeling? Not just today Let it all out - it's time to play! I'm me, still me Worrying myself sick about how I look Why's that you ask? I don't actually know I want to be ME - me the Mam, lover and cook Confidence is everything, but where did it go? Along with my boob I think - goodness only knows I need help to stop this fight It's with me all day long All day and night Feeling sorry for myself and crying non-stop Isn't what I expected when I had the op I expected it to be hard But now I feel like a lump of lard I feel like crap so I go for a nap Maybe I'll feel fine Just give me some time I'm not a freak! It's all in my head The old me has gone and I'm full of dread The process is slow but I know I'll be OK Just wait for me to emerge although it'll take more than a day I'm me, still me Thank you for sharing your powerful piece with us, Julie! Connect with Julie on Facebook !

By Meagan Miraldi A self-portrait by Meagan I meet her here, this unfamiliar version of myself, at the point of no return “She is so many things I am not,” I think to myself, and yet here she is, in front of me, moving forward into the unknown with her head held high. There are moments where I do not want to go with her, I dig my feet into the ground and refuse to take her hand, desperate to stay where I am. I did not choose to go with her, and yet as life goes, sometimes we do not get to choose our path. I must take her hand and follow her wherever she takes me, trusting that she knows the way, and that all will be okay. There are moments where I feel we are one, morphed together, however fleeting. There are moments where I feel like a limp body being dragged along behind her, admitting defeat out of sheer exhaustion. There are moments when I try to escape her grip, thinking I can sneak away without her noticing and make it back to the life I know and miss dearly, unscathed, and when I do, she gently guides me back, holds me in her arms, and reassured me that although it doesn’t feel like it, I am safe with her. As time passes, it becomes more and more clear that the only choice I have is to follow her lead and trust. Trust that she knows the way, trust that I am safe, and trust that one day I will be able to accept, without question, that this strong, fearless being standing in front of me, is in fact ME. Thank you for sharing your powerful piece with us, Meagan! Connect with Meagan on Instagram: @meggssbenedict & @breastcancermentalhealth Related Poems You Will Love I Bloom With Grace , by S helley Caruso I Saw Love , by J une Chapko After Cancer Me , by M eagan Miraldi Run , by Sara Kandler Cloudy , by Heather Lockerman I'm Still Me , by Julie Gaughan Spink Truth at the time of a breast cancer Dx by William Laferriere

By Pooja Jain Step out, Look around, Do you see a tree? Your body is like that tree. So many parts, ever-changing looks. Keep mindful breathing as strong roots, we will thrive. Zooming every Thursday with the Surviving Breast Cancer group helps me recharge. We talk, listen, cry and laugh at what Cancer has brought in our lives. Yes, we breathe together. The group has bloomed on Zoom - we party hard at Summer Soiree’, we do Book Club, Art therapy, Yoga, Expressive writing to name a few. Step out and listen to podcast- Breast Cancer Conversations with our own Laura Carfang. Know what is happening in the Cancer World. Yes, your doctor will think how come your Chemo brain is so sharp. Dear friend, Tell yourself…I AM that tree. Pluck the flowers, cut the branches…and the tree tries to grow again. You cut the tree itself, it gives space for something new to be bloom. Yes, this is BEGINNER’S MIND!

By Heather Nichols This unwelcome guest A karmic visitor Messenger She makes her home Within my bosom Determined She dances there Makes herself known Brazen Whispers her fear Worry a companion Rumination Ushers in overwhelm Flooded by love Resilience She accepts pain Bone and body Endurance She wilts away Her message received Acceptance

By Heather Nichols Impatient is my mind as I look toward the cloud swept sky I want to dance and play but it pins me down, forcing me to stay Trying to move is slow how many more days of this follow? The lesson is surrender but not sure how long I can endure Too heavy my limbs to lift so quickly my mind it drifts For rest now my healing knowing someday I will be feeling Stronger.

By Heather Lockerman lattes all around half cafe, non-fat, two shots, black cold brew, mocha, yum

By Shelley Caruso Original artwork by Shelley entitled, 'Wherever life plants you, bloom with grace' I tell myself everyday I’m not a victim, but a victor. I tell myself I was not robbed from something, but saved from something. I tell myself this too shall pass, but have a fear of what will not pass by me again. I tell myself these tears are only for a time, but sometimes time is timeless… I always pull myself up, but I seem too leave a little piece of me behind. My journey has not been easy, but it has made my choice easier too just be happy… Living one day at a time, making me happy…