TRANSCRIPTION: Laura Carfang 00:03 Hello and welcome to breast cancer conversations podcast brought to you by surviving breast cancer dashboard. I am Laura Carfang breast cancer survivor and founder of surviving breast cancer dashboard, a nonprofit organization providing community education and resources to empower those diagnosed with breast cancer and their caregivers from day one and beyond. Hello, everybody and welcome back to breast cancer conversations. It is so nice to be speaking with all of you today. If this is your first time tuning in, welcome. It's so nice to have you here. Please be sure to subscribe. We release our podcast once a week usually on Mondays so you can always have something to look forward to as we begin our week together. Before we jump into today's conversation, I just want to give a quick shout out to all of the great amazing resources we have on our website surviving breast cancer.org. All of our podcast listeners are invited to join us on Thursday nights for our Thursday night drivers meetup. We meet on zoom every Thursday at 7pm. Eastern you can RSVP from our website, and a zoom link will be emailed to you. We also send out weekly newsletters on Mondays and Fridays. We have an every other Sunday metastatic breast cancer series that we produce, as well as a once a month breast cancer book club that we host. The best part about the book club is that we don't read any books that have to do with cancer. It's pure escapism, a lot of fun. And we meet on the first Sunday of every month. You can check out what book we're reading again on our website. Today on the podcast, we are speaking with Karla who is not new to breast cancer conversations. She actually provided us with a beautiful 45 minute long episode where she shares with us everything she knows with regards to nutrition education around clean eating and living with metastatic breast cancer so I'll link to that full episode below. However, I wanted to pull out a short excerpt from that longer series because we want to focus on Phyto estrogens. If I breast cancer is ER positive, it can be very confusing to understand if we should be avoiding soy eating soy products, avoiding Phyto-estrogens etc. I am so excited to have Karla back on the episode to help us answer some of these questions. Welcome to the conversation. Karla Mans Giroux 02:17 Now let's talk about Phyto estrogens and breast cancer and Laura and I talked a little bit about this ahead of time and I do like to share this information and it is controversial. But there are studies that show of course you'll always find on any topic study that's forward a study that's against but Phyto estrogens are plant based compounds that mimic estrogen because their chemical structure is very similar to that of estrogen from the body. They have been found to be beneficial in combating symptoms and conditions caused by estrogen deficiency. Therefore, this may be a particular benefit to pre and post-menopausal women who are having their hot flashes. Phyto-estrogens may also play a role in fighting cancer. However, it is still controversial and more research is absolutely needed to understand this. Unfortunately, they do not spend a lot of time and money on researching something that can't be patented. But there we are. There are studies that have revealed that high consumption of soy products is associated with low incidences of whore hormone dependent cancers, including breast and prostate. Soybeans contain the large amounts of isoflavones. Previously, it's been demonstrated that genistein, one of the predominant soy isoflavones can inhibit several steps involved in carcinogenesis. So it can inhibit the development of cancer. It is suggested that genestein possesses mechanisms of action, including inhibition and modulation of different signaling pathways associated with the growth of cancer cells. Moreover, genestein is also a potent inhibitor of angiogenesis. Uncontrolled angiogenesis is considered a key step in cancer growth, invasion and metastasis. I see Dr. Keith Block of the Block Center for Integrative Cancer Treatment in the Chicago area. I've talked to Dr. Block many times about soy and breast cancer and fighter estrogens and breast cancer. Dr. Block has told me that processed soy foods such as soy burgers typically contain very low amounts of that genestein and other soy items such as miso and soy sauce contain even less. In fact, he says a whole bottle of soy sauce contains only about six or seven milligrams of isoflavones, which would have no effect at all on breast cells, though it would be quite a lot of salt. So Dr. Bullock counsels that there is no need to pass on the tofu or the tempeh, so long as you're eating soy foods in moderation, just like anything else, and be sure your soy is non GMO. Dr. Block also stated in a 2016 article that he wrote, he stated in 2016, the studies suggested that eating moderate amounts of soy foods is safe for breast cancer survivors. In fact, in studies conducted by Dr. Anna H. Wu, and others at the University of Southern California, show that women who consume approximately one to two servings of soy food each day are not isolated soy supplements, you want to avoid those. But if you eat soy food each day, you actually have a reduced risk of breast cancer recurrence, or being diagnosed with the disease. And moreover, these studies, there were three studies in China and two in the US that provided further evidence that women who ate more soy have better survival after breast cancer diagnosis than those who ate the least soy. Laura Carfang 06:20 Karla, as always, this has been so helpful, I am definitely going to look on PubMed, and I will link to some of these studies in the show notes below so that our readers and listeners will have access to this information. Thank you again, for everything that you do for our breast cancer community. It is always a pleasure having you on the podcast. Thank you for tuning in and listen to our podcast. If you would like to find out more about our organization and upcoming events and ways to connect. You can find out more by visiting our website at surviving breast cancer.org. And we'd like to acknowledge that all of the information on our podcast is from personal experiences and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. You should always consult your medical care team. If you're looking for specific topics or would like to be a guest on our show, feel free to contact me directly at Laura at surviving breast cancer.org. And of course, we have a couple social media handles you can follow us that as well. For example, surviving breast cancer org all one word, as well as our podcast specifically breast cancer conversations. Until next time, keep on thriving.

Originally published by Dependable Cleaners here . In honor of October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month Dependable Cleaners wanted to put the spotlight on an entrepreneur making strides to support those who are and have faced a breast cancer diagnosis. So here we are! The spotlight is turned inward so here we go! Laura Carfang started SurvivingBreastCancer.org as a platform to provide support, education, and a community for those that have been diagnosed and their caregivers. Laura took her personal journey with breast cancer and turned it into a way to inspire, encourage and support others. As Executive Director she has set out a vision and is a strong believer that everyone’s voice should be heard. We spoke with Laura to learn more about her journey and her vision for SurvivingBreastCancer.org How can we offer support and compassion to both individuals fighting a breast cancer diagnosis and survivors of breast cancer? There are various and sundry ways family, friends, and caregivers can offer support to those diagnosed with breast cancer. I think the most important thing to keep in mind is that everyone is different, so take the time to ask the person what would be helpful to them. You may think it is helpful to bring over food, but a person diagnosed with breast cancer may have a particular aversion to certain foods due to the side effects of the chemotherapy; some people lose their taste buds, others may develop mouth sores – making meals a challenge and a reminder that they are ill. One thing I noticed is that everyone has an opinion when it comes to your health care. Unless the person with breast cancer is asking you to recommend a doctor, or specific advice, sometimes these options are better kept to yourself. Finally, going back to the first point, I think it is also important to ask the person what their boundaries are, how open they want to be about their diagnosis, I.e., which family members get all of the details and which people get the high-level updates. In my experience, my boyfriend and caregiver came to all of my appointments and he was the one family members were able to call and ask questions allowing me to catch up on much needed rest.   What are some key initiatives SurvivingBreastCancer.org is working on this coming year? We have some exciting plans coming up this year. We are transiting to more of a virtual platform to enable our organization to help as many people as possible. Secondly, we are seeking grants, corporate sponsorships and cause related marketing alliances that will enable us to work full-time for the non-profit. Was there a specific moment in your breast cancer journey that set the stage for what you wanted the mission of your organization to be? Absolutely! Living in Boston, one of the world’s great health care Meccas, and being a major metropolitan city, I thought it was going to be easy to find other women, similarly diagnosed with breast cancer and make connections. I honestly thought that if I typed into google “breast cancer survivors in Boston” I would find a thriving community ready to connect and share their experiences. In hindsight, I guess I was looking for a breast cancer mentor so to speak. Boston offers several support groups and forums which are great resources, but they are usually spearheaded by the hospitals. However, if you are working, it is hard to attend weekday afternoon sessions. It was through my own experience navigating breast cancer that I launched my 501(c)(3) non-profit, Survivingbreastcancer.org . I wanted to create a virtual platform that provides community, education and resources for those diagnosed with breast cancer and their caregivers. A breast cancer diagnosis does not end when treatment ends, there is a lot of aftermath that comes with it. If you are diagnosed with early stage breast cancer, you are never truly 100% “Cancer Free.” Oncologists use the term “No Evidence of Disease” or “NED”. There is always a lingering fear that the breast cancer may return. That is where our organization comes into play. We are there when your medical care team says they will see you in 12 weeks, or 6 months or next year, and PTSD slowly creeps into the fabric of your life. This is when the community and support systems are needed the most. Tell us about a mentor who has been influential to you as a leader. I have to say that my mom and dad have been my biggest mentors and influential leaders. They are my rock! I am very fortunate to be very close with my family. My father started his own business in the financial industry 35 years ago, so in a sense I’ve grown up around entrepreneurship. From a young age I was exposed to the dedication and hard work that goes into running a business and that the hours are hardly 9-5. My mother works in the healthcare sector. I remember early on, she would find opportunities to educate her patients and their families. She incorporates nutrition and lifestyle medicine in her approach making it easy for her clients to understand the complexities associated with illness, food allergies, and autism, for example. She now leads the Carol Carfang Nursing and Healthcare Ethics conference where leaders, educators, and philosophers come together to discuss the most pressing issues in the field. I guess you can say, it’s in my genes and I couldn’t be more grateful for the mentorship and leadership I receive from my parents.   Do you have any tips for entrepreneurs to help them maintain a healthy work/life habit? Most entrepreneurs will tell you that you have to have an unwavering passion for and belief in the work you are doing. There are times when entrepreneurship can be quite lonely. There are moments of doubt and insecurity along the way. However, it is in those moments that I remind myself, “if it were easy to put your life and souls’ work out there to be a success, then everyone would do it.” It takes a specific mindset and drive to be willing to take chances, to be judged (because everyone has an opinion), and to risk failure and still persevere, that distinguishes an entrepreneur. The work/life balance is a challenge and it comes down to prioritization. A simple black and white question I ask myself is, will this give me joy, will this help me get from point A to point B. And if the answer is “yes”, then it is worth doing. If the answer is “no”, then I move along to the next thing.  The other technique that I use is dedicating one day a week for “me-time”. I have chosen Monday as that day where I do not book meetings, schedule podcasts, or work on blog posts. For me this is a guaranteed day where I can find a yoga class, go for a run, grab a dinner with girlfriends, or simply sit on the couch in pj’s and scroll through social media posts. Whatever you need to do to unwind, relax and refresh, it’s important to carve out that time each week. In the work that I do running a non-profit, I am reminded that it is not a race but a marathon. Like all non-profits, we are called to solve some of the world’s most challenging problems. We are not going to cure breast cancer tomorrow. However, if we can help one person, move the needle one point, and provide support, education and community to those diagnosed with this disease, then I know we are going in the right direction. Thank you Dependable Cleaners for publishing our story and supporting breast cancer awareness, programing, and resources. Want to learn more about Laura's story, here are some additional features: Channel 7 News & On the Podcast

Position: Social Media Manager - Marketing and Community (Instagram, Facebook, Twitter) Hours per week: 10-20, Position is remote, unpaid, part-time. Job Summary: Our growing non-profit, which is at the intersection of health care, technology, and customer service, would like to bring on a Social Media Manager. The successful candidate will be a driven, ambitious, creative, individual looking to develop and execute a digital marketing strategy with the end goal of increasing followers and engagement across multichannel platforms. We offer a flexible schedule, extensive training, and mentorship, as well as the opportunity to experience the industry from the inside and valuable work experience. Responsibilities and Duties: · Responsible for managing the organizations online social media accounts · Responsible for growing followers, engagement, and collecting email addresses. · Engage with health care professionals and those diagnosed with breast cancer via the various platforms platform · Engage and develop community via our online networks · Promote webinars, events and programs · Solicit blogs, stories, and content for our website and newsletter · Enhance our digital presence on social media while maintaining our brand and voice · Create graphics and content Team Player: · Take on additional tasks and responsibility as needed Qualifications and Skills: · Must be passionate about our cause and our work Must be reliable and able to maintain confidentiality Must have strong public speaking skills and enjoy meeting new people Excellent written and verbal communication skills Self-directed and able to work without supervision Energetic and eager to tackle new projects and ideas · Must be 18 years or older How to Apply Please send cover letter, resume and three references to William@survivingbreastcancer.org

Position: Content Writer Hours per week: 10-20, position is remote, unpaid, part-time. Job Summary: Our growing non-profit, which is at the intersection of health care, technology, and customer service, would like to bring on a Content Writer Intern for a semester with the option of extending. The successful candidate be a driven, ambitious, creative, individual looking to learn on the job and develop skills to excel and create a career in communications, digital media, content marketing, advocacy, and public health. We offer a flexible schedule working remotely, extensive training, and mentorship, as well as the opportunity to experience the industry from the inside while gaining valuable work experience. Responsibilities and Duties: · Responsible for researching health care topics, gathering content and writing articles for publication on our website and for distribution in our weekly newsletter. · Research trending and hot topics related to breast cancer, treatment, and advocacy · Create content for feature landing pages · Collaborate with social media teams to disseminate content and grow survivingbreastcancer.org’s brand and subscriber list. Team Player: · Take on additional tasks and responsibility as needed Qualifications and Skills: · Must enjoy writing and have strong writing, communication and proof reading skills. · Must be passionate about our cause and our work Must be reliable and able to maintain confidentiality · Enthusiastic about health care, advocacy, and promoting breast cancer awareness Self-directed and able to work without supervision Energetic and eager to tackle new projects and ideas · Must be 18 years or older How to Apply Please send cover letter, resume and writing sample to William@survivingbreastcancer.org

Position: Podcast Communications Intern (Breast Cancer Conversations Podcast) Hours per week: 10-20, Position is remote, unpaid, part-time. Job Summary: Our growing non-profit, which is at the intersection of health care, technology, and customer service, would like to bring on a Marketing and Communication’s Intern. The successful candidate will be a driven, ambitious, creative, individual looking to learn on the job and develop skills to excel and create a career in communications, digital media, content marketing, advocacy and public health. We offer a flexible schedule working remotely, extensive training, and mentorship, as well as the opportunity to experience the industry from the inside and valuable work experience. Responsibilities and Duties: · Responsible for the post production of our podcasts which include: o Developing and writing the show notes for weekly episodes o Reviewing and editing transcriptions of weekly podcast episodes o Uploading and publishing podcasts o Creating and disseminating soundbites o Creating graphics and cover art for each episode o Incorporating Search Engine Optimization strategies to ensure our content gets found on google · Collaborate with other interns and volunteers to ensure the podcasts are published to the website, queued up for the weekly newsletter, and promoted on social media outlets Team Player: · Take on additional tasks and responsibility as needed Qualifications and Skills: · Must enjoy writing and have strong writing, communication and proof reading skills. · Must be passionate about our cause and our work Must be reliable, meet weekly deadlines, and able to maintain confidentiality · Enthusiastic about health care, advocacy, and promoting breast cancer awareness Self-directed and able to work without supervision Energetic and eager to tackle new projects and ideas · Must be 18 years or older How to Apply Please send cover letter, resume and three references to William@survivingbreastcancer.org

Position: Video Editing & Communications Intern (YouTube) Hours per week: Minimum of 10 hours per week Job Summary: Our growing non-profit, which is at the intersection of health care, technology, and customer service, would like to bring on a Marketing and Communication’s Intern for a semester with the option for renewal. The successful candidate will be a driven, ambitious, creative, individual looking to learn on the job and develop skills to excel and create a career in communications, digital media, content marketing, advocacy and public health. We offer a flexible schedule working remotely, extensive training, and mentorship, as well as the opportunity to experience the industry from the inside and valuable work experience. Responsibilities and Duties: · Responsible for the post production of our webinar · Cut, edit, and create videos for our YouTube channel. · Developing and writing the show notes for weekly webinars · Support the growth strategy and community building strategy of our YouTube channel · Creating and disseminating soundbites · Incorporating Search Engine Optimization strategies to ensure our content gets found on google and on YouTube · Collaborate with other interns and volunteers to ensure the Webinars are published to the website, queued up for the weekly newsletter, and promoted on social media outlets Team Player: · Take on additional tasks and responsibility as needed Qualifications and Skills: · Must enjoy writing and have strong writing, communication and proof reading skills. · Must have a basic background in video editing · Must be passionate about our cause and our work Must be reliable, meet weekly deadlines, and able to maintain confidentiality · Enthusiastic about health care, advocacy, and promoting breast cancer awareness Self-directed and able to work without supervision Energetic and eager to tackle new projects and ideas · Must be 18 years or older How to Apply Please send cover letter, resume and three references to William@survivingbreastcancer.org Position is remote, unpaid, part-time.

Position: Program Manager Hours per week: 10-20 Position is remote, unpaid, part-time. Job Summary: Our growing non-profit, which is at the intersection of health care, technology, and customer service, would like to bring on a Program Manager. The successful candidate will be a driven, ambitious, creative, individual looking to learn on the job and develop skills to excel and create a career in community engagement, sales, healthcare, and advocacy. We offer a flexible schedule, extensive training, and mentorship, as well as the opportunity to experience the industry from the inside and valuable work experience. Responsibilities and Duties: · Responsible for the overall growth and sustainability of a portfolio of programs · Establish partnerships with national hospitals and community health centers · Create and disseminate educational content, brochures, and flyers · Promote program events and webinars with the goal of increasing participation and engagement. Team Player: · Take on additional tasks and responsibility as needed Qualifications and Skills: · Must be passionate about our cause and our work Must be reliable and able to maintain confidentiality Must have strong public speaking skills and enjoy meeting new people Excellent written and verbal communication skills Self-directed and able to work without supervision Energetic and eager to tackle new projects and ideas · Must be 18 years or older How to Apply Please send cover letter, resume and three references to William@survivingbreastcancer.org

Position: Program Manager Hours per week: 10-20 Position is remote, unpaid, part-time. Job Summary: Our growing non-profit, which is at the intersection of health care, technology, and customer service, would like to bring on a Program Manager. The successful candidate will be a driven, ambitious, creative, individual looking to learn on the job and develop skills to excel and create a career in community engagement, sales, healthcare, and advocacy. We offer a flexible schedule, extensive training, and mentorship, as well as the opportunity to experience the industry from the inside and valuable work experience. Responsibilities and Duties: · Responsible for the growth and sustainability our online communities · Engage with community members and foster a supportive online network Team Player: · Take on additional tasks and responsibility as needed Qualifications and Skills: · Must be passionate about our cause and our work Must be reliable and able to maintain confidentiality Must have strong public speaking skills and enjoy meeting new people Excellent written and verbal communication skills Self-directed and able to work without supervision Energetic and eager to tackle new projects and ideas · Must be 18 years or older How to Apply Please send cover letter, resume and three references to William@survivingbreastcancer.org

Position: Publications - Marketing & Communications Intern Weekly Newsletters and #FeatureFridays Hours per week: 10-20, position is remote, unpaid, part-time. Job Summary: Our growing non-profit, which is at the intersection of health care, technology, and customer service, would like to bring on a Marketing and Communication’s Intern for a semester with the option of extending. The successful candidate be a driven, ambitious, creative, individual looking to learn on the job and develop skills to excel and create a career in communications, digital media, content marketing, advocacy and public health, and business development. We offer a flexible schedule working remotely, extensive training, and mentorship, as well as the opportunity to experience the industry from the inside while gaining valuable work experience. Responsibilities and Duties: Digital Publications · Responsible for researching topics, gathering content, writing, and distribution of our weekly Friday Feature and Monday Newsletters considering our client’s needs, interests, and hot topics in the health care/breast cancer field. · Responsible for the solicitation, maintenance and delivery of our blog, and breast cancer survivor stories series. · Assist with capturing and analyzing email campaign metrics · Collaborate with social media teams to disseminate content and grow survivingbreastcancer.org’s brand and subscriber list. Team Player: · Take on additional tasks and responsibility as needed Qualifications and Skills: · Must enjoy writing and have strong writing, communication and proof reading skills. · Must be passionate about our cause and our work Must be reliable and able to maintain confidentiality · Enthusiastic about health care, advocacy, and promoting breast cancer awareness Self-directed and able to work without supervision Energetic and eager to tackle new projects and ideas · Must be 18 years or older How to Apply Please send cover letter, resume and writing sample to William@survivingbreastcancer.org

By Veronica Novy When you look at me What do you see? If you could see my inner being what do you think it would look like? I am a fire, I am a flame There has been a torch within me that keeps my fire burning When I think of me, I will tell you what I see I will tell you what I want to be I am lovely to my own eyes I have journeyed to a new level of existence I am beauty, I am desire I can light the fire and put out the flame I am a woman who has struggled for centuries In a world full of images My beauty is self contained and has been locked up for centuries Silently waiting to erupt and escape to freedom The image revealed to the world is sheer strength, noble and righteous The woman that I wish to be in fact in reality has always been here She now seeks an avenue, a pathway, a road that will lead her to the truth Today, this woman is unafraid yet she still trembles with an unknown fear Give her a reason to go on and questions her own existence as well as the norms of culture and society And images What was yesterday, in fact is not true today Yesterdays truth will not lead us to tomorrow The whispers, the echoes, the dreams, and the voices of my sisters past and present Are beggin’ you to come listen And make new choices for tomorrow The woman today is ready for the challenge of today and tomorrow The image of a Woman My image is Black Strong Real Undeniable and beautiful I am free What you see What you feel What you sense what you hear are only fragments which encompass her whole body The image is a total reflection And that reflection is me!!!

By Veronica Novy Here Alone I Sit In My Room Pondering the thoughts of yesterday And wondering how I have existed On the verge of life for so long Here I sit waiting Asking for someone to hear my voice Here I sit and there is nothing left To say to anyone anymore Here Alone I Sit Thinking about my own existence And about survival, my survival As I cling to a world during peacetime But somehow I feel like a foot soldier Knowing that my face hides Love Fear Joy Emotion Tenderness And peace But behind my face there is something lurking in the shadows And its me My righteous self My unpretentious self My black self My woman self Now as I sit here alone I begin to ponder once again I say to myself, Now Aig’t I a Woman? I give myself a high five in the mirror And realize that I couldn’t have gotten from here to there Without a struggle A struggle of the mind Struggle of all the woman in my family Remembering, survival is not for everyone Especially during peacetime! Ponder that. 9/25/96 12:36am

By Veronica Novy If I could look within to see myself As I gravitate everyday Toward becoming the woman that I so desperately wish to be I realize that I have brought myself from there to here in one milliliter of a second That actually felt like an eternity But in fact was the blink of an eye Everyday I search for remnants and fragments to stitch together that one day will Embrace my soul and return me to an earthly woman Who Am I? I know tidbits of who I was yesterday, and can only surrender parts of yesterday to myself for myself For my new self tomorrow Embracing One’s Soul means finding peace within and not conforming to fit someone else notion of Who I should be Embracing myself means caring for me and what I represent and Realizing that every teardrop shed was and is for a reason It is to fill the hearts of my Mothers Mother Mother’s Mother daughter. Embracing my Soul means finding courage and strength in the face of obstacles and danger And not relinquishing any part of me that might leave me a microcosm of Who I am As I surrender at the end of each day I leave it fuller that when I started Wiser for again reckoning with the voice(s) within And more righteous for having the guts to Embrace My Soul. 3/8/98 1:16am

By MJ Lorenzo Routine… No big deal I know the drill Long pause, more pause… Double take, retake. Multiple expressions questionable. They ask for more… Marching orders From here to there Waiting rooms start to feel the same All just poker faces following protocol. The phone rings My heart stops Irregular beats Tunneled sounds A blurred vision Envelops me. The voice on the other end Penetrates the news A maddening repeat Running with tears Uncontrollably… Closed in Worse fear Can’t breathe… …Can’t breathe Stop…just stop I plead through ‘what if’s’… Can I just wake up? Can I go back? Did I get lost somewhere along the way? I stumble And fall hard Feeling so betrayed Anger rises, Confusion is on the other end I went in as one, And now have a team. Consults and decisions Medical terms and options Am I clear on everything? Buffet style choices The load is too heavy I don’t belong here My flesh screams ‘Why me’? Everyone and thing Continues on, continues on As I am left here…frozen. A whirlwind year Of hard transformations Out of the storm I am finally set free. There is a light to my path now I hear no other voices Yet another test waits at the corner. No time to mourn what was lost -A bigger test As the world stumbles can’t breathe-again Can’t. Breathe. A year of loss Followed by more loss… The fear I thought had me I rebuke with promises. Armed with truth My journey is filled with only hope... A great reset I am stronger With every step. You carried me… Through every storm, …You carry me. At my worse Your strength revealed Out of my darkness Your light shines.

By William Laferriere Well now Who’s to say What the cause is, and What contribution did I make And will this get resolved Does it get resolved How What questions need I ask How many chemo drugs will be proffered Which ones will I need Which will produce the desired result Which yield the nastiest side effects What are the percentages Can they work to my advantage Surgery Oh boy More of the same Talk to me about options Please mention all After all It’s my body in the mirror It’s my decision But I need help

By Desiree LeRoy Message alert the scan showed four spots on my lungs i have a biopsy tomorrow he said short of a miracle it is cancer i just want to start the meds and be clear i have a lot of fight in me i replied, you do Message alert it’s weird it blows air into the hospital gown to keep me warm i turned it off cause I was getting sweaty, lol i deflated myself you sent a picture, your head adorned in a hospital beret, your face scared but a familiar silly Message alert i’m nervous but ready to know once they have all the facts they can attack i love you Message alert i haven’t gotten the results back yet but I promise to let you know ASAP any pointers when you choreograph a dance? i kind of scratched out a routine on the plane i need to cut the song i also need to work on my toe fall you sent a picture of the mountains Message alert i got the biopsy results back cancer i have to keep fighting also, can I teach my work friends the hip hop routine you taught me? i gotta try and break it down work it, girl Message alert i have a scan in a few weeks to find out if the treatment is working until then just keepin going Message alert hey can you update the gofundme? it needs to say stage 4 metastatic breast cancer it has now spread to my lungs and brain -- we met after your brain surgery we sipped on chamomile tea melting into your living room laughing all afternoon you asked about donating a box of shampoo to a local shelter our last dinner you shared travel plans filling every month of the year you could barely eat but you still said mmm after every bite tikka masala riches i was scared but your flight schedule held us both our texts, sacred i will never delete your contact our exchanges of life, love, fear, and onward your dance of messages, forever mine herceptin autocorrected to perspective and ibrance autocorrected to vibrance so I’m taking those with me strength remains strength and i refuse to type the word forget Follow Desiree on Instagram: @somaticpoetry

By William Laferriere Brilliant & lustrous Hot blue, corporeal Warrior to the end Once the Amazon star now fiend, and succubus Enamored of Voldemort A true Death Eater Inuit welcomed her Aussie Wardaman sang her glories She beckoned Spring and of course Renewal Friends of Rigel and Betelgeuse Residing on Orion’s enduring belt Illuminating navigational clarity Empowering all to decipher and chart a true bearing Throughout this insidious & calamitous voyage

By Dr. Michelle R. LaFlamme Alfoce Center, the block lettering On the Wall Where I used to work In my long white coat Not that long ago I saw MY patient there, waiting Now I sit with trepidation Cold and tired Arms akimbo Afraid to ask for a blanket Which I used to GIVE and I spied them in their shinny warmer Unreachable Arms up, another scan The Donut of Truth That's what we called it When I was in charge I peered down the hall Saw my old colleagues working They seemed far and hazy And I couldn't reach them even in thought AS I hit the EXIT button And drifted away I realized the line between doctor and patient Is obscure And that I loathe the Waiting Room.

By P. A. Mendelsohn GP: Time for your mammogram. You’ve forgotten to care for yourself. Too busy. Stop. Do it. First Dimension. Radiologist: See that? Like bubble gum on a shoe Dragged across your sultry bosom Loved no more. At war with your complacency. Second Dimension. Surgeon: I got it all. No need to thank me. It's my job. Next. Really, it's gone. Just a little radiation. More prevention. With a lasting shadow Across your lung to remember us by. See you next year. Third Dimension. Spirit. You are loved. You are safe. You are cradled in your fear You are held in your shadow. You are never, never alone. You are ours. We are yours. Just ask. Listen. Breathe. Repeat. Fourth Dimension.

By Reyne M. Husky Getting my cocktails, one moment please From my favorite nurse putting me at ease She connects my port on the count of three Making sure that I’m pain free. ​ I play my ukulele just to pass the time And sing my favorite songs to help me unwind I can go to places, right here in my chair Imaginary friends popping up everywhere. I’m feeling kind of beat, from the chemo meds My hands and feet are turning red Can’t wait, to get home to my bed To sleep off the things, dancing in my head.

By Pooja Jain ​ Hey You...Who me? I am an onion. I keep peeling each layer of my life‘s experiences. I keep learning. ​ Little me, loved to be in the bubble of my family, my friends, my school and my home town. ​ I got stronger at heart. Time came to give my heart away and with that leave my bubble too. ​ This young lady was ready to step in a new home, new country with confidence. For years, I worked hard to make ends meet and I made home a heaven on earth. Then I was ready to welcome a new life in the world. ​ What a bundle of joy my boy is ... My baby boy made me a proud mom. Life was going good. Helping others and being a conscious world citizen. ​ Who knew ? ​ The peeling would now be done with a sharper knife. My body and soul were cut into pieces. A cancer diagnosis followed by a pandemic. Double the trouble .... Double the learning .... One more year has gone by... 365 days of peeling and learning. The pain equals gain ... The more layers I peel The more I learn. The more I get closer to nothing I ask ... is that nothing... everything?

By William Laferriere Out damn spot exclaimed the iniquitous Lady M In William’s foremost tale her fears well accounted for And the psychological toll knavishly awaiting all Out damn spot Out damn spot fill those diagnosed dreams A metastasizing growth proves every bit as daunting As the Lady M’s infamous lament so we too think, walk and talk about Out damn spot Out damn spot when the Lady somehow manages To fall into a fitful sleep she’s plagued by the nightmare Of blood and death on her hands her dreams too are made of iron and steel Out damn spot Out damn spot she rubs her hands And tries to erase “here’s yet a spot” she laments “The small of blood still” she cries out in desperation Out damn spot Out damn spot the grief, the guilt Sleep no more becomes the haunt and what is to become Of the life we so anticipated the anatomy of grief prevails Out damnable spot

By Ilene Kaminsky For Melissa Blank and Ben North Lasting longer than the rest The final poet stood up Amidst thousands of books Burned down around her feet Now ashes to ashes, now complete. Dust to dust sunrise to dusk She asked the gods to slip Into her mind what she couldn’t find Descriptions, colors, thoughts Flowers she’s never seen, people she May never meet. And instead of bursting into flame The room cried a storm of tears And their ashes washed away down to the street Where they sunk into the earth Melting the soil leaving only The voices behind with her to hold. Yet only the words “death” And “afraid” And “cancer” Came instead. She cried out loud “You don’t even know me, yet you defend me.” Pleading,”please. Give me back my words, please.” Their brilliant brains battered them. Now in their silence and rest, The fates leaving her alone to give some reason. Resonance of what happens now, What do we do today Now they’ve gone away. A child asks these stupid things Adults respond without a clue Nothing to say, less they can do. Yet, She persisted and insisted on their behalf. It’s no good, to herself again Another crumpled page atop The mountain piled high. That night she sat Opening and straightening and reading But throwing each into the stove. Her words cremated and remain forever unheard. Her heart beat hard in her chest Under the thousand pounds of weight. She’d heard a ton of stones Weighs exactly the same as a Ton of feathers, Rocks kill quick While feathers from an unseen bird Float into her mouth taking her breath and Slowly suffocating the poetess. The world turned again And written in her hand the morning after She picked up the papers reading Only “death” and “fear” and “cancer” Not one the right answer. The poem, it’s complete Yet one simple question remained Unanswerable. What’s there to gain By knowledge, here anyway? But why choose me? In her head a baritone voice said: “You tell me why.” And then she did.

By Dawn Oswald As I stare into the blue waves, I fear nothing The beautiful blue waves take all my thoughts away Away the cancer goes That little bit of time I stare into those blue waves I am a peace I am beautiful I am strong I can do anything O beautiful blue waves stay with me forever so I can be at peace Is it possible? Yes, When you are down take a deep breathe and remember me- the blue waves Dream of them and let them take away your pain For I am here to wave at you Just breathe and think of the blue waves Stare into that space and think of the beautiful blue waves Let your thoughts go Let it take your cancer away Stare Stare into the blue waves and fear nothing

By Brookshire McDonald I once wrote an essay Entitled my three “tits”. Now I am inspired to write A poem to “it”. Most of you are quite aware Breast cancer I had in my two Which has made me express More compassion and love for you. This year marks cancer anniversary Of number seventeen. Through each of those I have been blessed During the days in between. You are in my prayers every night Of the week, As on your journey Peace you do seek. To have found a new asset Of awareness of others Has been a true blessing From my sisters and brothers. I am grateful beyond all of this In my life That I didn’t have the third “tit” To bring me added strife!

By P.A.M ​ She laughed with delight as I explained the frission of sunshine that lept after his sparkling orbs recognized unexpectedly tantalizing fleeting just before they dipped again into a dim and unknown past. ​ Because, she explained, in the midst of tragedy facing death in it's brutal subtle grip edging closer still to a vile darkening fate ​ LIFE in its beautiful power asserted itself and claimed a right to love to dreams to passions not yet danced. The irrepressible spark LIT. Embarking on an Ahab quest Lashed to love again.