
A breast cancer diagnosis can send you into a tailspin. The official pronouncement can stir emotions whether you’re newly diagnosed, face a reoccurrence, or experiencing progression.
A breast cancer diagnosis can leave some people feeling shocked, numb, and asking themselves, “How could this happen to me? I was doing everything ‘right.’” Others may feel frightened in a stressful time of uncertainty, while some kick it into high gear and fierce planning mode, trying to control what is in their power. Hopefully, knowing that your emotional reactions are natural can be reassuring.
The reality is that breast cancer and its treatment can be unpleasant and frightening, so, understandably, you experience a range of emotions. In addition, you may feel uncertain about the future and worry about balancing work, finances, family, etc.— all of which can contribute to building stress and be traumatic.
Each person reacts to breast cancer differently, and it is possible to feel many different emotions simultaneously. There’s no right or wrong way to respond to a life-changing diagnosis, just as there’s no single way to deal with the feelings that come about due to a diagnosis. Everyone is unique, and you have permission to deal with your emotions in the best way that works for you.
Although there’s no easy solution, it may be reassuring to understand the emotional impact and seek support as you navigate this challenging time.
Emotional Stages of a Breast Cancer Diagnosis
The feelings generated by a breast cancer diagnosis are sometimes compared to the five stages of grief identified by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969—denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and depression, and acceptance. In many ways, it is much like mourning your pre-diagnosis life. However, while the framework included in this model is familiar to many people, it isn’t necessarily how everyone will process their diagnosis.
Although the stages of grief are sometimes numbered sequentially, people don’t necessarily experience them in that order or for a specific time. You may feel all or some of these emotions or other emotions not referenced here.
Denial
When faced with overwhelming news, people sometimes go into denial. The shock can make you feel numb or stunned, leading to an initial feeling of disbelief. Denial is a subconscious natural coping mechanism that protects us from becoming too overwhelmed. It allows us to process the news in more manageable pieces.
Anger
Receiving a breast cancer diagnosis can trigger anger in some people. For example, you may feel angry because you feel out of control, feel life as you know it is changing, or if your family and friends don’t react to the news the way you expect.