These last few weeks have been a bit confusing so I wanted to break down my understanding of what it means when you are told you may need more chemotheraphy. The path was pretty clear since my diagnosis: I was going to receive neoadjuvant chemotheraphy (i.e., chemo prior to surgery), undergo surgery, have 6 weeks of radiation, and end with hormonal therapy. However, my path changed based on the biopsy results from my surgery. We have now added adjuvant chemo (i.e., chemo after surgery) to my treatment plan. I want to take a moment to breakdown what this means and my experience with round 1 of Xeloda (Capecitabine). When you undergo neoadjuvant chemo, you and your doctors are not only aiming for the possibility of the size of the tumor to shrink, but also, for there to be no active cancer cells remaining in the breast tissue, or lymph nodes (if the cancer has spread there). One of the ways your care team is able to evaluate how well you respond to neoadjuvant therapies is by looking at the tissue that was removed during surgery to see if there are any actively growing cancer cells present. If there are no active cancer cells present, this is referred to as a “pathologic complete response” (pCR). It is important to note that the definition of pCR is still debated; some studies conclude that a pCR is achieved when only looking at the breast tissue while other scholars look at the breast tissue and auxiliary nodes combined. As such, it all depends on how your care team is defining and measuring the successful of neoadjuvant chemotherapy. While I am disease-free post surgery (yea! Cancer is removed and all scans came back clear!) doctors did find that there was “residual disease” remaining in the tissue that was removed. While there was success in my neoadjuvant treatment, it was not 100%, and therefore, we want to continue our aggressive treatment plan and proceed with adjuvant chemo, Capecitabine (Xeloda). Luckily, patients with incomplete response to neoadjuvant chemotherapy benefited from Capecitabine ! Capecitabine are pills I take twice a day and follow a “cycle” of two weeks on, one week off. After two week on the new chemo, I am happy to report that I am feeling ok. I can confirm that the rumors of this being an “easier” chemo are true. Easier in the sense that you can take the pills in the comfort of your own home. However, I don’t want to undermine the power of this chemo. Overall, I am feeling well but a few noticeable side effects include: Tiredness and fatigue Upset stomach / cramps Overall sense of not feeling well but cannot place your finger on what exactly is wrong Upset GI track Wrist Pain (this could be because of the Aromatase Inhibitors I am on like Anastrozle/Arimidex) The only time I felt nauseous was when I took the pills without food! Remember to take Capecitabine with food! Honestly, these symptoms are manageable. I am still working full-time and able to continue with my health and fitness exercise routine which is my sanity. One of the side effects I continuously monitor for is Hand and Foot Syndrome. This is the most common side effect, but so far, after completing round 1, I am in the clear!

Prior to having my port placed, I had a brief discussion with others about the difference between receiving chemo intravenously verses through a port. Everyone has an opinion and what works well for one, may not work well for someone else. I have complete faith in my doctors and care team so when they recommended I go with the port placement, I wasn’t going to question the decision. Even though I got an infection early on and was on a “port holiday”, that wasn’t going to stop my team from staying on track with my chemotherapy treatments! However, instead of administering it through my port, we were going to do it intravenously! (insert fainting right about now!) Needles are not my friend and I do not handle pain well at all so when I found out that this was how I was going to receive my infusion for the next two rounds, I had a really hard time. I am not saying this is for everyone, but this definitely wasn’t for me. However, I didn’t have a choice, the chemo show had to go on! The verdict: Now that I have experienced receiving chemo through both the port and the veins, I’m going with the port, for the win!

Are You Getting Enough Calcium? By Sue Cimino My name is Sue Cimino and I am a Breast Cancer Survivor. As with many of you, my journey was difficult. Whatever could go wrong did and whatever side effects there were, I was sure to get. My monthly focus is to help others by sharing something that helped me and continues to do so. Throughout my journey and now, I am a firm believer of proper nutrition and the benefits it lends. I truly believe that I was able to recover quicker and continue working throughout my 2+ year journey, which is still ongoing. Since I have not been able to work-out (heading in for my eighth and final surgery), I focus on eating healthy. However, I understand that although eating healthy is beneficial, it is impossible to get all of the nutritional needs from my food source. Many of the nutrients are lost during the cooking process and many fruits and vegetables are picked pre-ripened in order to ship to the stores for purchase. Not to mention that our soil has gone from over 80 minerals and now depleted to 2! Like many of you, my chemo has resulted in me developing osteoporosis. In addition to going every 6 months for a Zometa infusion, I am working hard to stop and reverse my this side effect from treatment. In addition to eating as many plant based foods that contain more calcium than milk, I add a calcium supplement to my diet. While everyone assumes that milk is the best source of calcium, I've got news for you! Excellent sources of calcium are found in green leafy vegetables such as broccoli, kale, spinach, watercress. Dried fruits, nuts (almonds), seeds (poppy, sesame, and chai), peas, beans and lentils I have researched several calcium supplements and found a superior delivery system. My calcium supplement is in an isotonic format , meaning, “same pressure” bearing the same chemical resemblance of our body’s blood, plasma and tears. This isotonic state allows nutrients to pass directly into the small intestine where they are rapidly absorbed into the bloodstream. By taking this in an isotonic state, it allows the maximum absorption of nutrients (98%). Most pills take anywhere form 40 minutes to 4 hours to turn into and isotonic state. Depending on binders and fillers they only allow for 10-20% absorption! Calcium exists in bone primarily in the form of hydroxyapatite. Hydroxyapatite accounts for approximately 40 percent of bone weight. The skeleton has a structural requisite and acts as a storehouse for calcium. Apart from being a major component of bones and teeth, calcium supports normal muscle contraction, nerve health, heart rhythms, blood coagulation, glandular secretion, energy production and immune system function. Sufficient daily calcium intake is necessary for maintaining optimal bone density, healthy bones and teeth. When the body does not get enough calcium per day, it draws calcium from your bones. The best form of calcium is calcium carbonate which is utilized by the body more efficiently, due to the fact that it increases the absorbability. Additionally, calcium is more readily absorbed by the body when in combination with magnesium, vitamin C, vitamin B2, boron and potassium. I have found Isotonix Calcium Plus is formulated with calcium carbonate and the additional vitamins and minerals needed in an isotonic form which allows for maximum utilization and absorption of calcium by the body and reduces the nutritive loss found in many calcium tablets or capsules. Everyone needs calcium. Practically no one ingests enough calcium in their daily diet. Besides being helpful in supporting and maintaining bone integrity, calcium serves a dynamic role as a mineral. It's very important in supporting the activity of many bodily enzymes and maintaining proper fluid balance. Isotonix Calcium Plus also promotes the normal contraction of skeletal and muscle. Learn more about the Isotonix Calcium Plus . By purchasing the Isotonix Calcium Plus, you enjoy the health benefits and at the same time you are contributing to Surviving Breast Cancer.

As states begin opening up and people start to emerge from weeks and months of sheltering in place, one must ask “is it safe to go back out”? In Boston, it was surreal to walk the desolate streets, sans cars, signs taped to storefront windows with bold black letters that held the same message "closed until further notice", and parking was available everywhere. Walking During Cancer Looking back at the time of my Dx I would get out and attempt to take walks. For walking seemed to have been the level of exercise I was able to engage in. I did so through chemo, post surgery, and, despite the fatigue from, radiation. Some days it would be less than 1000 steps. Other times I hit my 10K goal. Walking was meditative. It gave me structure during a time when there were many unknowns. Strutting down the uneven sidewalks of Boston somehow grounded me, allowing my mind to quiet down and take in the sites and sounds and beauty. Walking During COVID-19 Nowadays the lines of working from home and home-life have gotten blurry. Before COVID-19, I would wake up on Monday mornings, fight with my wardrobe before settling on something to wear, lather on concealer and then run out the door - only to sit in traffic for 45 minutes. Initially, working from home was exciting. I would wake up Monday, enjoy a hot cup of coffee, and mosey on to the kitchen table. There I would open my laptop and start my day, all the while being comfortable and cozy, in my yoga pants and possibly a nice top if I had meetings on Zoom. I knew I had to figure out a way to create structure so I turned to what I did during times of concern, of unknown, and anxiety. Walking. Just like then, on some days I had the energy and time to walk 5 miles while other times I was lucky enough to escape during a lunch break to do a lap around the block. During my recent daily walking routine, I have started to notice that more and more people were stepping out. We are on the brink of summer and everyone is longing for the warmth and just to be outdoors. More and more cars are on the road as families head to the Cape for a long weekend, or an escape up north to their lake house or mountain retreat. Slowly people are losing their concerns over COVID-19 as the news reports encouraging declines in new cases and deaths. Life After COVID-19 Most states have now begun to open up. Restaurants are starting to prepare for outdoor seating and companies are diligently working on their reopening operations/strategies. But by no means is COVID-19 gone. I wonder what life will be like after a global health pandemic: Will we continue to stand in lines before entering a grocery store? Will wearing face coverings become the norm? Will we ever shake hands or hug and kiss again?  What Is Your Comfort Level as States Reopen? People will certainly have different levels of comfort as we emerge from sheltering in place. Imagine the scenario: A friend invites you over to her home for an outdoor BBQ. Before COVID, it would have been an automatic "yes" and you would offer "what you can I bring". This still may be the natural response from most people. However, after months of practicing social distancing, I have to ask myself, am I ready to be social again? We will all have different levels of tolerance as we navigate this new path: Life post COVID. It's critical that as we begin to return to social gatherings and the luxuries of dining out, getting your hair blown out, or visiting with grandparents, there are still healthy and safety practices that are strongly recommended, like wearing a face covering, continuing to wash your hands frequently, and remaining a respectable 6ft distance from others. When I asked a colleague how she felt about going back out and seeing friends and family, she expressed similar concerns but suggested the tactic of utilizing a color scale to talk about comfort levels. This is a way for friends and family members to discuss the delicate topic that has the possibility of making someone feel uncomfortable if they decline to grab a dinner out or return to the shopping malls. If you are open and don't mind jumping on a plane or hugging your friends as a gesture of hello, you could say you are "Green" and ready to, though some experts would not advise this unless it is necessary to travel and you should still wear a face covering! On the other hand, you may be comfortable meeting up with 2 or 3 friends while all wearing a mask, exercising social distancing, and gathering in an outside space. We'll call this "Orange" or "Yellow". Using the sliding color scale lets you and your friends know where you are emotionally and mentally as we begin to open up and resume some sense of normalcy. Andrew Noymer, a public-health professor at UC Irvine states that “going for a walk with a friend in a park is probably better than hanging out in your friend’s living room,” and the same health and safety measures apply. Below is a roundup of tips and recommendations from the Atlantic , Today , Southshore Health , and the Boston Globe : If you are returning to a physical office take the stairs instead of a small and crowded elevator. If you are on the 17th floor, wait for the next elevator to arrive so it's less crowded. If you normally take public transportation, speak with your manager to see if you can adjust your hours and commute during non-peak hours. When dinning out, bring your own disinfectant wipes to clean the tables, chairs and menus. Refrain from eating with your hands and try to dine in outside areas when possible. Stay updated on your state's reopening strategy. Remain flexible to the phased approach knowing that things are still subject to change. Communication is key. if you are a business that is reopening, share your plans with your staff and clients. If you find yourself feeling ill, don't try and be the hero, take a sick day or see if you can work from home. There isn't a switch we can flip to return back to the way things were in 2019. We have a new line in the sand that has been drawn which we have crossed. There's no turning back. As we know all too well with our own cancer diagnoses, we have an ingrained moment in time when we recall life B efore C ancer . Similarly, the world is striving to fight off disease, develop a vaccine, and return to life B efore C OVID-19. To all of my friends who recall the 90's feminist, expressive, and relatable indie rocker Alanis Morissette, we now have two defining moments of life B.C. isn't it " Ironic " P.S. A recently published peer viewed article in the journal of Nature states that the s hutdowns prevented 60 million coronavirus infections in the U.S., and estimated that the it saved about 3.1 million lives in 11 European countries and dropped infection rates by an average of 82 percent.

By Kim Bowles President & Founder, NotPuttingonaShirt.org Every year, 250,000 women are diagnosed with breast cancer in the United States. Despite the prevailing narrative that breast cancer is a disease of older women, roughly 15% of those diagnoses are under age 40. I was 35 years old and nursing my second baby when I was diagnosed. I felt like I had entered a nightmare world and might never wake up. And I was one of the lucky ones - 10% of all breast cancer diagnoses are what's called "stage IV de novo" (metastatic breast cancer, or MBC) with no chance of a cure right out of the starting gate. And 30% of early stage breast cancers eventually metastasize. Since my own stage 3 diagnosis, I have watched in horror as handfuls of my MBC sisters have passed away, one by one. It's relentless and every October I urge people to choose to target their BCAM donations towards MBC research by supporting organizations like Metavivor. After six rounds of chemo, I chose to have a bilateral mastectomy without breast mound reconstruction. I made this choice for two reasons: I wanted to optimize my chances of never having to deal with chemo ever again (BMX), and I wanted to get back to my normal life as quickly as possible (FLAT). Being done in one surgery was critically important to me, so I brought on a plastic surgeon to ensure a smooth flat closure and minimize the risk of needing revision later. Unfortunately, that's not what I got . On surgery day, as I was lying on the operating table, I heard the plastic surgeon say "I'll just leave a little extra in case you change you mind" (to which I said, "no, make it flat"). I awoke three hours later to pockets of skin remaining on my chest - not smooth and flat like we had agreed. I knew that my chance to be done in one surgery had been stolen from me. I was devastated. The trauma of making peace with your surgical decision only to wake up to something completely different, is hard to describe. And it happens to women who are already at their most vulnerable, enduring cancer treatment. I struggled for weeks to fully accept what had happened to me. I felt violated, dehumanized, and alone. People would say things to me like "it can be fixed," or "at least they got the cancer," invalidating the trauma. I decided I wasn't going to stand for it. Over the past three years I have gone from protesting topless on the street (yes, you heard that right) to founding Not Putting on a Shirt , a 501(c)(3) organization that empowers women with tools and resources to protect their choice, and works with institutional stakeholders to build a coalition that will end "flat denial." The fact is that one in twenty women who choose to go flat is denied a flat closure by a surgeon who wants to push them towards breast reconstruction. There are many contributing factors that allow this to continue: paternalism, protectionism, lack of a standard of care, suboptimal reimbursement, and unclear language. We've made some great progress. Earlier this year, the National Cancer Institute took the historic step of defining the term " aesthetic flat closure " as rebuilding of a smooth, flat chest wall contour. Now patients know exactly what to ask for - and there's no ambiguity about what we have agreed to for unscrupulous providers to leverage against us. The term also enables advocates to push for better training and reimbursement to support providers in developing and delivering an optimal standard of care for women going flat. If you are facing mastectomy and have decided to go flat, be sure to ask your surgeon for an "aesthetic flat closure" as defined by the National Cancer Institute. Make sure it's in your medical record. And if your surgeon isn't supportive, get a second opinion. This is your body, your life, and your decision. Aesthetic flat closure is a beautiful, healthy, legitimate reconstructive choice! To learn more about aesthetic flat closure and how to advocate for your choice, access our Flat Friendly Surgeons Directory, print or order brochures to use at your consult, read about our strategic plan and how you can help, and more, visit NotPuttingonaShirt.org . #putflatonthemenu #aestheticflstclosure #notputtingonashirt Website: NotPuttingonaShirt.org Facebook/IG: @NotPuttingonaShirt Twitter: @not_shirt

I always say that my radiation therapy gives me that special kind of "glow"! And it does. After all, you are getting exposed to high-energy rays to kill cancer cells. My radiation came towards the end of my active treatment plan; after I completed 6 months of neo-adjuvant chemotherapy and my surgery. I used to think that if you had a mastectomy, you wouldn't need radiation. However, depending on where the tumor is, and even how close it is to the chest wall or lymph nodes, or if there is a chance that cancerous cells may be left behind even after surgery, oncologists may recommend radiation regardless of a lumpectomy or mastectomy. What to expect during radiation: Prior to my first radiation appointment, I went in for an hour long visit with the radiation oncologist. During that visit she explained the goals of treatment, what I could expect, what I should and should not do while undergoing treatment and how to manage side effects. For example: Don't put on lotions or deodorant before treatment. Avoid chlorine (which was hard as I love swimming laps!). Avoid certain vitamins which may interfere with the effectiveness of the radiation treatment. During this initial visit, they positioned me on the radiation table to take exact measurements of where the external radiation beans were to be positioned. To ensure that I lay in the exact same position each time, they used a mold form to shape my upper torso. They also gave me 3 permanent tattoo marks the size of a ball-point pen which were used to align the rays. The tattoo only hurt for a moment and now I have bragging rights that I do in fact have a tattoo, I call it my radiation constellation! I was surprised to learn that radiation treatment was a Monday-Friday ordeal! While the therapy treatment itself was at most 15 minutes (getting into the Johnny, getting positioned, receiving the radiation dose and getting dressed again), the time it takes to commute, find parking, and figure out all of the logistics with work seemed to take up more of my time! If possible, I recommend trying to schedule your treatments for first thing in the morning or late in the afternoon to avoid work conflicts if you are able to still work during treatment (I did). Radiation Side Effects: My radiation was 6 weeks total. 5 weeks of full breast radiation with one week of a radiation boost where they targeted the exact area of where my tumor was. The first two weeks were pretty smooth sailing. Radiation itself doesn't hurt, but there is a cumulative effect from the doses. Over time, my skin got red and itchy and my fatigue was through the roof! There were days I hardly had the energy to carry groceries, put away laundry, or walk further than the bedroom to the couch. My skin was so hot and red I often wore oversized jersey tank tops when I didn't have to go into the office. Generally speaking, my skin responded well. While it was red and irritated, I moisturized like crazy, literally three times a day. Since my appointments were first thing in the morning, it was easy to apply Aquaphor late morning, after lunch and before bed! However, be aware that Aquaphor is quite greasy and ended up staining some of my clothes! Longer Term Side Effects: I am positive my radiologist informed me of the longer term side effects from radiation, but like most things during treatment, I couldn't fathom all of the information. Despite the side effects, I didn't feel in a position to refuse radiation treatment either. We took an aggressive approach from the beginning so why change course now? Now that I am 4 years out from my radiation treatment here's what I've learned: Radiation can shrink the size of your radiated breast and even change the direction of your nipple if you had nipple sparing surgery Radiation increases your risk for developing lymphedema Depending on the side in which you had radiation, it can increase your risk for cardiovascular disease (ask your doctor if you should see a cardio-oncologist) Want to learn more about my experience with Radiation? Check out the videos below where I documented my experience.

By Matilda Flanagan (11 years old) It will be OK She will be OK Hair isn’t everything It will grow back I can’t pretend everything is OK When it’s not She might not get better I hate the color pink And the ribbon that I now constantly see I need her She is everything to me She can’t get out of bed But soon she will walk Not a lot but At least she will walk If I cry I will not stop So don’t cry I need to focus But I can’t I need her What would I do without her I love the rain because We would listen to it And fall asleep in my room But now it’s pouring and I’m not sure If I like it anymore

By Matilda Flanagan (11 years old) I cry as someone holds me Trying to calm me They rock me Just like my mom did Before she got sick I love her and she is safe She is home sleeping But I dare not think Of the chance that She not wake For I love her She can’t leave If she does I most certainly will grieve I cry at night But always stay quiet For I fright She might not like Waking up and seeing Her daughter crying I love her They whisper in my ear It will be OK My swelling eyes look up And see my dad holding me tight I love him but I forgot He has something to lose two Everyone has something to risk Their happiness So how lucky are you If You have something That makes saying goodbye So hard

By Traci I’m currently in the radiation phase of my treatment for stage 3 breast cancer. The technician, "let’s call him Rick because that’s his name," was not friendly and curt in his manner. I was 4 weeks in, with 2 weeks to go, and had been having a hard time. My type of radiation requires me to hold my breath while treatment is being administered. I’m not very good at this as a rule and especially under pressure. The other day, Rick decides he is going to give me a lecture on holding my breath and how that is making it hard for him to do what “he” needs to do. He went on and on while I stood there with no shirt on (I still have one breast) and feeling quite uncomfortable. I was shocked and didn’t react. I left there with tears forcing their way out and tried to make it to the hospital parking lot before I broke down. This was hard enough and him being impatient with me on a regular basis was making it even more difficult. My first thought was, I’ll tell the Doctor I’ve had enough of him. Then, I decided to calm down and think on it. So I did. I’ve changed through this cancer journey and have become more patient and understanding. I promised myself this journey would make me better, not bitter. I talked with a dear friend and she suggested I talk to Rick about it. That is not what I originally had in mind. I was thinking I would just say nothing and after two more weeks, never see him again. The last thing I wanted right now was to confront someone who I would have to see 10 more mornings. Then, I gave it more thought and decided to have a heartfelt conversation with him. When I went in the next day, I asked Rick, “Can we talk a minute please?” He looked hesitant as he had no idea where I was going with this. I said I’m sorry that I can’t hold my breath properly. It’s hard enough to come in here as I don’t feel well, plus it gives me anxiety and makes it hard for me to hold my breath. I’m not trying to make your job harder, and I’m doing my best. Then the tears came. He looked me in the eyes, and said Traci I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I was just trying to explain how things worked. I responded, “I need you to be gentler and more patient with me. I’ve been in treatment for a year now, and it’s hard." I could tell he felt badly. Surprisingly, the session went smoothly and he was quite pleasant, unlike the technician I was used to dealing with. The next day, I went back in and he was kind and gentle, patiently walking me through the treatment. Better still, I also noticed that he was warmer to the patients in front and behind me. In retrospect, I think Rick had just lost his way at work and wasn’t seeing us as people anymore. This “new” technician I’m finishing up my radiation with is a completely different one. I’m so glad I had the courage to talk to him and be my own advocate. I’ve learned it’s terribly important to speak up for yourself as the staff administering my care sometimes forgets we are a person and not a number. Thank you for sharing your story, Traci. SBC loves you! SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Listen to our podcast Online Support Groups Virtual Events

By Tamera Hi, I'm Tamera. I am now proudly certified in Yoga 4 Cancer. Diagnosis I was diagnosed with breast cancer just after the New Year of 2015, at the age of 44. I had gone in about 6 months prior for an annual mammogram and the results came back suspicious. That led to more testing, monitoring, and a biopsy in December, which resulted in my being positive for DCIS in the right breast. It was believed my cancer was being fed by Estrogen, and I opted for a double nipple and areola sparing mastectomy due to have a family history of female cancers. I later learned my left breast was also showing unusual tissue changes, but was not yet cancerous when I removed the left breast tissue as well as the right. A Learning Experience ​A few years earlier in 2011, I had a hysterectomy and had my uterus removed, as it was looking as if I was headed for endometrial cancer. It has been a roller coaster of both positives and learning experiences. I have had many individuals in my family impacted by cancer or who have passed. This January after the New Year, we learned my husband who had just turned 49 was diagnosed with early prostate cancer. Again, a learning experience for myself and my family. I have two children who have had to learn about cancer as a teen and adolescent. They are learning to be more proactive in regard to their own health as a result. Yoga Teacher Training A lifesaver was that in 2015, when diagnosed with breast cancer, I was two weeks into yoga teacher training. It was so helpful. It was challenging as I had to be driven to classes for almost three months, but it gave me time to bond with my new body emotionally, spiritually, and physically . I had setbacks after diagnosis such as an infection which put me back in the hospital and ultimately delayed by exchange surgery. I had expanders put in in January and did not have my first surgery for implants until June. In regards to my yoga, I modified everything and learned a lot about benefits of meditation, breathing, and movement under fire you could say. This led to my obtaining a scholarship by Lululemon to become trained one year later in Yoga 4 Cancer. I am now proudly certified in Yoga 4 Cancer and began teaching it about 6 months after being trained. Giving Back I have a supportive friend who owns a Judo Club where I offer private sessions off and on, but it has been a regular home for Yoga 4 Cancer Miami for almost two years now. I did some fundraising with support from a lovely client and this allowed me to offer some of the programming for free for individuals in financial need in 2019. My business Wellness, Therapy, & Yoga has funding and support from Pink Luminous Breast and LympheDIVAS to offer the free programming. I have brought on the help of other Y4C trained teachers. I work full-time as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and provide Addiction and Rehabilitation Counseling, but supporting Yoga 4 Cancer and offering Private and Corporate Wellness along with Life Coaching is something I have fun with and doesn’t feel like work. I am not sure what my future holds. I write for Cure Magazine and have published a chapter in Experts in Pink addressing the benefits of Yoga and Meditation during and after Breast Cancer. I may eventually complete my goal of providing a resource for mental and physical thrivership following a cancer diagnosis by publishing my own book. I can retire from my full-time job after 20 years of service with my current agency and have the incredible opportunity to work in the private sector for another employer. I would love to provide corporate wellness programming someday. My objective is to enjoy my children who are growing and are now in college and preparing for college. Both are studying in the medical field. I look forward to doing more traveling and enjoying friendships and connections. I love being anywhere near water where I can take out my Kayak or enjoy other water sports. If you’re in Miami or plan a visit, I would love for previvors, survivors, and thrivers to attend Yoga 4 Cancer Miami or elsewhere if you find a class in another area where you live. Not all classes are free, but yoga teachers such as myself learn how to modify the classes to support the needs of those impacted by cancer. You can find classes at Y4C.com under find a teacher for locations and instructors. Lymphedema and other conditions are all part of the consideration in how classes are run and how poses are modified. If you’re interested in connecting with me you can contact me at www.wellnesstherapyyoga.com My articles with Cure are free at https://www.curetoday.com/community/tamera-anderson-hanna. Part of my work is now also educating more individuals on the importance of conducting a monthly self-breast exam . To support the exam, you can use a new free app by Pink Luminous Breast and learn about the device which helps you see into your breast using infrared technology to visibly see any concerns or changes you would need to speak to your health professional about. I am using it to teach my teenage daughter about the importance of breast health.It is an important topic for me due to family history and wanting to teach my daughter to be proactive about her health. My Tips Have a survivorship care team. My team includes my regular health professionals, but I have added a dietician, lymphedema specialist, acupuncturist, and I exercise of course with the help of yoga and walking. I have exercises I do while walking and practicing yoga to help against Lymphedema. As a mental health professional, I maintain mental health with positive self-talk and maintaining healthy sexuality post cancer. I invite others to find a good support system that works for you. ​No matter what you face in life, may your smile always be brighter than any obstacle you face! Thank you for sharing your story, Tamera. SBC supports you! SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Resources for Families Fitness Tips Positive Thinking for Healing Our Weekly MeetUp Online Support Groups

By Liz Benditt, President, The Balm Box I like to think of myself as a medical miracle . Between 2009 and 2017, I survived four cancers over 8 years. Melanoma It started in 2009 at a weekend summer trip to the pool. My daughter was almost four years old and bumping around the baby pool in her little floaties with my husband, while I lounged on a deck chair with my baby boy, napping in a sweet, sweaty mess on my chest. My mother noticed a mole on my upper thigh and nagged me to get it checked. I rolled my eyes at her. She called the following week to see if I had made an appointment with a dermatologist – I had not. I succumbed to her nagging and made an appointment . The dermatologist immediately wanted to biopsy the spot. A few days later, I got a call from the Doctor personally, with the news that it was melanoma , over 1mm and ergo too large for Mohs surgery. It was made clear to me that this was MELANOMA – a very fast-moving cancer – and it was imperative to remove the affected area and check to see if it spread to the lymph nodes. If it spread – I’d have maybe a year to live. If it had not spread – no big deal. This all happened over the course of 6 days . It was totally surreal. Live or die. The only two options. We got the call – clean margins, no spread to the lymph nodes. Score 10 points to mothers knowing best and forcing me to make that dermatologist appointment. I stocked up on floppy hats, sunscreen, and SPF 50 swim shirts for my family and tried to go back to ‘normal’ life. Thyroid Cancer Eleven months later, I had an irregular mammogram requiring a biopsy . While the surgeon was probing all around the boobie-area, her hands started snaking up my neck. She noticed a small lump that was clearly bothering her. She sent me off to radiology to get an MRI . I got a “two-for-one” deal that time around – a breast AND neck biopsy. The same week the breast biopsy came back clear, we got the bad news that I had Thyroid Cancer . Cancer #2 – less than one year after the first one. After my experience with Melanoma, I was shocked at the lack of urgency from the medical establishment . I was given a long and complex checklist that had to be completed before I could schedule the surgery, including labs and endocrinology referrals. It took weeks to complete. I was frantic – where was the big rush to GET THE CANCER OUT from the year before?? The surgery was finally scheduled, childcare was in place and I was ready to get ON with it. I ended up in a teeny-tiny category of patients with a very rare side effect from that surgery – It happens to less than 2% of patients – the surgery rendered me hypoparathyroid . For those of us without endocrinology degrees, the hypoparathyroid glands process calcium in the bloodstream. This bought me a bonus 2 weeks in the hospital, where teams of doctors created a complicated drug cocktail that would regulate my calcium. It was not fun, nor was I very stable when I finally was released to recuperate at home. It took me years of ER visits, trial and error with various doctors, drug combinations and a drastic change to my diet / nutrition to get me back to feeling ‘healthy’. I started early morning runs with a group of friends and the sport ‘stuck’. Over time, I went from a panting 1-mile run to long-distance 10-mile weekend runs with a close-knit group of girlfriends. I completed a half-marathon in 2013. I was back – I was fine – kids were fine – life went on. Basal Cell Carcinoma By 2015 I knew my dermatologist well – after all – she saw me quarterly for five years after Melanoma, vigilantly checking every inch of my naked body during regular “full body” checks. Many an errant freckle was removed during those visits. But in 2015, the spot on the bridge of my nose was problematic . Basal Cell Carcinoma. While not life threatening, the placement on my face meant for a tricky removal and plastic surgery. This being my THIRD cancer, and not Melanoma-level-scary, I took my time to interview plastic surgeons to determine which one would give me the best odds of keeping my face intact. I chose the doctor known in our community as being “great with faces” and agreed to a two-part surgery that would be terribly painful but give me the best odds of looking like myself. It was both painful and productive – to this day, my scar is barely noticeable, brilliantly placed along the shadow of my nose. Three strikes, and you’re out Cancer! RIGHT?! Breast Cancer In 2017, I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. As my FOURTH cancer I was angry - not panicked. I approached the surgery full of questions and skepticism. What could go wrong? What are the potential side effects? Give me the numbers! I asked for more data than any patient ever. I was going to CONTROL this cancer, and take my time determining the treatment plan that worked for me. I chose my medical team based on the doctors willing to discuss (humor?) me with a real conversation about options, medical outcomes, statistics focused on women under 50, and likelihood for recurrence . I agreed to a lumpectomy followed by radiation treatment. After all this experience and research, I was going to be a rock-star patient and fly through treatment and recovery like a BOSS. Although the melanoma was by far my most potentially lethal cancer, and the facial plastic surgeries for basal cell were incredibly painful, the breast cancer experience and treatment were the absolute worst . Perhaps I was overconfident about my youth and ability to fight it, or it is possible my fair skin was destined to react badly to radiation – it is impossible to know. Regardless, despite thinking I would knock out radiation and be able to continue working full time, leading girl scout troop meetings, and running half-marathons my body failed me and I was flabbergasted by my situation. I am a planner! I was proactive dammit! The Challenges There were two concurrent issues: 1. It was incredibly difficult to predict what tools I would need to go through and recover from radiation until I was in the middle of it, scrambling for bra-alternatives, aluminum-free deodorant, and burn salves. A nurse made me a mini-pillow to hold between my seatbelt and breast so that the belt wouldn't chafe. There was no central resource, website, or retailer known for all this 'stuff' and I found myself up late at night researching page 20 searches on google and amazon looking for solutions. Most of the cancer-treatments and gifts online were pink ribboned cute/sassy t-shirts and mugs – I wanted relief not stuff . 2. Friends and neighbors all want to DO something ... and they predominantly bring food/cook. It was incredibly kind and appreciated, but honestly my husband and son are super picky eaters and would have preferred takeout. I was not able to exercise and would have preferred lighter / lower calorie fare. It was honestly frustrating because it was all so WELL MEANING but in reality, not awesome to receive. The challenge with most cancer treatments is that patients do not know what they are going to need to help them self-soothe until they need it RIGHT AWAY. I wondered – where is the resource for cancer patients to proactively plan for treatment and recovery side effects? It didn’t exist. The Balm Box The idea for The Balm Box started in 2017 – but it wasn’t until 2020 that the moons aligned and gave me a quiet few months at my desk at home during the Pandemic to really build out the idea into a legitimate business plan. I started by sending out a survey to friends and family to validate the idea – the survey went viral and collected almost 600 responses. My market research revealed that I was most definitely NOT alone in my frustrations and there was a huge level of interest from both cancer patients and caregivers who were looking for functional self-care and gifting options. Their feedback was invaluable, and to this day, gives me great confidence in the curated products featured on our website. A few weeks after finishing radiation treatments my girlfriends threw me a “Finish Line” party. It was a magical night , filled with cocktails and cake and laughter. The evening was made even more special by friends who flew into town from New York and Los Angeles to attend. The cumulative trauma of the past 8 years had caught up to me, and rather than simply ‘get back to normal’ I am so very grateful that my friends and family gave me a moment to celebrate all I had overcome. The “Finish Line” party was where the seed for The Balm Box started. Maybe there is some crazy kismet in the universe; the years of cancer treatments leading me to the launch of something great. I certainly hope so. Sometimes the finish line is actually the starting line. Thank you for sharing your story, Liz. SBC loves you! SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Virtual Events, Webinars , and Meetups Positive Thinking for Healing Our Weekly MeetUp Online Support Groups

By Gloria Exactly a year ago – August 31, 2020; I was given a diagnosis of Invasive Lobular Breast Cancer .... The Diagnosis This diagnosis rocked my Spirit to the core. My partner, who had come with me to my dermatologist appointment to get my stitches removed from my surgical biopsy, gently held me in the parking lot and we both cried. My General Practitioner (GP) called me within 15 minutes of my receiving this news. She immediately booked an appointment for the next day to get my pap smear test done, referral to get another mammogram done (even though I had a mammogram approximately a year earlier that showed nothing), and a referral to a surgeon. Lump in Arm I had found this pinhead lump in my underarm (which I have now come to understand is the tail end of the breast) back in 2018, and I had shown it to my GP who sent me to get an ultrasound done. We both thought it was a cyst and so we agreed to monitor it after the ultrasound came back clear. The following year my mammogram, showed nothing either. The Start 2019 was a year of many challenges – it started with a swollen right knee that was initially diagnosed as a Baker’s Cyst. Being unable to walk on it for a couple months allowed me to research the causes of a Baker’s Cyst and so I chose to change my diet and eliminate the foods that causes inflammation. In July 2019, my 94 year old Dad who I looked after for 12 years after he suffered a stroke passed. Around the same time my mammogram was due. It showed nothing. In August 2019, I found out I had a full macular hole in my right eye. I underwent a vitrectomy surgery to repair my macular hole and replace the lens in that eye on October 1, 2019. Anyone who has been through this surgery knows that you have to lie face down for a week 24 hours a day, if possible. It was great news when I found out I could read again in that eye – the tears of release and gratitude flowed . Fast forward, toward the end of February 2020, I started with headaches around the temple of my operated eye. A call to my ophthalmologist had me go to my optometrist to check the blood pressure, etc. behind the operated eye. The reason I share this is so that you can understand the full sequence of events . There was no problem with my operated eye, but the temple headaches continued over 3 days straight. So, I contacted my GP who saw me and was concerned that it could be Giant Cell Arteritis – so she prescribed a small dosage of prednisone and ordered blood work. The next day, we got the results of my blood work that showed high inflammation levels – so she again increased the prednisone. In the meantime, she had discussions with a rheumatologist and vascular specialist and ordered a temporal artery biopsy. This is the only way that they can eliminate that it wasn’t giant cell arteritis. Thankful and grateful that it wasn’t!!! My Whole World Changed Now, March 2020 and COVID 19 global pandemic is announced. I did notice that the so-called “cyst” had grown and the consistency was different . So, I booked an appointment with my GP when possible around June 2020. She immediately sent me to the dermatologist to have it removed. That is when my whole world changed – the dermatologist explained to me that an ultrasound is not a definitive tool, plus it was since December 2018. He shared with me that he can tell from the biopsy if it is a cyst and if it is he had prepped the area to remove it but if it wasn’t he would do a surgical biopsy. That was August 16, 2020, and 2 weeks later, I had an appointment to get the stitches removed, and that’s when I got the diagnosis of ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma). The Tests Ultrasounds and mammograms on August 31, 2020 still did not show any inconsistencies or abnormalities . My pap smear came back negative. So all good in that respect. The surgeon's first visit occurred that week also and a number of tests were orders – CT Scan with contrast of chest, abdomen, and pelvis; Breast MRI and Radioactive Tracer full body bone scan . These tests would provide further results as to what the surgery and treatment plan would look like. So, for the next couple weeks I underwent these various tests.... all use very toxic chemicals so they had to be staggered to ensure that the chemicals were no longer in my system. The Surgery Great news considering everything – it was a single tumor and so surgery was scheduled for September 29, 2020 at 8am EST for a lumpectomy. I knew that all will be well since 8 is the sign of infinity, and September 29 was one of my dear brother’s birthday’s who had transitioned 7 years earlier. My surgeon and I had agreed that if the sentinel nodes were clear that she would only do 1 auxiliary lymph node dissection . Surgery was successful – nothing in the safe margins of the lumpectomy, nothing in the lymph nodes (sentinel nor auxiliary) and so next treatment post healing of the surgical area was radiation. Active and Informed During this entire time – from August 31, 2020 to October 30, 2020 – I did as much research as was possible. I chose to be an active informed participant in my health and wellbeing – so I researched Mayo Clinic and Breast Cancer.org around ILC. In addition, I registered with Wellspring, Ontario, Canada, a non-profit organization that provides numerous services and programs for any Canadian Cancer Patient and their main caregiver. I initially registered for both Reiki and Therapeutic Touch (TT). Being a trained Reiki Master – I was open to receiving energy healing and I had had 1 TT treatment when my Dad was in Hospice back in July 2019 – and I remembered how calming and peaceful it felt after the treatment. Therapeutic Touch Treatments I continued to have TT treatments remotely by a retired nurse who I called my Earth Angel.... before each test, day before surgery, during surgery, day after surgery, and each day after my 10 radiation treatments. TT is so healing that it is now taught based on it’s evidence-based research at a number of teaching hospitals for nurses and doctors. I believe in my heart of hearts that it is due to TT that I didn’t require any pain meds at all post surgery and other having to have a table tennis ball aspirated 2 weeks post surgery no other additional interventions were required. Remember – the tumor and all the lymph nodes that were removed and dissected were all in the same area in the underarm – a 4.5in incision. I opted, after my research, to do the Accelerated Radiation Treatment Plan – I read all the papers available at the time on this – The Lancet, Breast Cancer.org, and Yale before making an informed choice. I'm so happy and thankful this was an available choice!!! For anyone who isn’t aware of it – please check with your radiation oncologist and have the discussion if it is a possible treatment plan for you. Again, I contribute no broken skin in the radiated area to TT which I had each and every day after radiation remotely by my Earth Angel!!! Treatment Plan and Side Effects The next step in my treatment plan was an AI (Aromatase Inhibitor) since the pathology of the tumor indicated that it was ER/PR+, HER2 -, Stage 2, Grade 1 (less than 10% of cells were abnormal), and my ONCO Score was 11. Being a 63 soon to be 64 post menopausal woman at the time, I would have had to have an ONCO Score of 26+ for chemo to be even suggested/recommended. Another thankful moment in the journey!!! I was able to complete my radiation on December 4, 2020 and commence the AI (in my case Letrozole was prescribed) on December 12, 2020. Unfortunately, I experienced all the 3 most severe side effects possible from this AI. Night sweats, hot flashes, and joint pain and stiffness in my fingers – to the point it disrupted my sleep in the wee hours of the morning – the REM sleep time 2am-6am. My MO suggested after the first month to take it in the morning versus night – the side effects continued without a break.... After 2 months, my MO suggested taking a break and once the side effects subsided that he will start me on another AI – Exemastane. Unfortunately, the side effects continued like clock-work for 6 months even after stopping the AI. In those 6 months, I went back and reviewed all my reports from my various tests to again make another informed decision – and since my CT Scan had shown a NAFLD (Non- alcoholic fatty liver disease) I decided to do some research on this . Thankful and grateful that with the right diet and exercise this is the one organ that can rejuvenate itself but it takes approximately 3 years. Internal Guidance I have made an informed decision to not take any AI since an AI for 5 years with debilitating side effects would then require me to have possibly every 6 months bone injections for 3 years and that also has it own set of side effects. As I meditated daily and asked Great Spirit what was best for me – I kept getting the same intuitive knowingness – I don’t need an AI. BTW – my onco score also showed that even taking an AI for 5 years it will only probably result in improving a possible recurrence from 1 in 10 (which is the national average of breast cancer) to 1 in 33. My internal guidance was shouting no to me – so I chose to follow my internal guidance and instead focus on myself as a whole being!!! Living in Gratitude I live each day in gratitude as I walk the journey of my life in daily meditation, journaling, putting healthy boundaries, eating healthy foods, and daily walks in nature while chanting . I'm very grateful for Alistair Cunningham who was guided to write the book entitled “A Healing Journey” and all the workbooks that go with all the various modules and run by Wellspring Canada!!! I have made changes in all areas of my life – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual and work on all of them daily. I am currently completing the Healing Journey 5 module and registered for both Healing Journey 6A and 6B to commence mid September 2021. I have also felt guided to complete TT Level 3 so I can volunteer with the following organizations – Wellington Hospice Guelph, Groves Memorial Hospital (where I already volunteer on the Board of the Volunteer Association and has been for the last 2 years), and Wellspring Canada!!! Living my best life possible every day as I seek and act on the internal guidance given to me by Great Spirit/God/Divine Matrix – call it what you will!!! Thank you for sharing your story, Gloria. SBC loves you! SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Affirmations & Meditations Guide Nutrition Guide Breast Cancer & Journaling Free Virtual Movement Classes Online Support Groups

By Liz Cooper, NC native currently living in Chattanooga, TN and breast cancer survivor since January, 1998 Rising to face another day, I stare at my face in the mirror and begin to pray, Father I stretch my hand to Thee, my Helper and Provider today help me to stand, renew my strength and take all my tears away. Mirror, mirror before you I stand, facing a reflection of a new “ME” Changed on the outside and transformed on the inside, I never knew this would be. I recall the look on my doctor’s face as sad and somber on that winter’s day It seemed for a moment the words he spoke took my breath away. “ I regret to inform you, you have CANCER,” the words echoed in my mind I lay speechless, unwilling and unable to move, suddenly frozen in time. At first filled with disbelief, thinking surely there must be some mistake My mind was ill at ease, nervously aware this would be more than I could take. Fear and doubt reared their ugly heads, What does it mean? What can I do? I felt my Heavenly Father place His hand in mine and say “I will be with you.” Words of comfort, whispered ever so softly in my ear, Words I needed to hear and with those words instinctively I dried my tears. God ‘s word says “ Lean not to your own understanding ” “ Believe and trust in me ” The greater the problem—the closer He will be. I began to pray and meditate upon His word, With faith comes healing -- I knew my prayers would be heard. The Holy Spirit had begun His work and I began to understand, There is a time and purpose God has prescribed for every man. I was assured I would be healed and bear witness of His love I knew my deliverance would come from above. By the blood of Jesus and by His stripes I am healed, Even more, I have learned to surrender and accept His will. Like the woman with the issue of blood, she kept the faith, she never gave up. I kneeled before the Lord as I drank from that bitter cup. This earthly affliction may have caused me pain With Jesus as my Peace and Comforter, my life will be renewed again. Lord, you knew me, even as I was formed in my mother’s womb, And by your mercies, oh God, I will proclaim your goodness to my earthly tomb. This temporary trial will always be my testimony, this was a test of my faith, Lord you see inside me, with just one touch I am healed and my sins are erased. I could have been dead and gone down in my grave Lord you healed me, you saved me and made death behave. Standing before this mirror staring at a reflection of what human eyes can see, Realizing these eyes are blind to the new life that you have created in me. My Bible tells me “they that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength,” Jesus I am filled with thanksgiving to You for saving me from what might have been. You took away my sickness and You removed my disease, I have a new walk, a new talk, a new life and my mind is at ease. Old things are passed away, everything has become new, Thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus, I owe it all to you! Now as I stand facing the mirror I see God looking down with love and grace, And I humbly walk away with an uplifted spirit and a smile on my face. This journey has taught me well that no matter what I may go through, God cares, will never leave me and will always bring me through.

By Ilene Kaminsky Live quietly with your questions. Sit still for a spell, just for now, put yesterday away with well-deserved tenderness. Nurture these moments, like newborns, feed and swaddle them. Rock them in the sweet rhythm of their slumbering breath. In this, the only moment Ever to become infinity’s reply to the direction of your green green path, a path with new ways to go — some trodden upon, some unknown. You think of “Nothing” much like that infant you carefully once loved. Why rush to grow? Time grows long regardless of your prodding for politeness or for prodigy. For they, in minutes of stillness will grow into our hours. The answers reveal themselves only when you’ve Forgotten to ask “why?” These questions over the course of life become like gems beaded onto a necklace, weighing you — Bowing you down In prayer or in repentance. Break its clasp And relinquish all the heaviness to the ground. Lift your head up and open your mouth. Catch the blessed rain on your tongue. What’s keeping you silent as your Lungs feed on the breath of freedom? Cut the stones weight from round Your neck. Breathe in time with your child who holds no answers. Not even the coolness of this second is hindered by what should be and will never be again. The answers you came here to gather when you were still innocent, in your open hands to grab secretly Like flowers from Neighboring garden whose labors were never yours to own.

By Kate I was diagnosed with stage 3 ER positive breast cancer in January 2018, when I was 47. It was aggressive and fast moving, so I had 4 AC chemo infusions, followed by 12 weekly infusions of Paclitaxel first. I then had a double mastectomy, lymph node removal, and reconstruction. I am on an AI and have regular Zoladex injections. Just about to be given another injection, as my bones are suffering. Have lymphedema in affected arm and breast - constant cellulitis infections so then on antibiotics for two years. My breast cancer could not be detected until it had spread to my lymph nodes. The mammogram couldn't find it, as it was so small, but was picked up luckily by ultrasound. I live in London, have three kids- 23, 21, and nearly 19, and two dogs. I feel so blessed to have such a lovely support group around me, but it would be nice to have more friends who have been through the same thing and understand. I find the regular checkups so stressful, and I am terrified it will come back. I am going to join your Thursday night chats. Thank you for sharing your story, Kate. SBC loves you, and we are excited to have you in Thursday Night Thrivers ! SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Listen to our podcast Attend an Online Support Group Free, Weekly Events

By Brookshire McDonald, Patron Saint of Survivingbreastcancer.org I’m happy to be here To decorate a bra. What fun to join all y’all From afar! The Sip and Decorate Is a great Zeta event; So each of us is experiencing Time well spent. For those of us Breast cancer we had, This part of the journey Is not all bad. From us and those to be diagnosed In the years ahead, Zeta will be remembered For the love you have spread. Thank you tonight As I continue to survive; I’ve had two breast cancers And am happy I’m alive!

By Judy Pearson As a published biographer, research is a big part of my life. In 2011 (I can’t believe it’s been ten years!) when I heard the words, “ You have Triple Negative breast cancer ,” I donned my research hat and went to work. I assembled a medical “dream team,” based on personal contacts and online reviews. Surgical options, reconstructive avenues, and chemo drugs were all plugged into a spreadsheet. However, it never occurred to me that life after cancer would be different , and that survivorship was a “thing” to be researched as well. When a cascade of post-treatment issues rained down, I asked my oncologist what was happening. “We were busy saving your life,” she snapped. “Discussing survivorship wasn’t necessary.” And so my self-guided education began. To assuage the physical issues, diet and exercise topped everyone’s list. That was easy for me as those were already a part of my lifestyle. (Note to self: my oncologist had told me at the outset of treatment that my overall good health gave me a great advantage. Superior motivation to pass up the ice cream and move my booty every day!) Having been an A student in sleeping, the night sweats and insomnia were cramping my style. In a total reversal of character, I gave in to naps when my body asked for them. The “between the ears” stuff took a little more work. My cancer had come at the worst time. Does it ever come at a good time? I was a newlywed. My military son was deploying to Afghanistan. The questions rattling around in my head began with why: why me, why now? It seemed the most logical people to consult were those who had walked the same dusty road: sister (because men and women heal differently) survivors. That first step has truly changed my life. I could write thousands of words on the topic. Instead, I give you my platinum level of lessons learned. Find a Veteran Again, this is where my bona fide survivorship education began. While every survivor has unique challenges, there are many commonalities as well. Like any relationship, I looked for similarities, women of my age, temperament and lifestyle. One new friend led to another, and although there were a few toxic ones I jettisoned (no negativity and scary stories), for the most part these survivor veterans were great guides for this rookie. Biggest eye opener was the true definition of survivorship: it begins at diagnosis, as that’s when we begin surviving our disease. Join the Movement Thirty-five years ago, in 1986, 23 people came together for a weekend. They all had a connection to cancer and were all concerned about the completely unaddressed needs of cancer patients AFTER the acute phase of treatment had finished. By the end of the weekend, they had defined the word survivorship: it begins, they said at the moment of diagnosis – as that’s when one begins surviving cancer – and extends through the balance of life . No magical three or five year goal line. Their meeting was the founding of the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship, and it launched the survivorship movement. They fought discrimination (losing a job because of a diagnosis), the cancer myths (survivors were called “victims” and feared because some believed cancer was contagious), and created a safe environment for survivors to share their challenges and their victories (imagine a world without that!). It is up to us, today’s survivors, to make certain the movement continues and that every newly diagnosed survivor receives preparation for their treatment AND their survivorship. Treasure in the Wreckage You’ve walked on a beach, right? If you’re studying what’s washed up, it’s easy to lose track of how far you’ve gone, until you look back at your footprints. So it is with survivorship. The treatment part of the cancer journey – the wreckage that everyone focuses on – is really just a blip on our timeline. The long walk, the one with the most footprints, is survivorship. And if we’re open to considering it, treasures can be found in our wreckage. Mine are many, including meeting amazing survivors, dedicated medical angels (some of whom were also survivors), and people I would never have known if not for cancer. I started an organization focused on doing good in a post-cancer life. There’s healing in helping. That led me to another survivor, whose astounding story became my upcoming book, From Shadows to Life. Would I rather not have lost a breast, my hair and a year of my life? You bet. Do I see my life as richer – and myself as a more interesting and well-rounded human – because of my cancer? You bet. I can’t undo my diagnosis. But I am determined to make the best of all the footprints in the sand since cancer washed up on my beach. --- Judy Pearson is a published author and contributor to many publications. Her new book, From Shadows to Life: A Biography of the Cancer Survivorship Movement tells our shared history. Learn more at JudithLPearson.com . Thank you for sharing your story, Judy. SBC loves you! SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Our Podcast Our Weekly MeetUp Online Support Groups Free, Weekly Events

By Tracee I often tell people my son is my guardian angel but he just doesn’t know it yet. One day when he is older, I will sit down and share with him the story of how he helped save his mommy’s life. Discovering the Lump It was a normal August evening in our West Atlanta home. We had just returned from our daughter’s softball and son’s baseball practice. Our bellies were full, and we were all retiring upstairs for the night to prepare for school and work. I laid in my bed to get comfortable and my 7-year-old son laid his head gently on my chest just as he normally does when he gets ready to drift off into a deep sleep. Suddenly, he attempted to sit up abruptly using his elbow to push against my chest. When he pushed down, I felt pain in my right breast. This alerted me. The pain was so significant that it forced me to grab my breast and immediately self-examine. I looked over at my husband and said, “hmmmm that’s weird.” “I feel a pretty large lump in my breast.” He casually said, “Well baby, make an appointment and have the doctor check it out.” I could tell by his response that he was convinced it was nothing. ​However, my mind began to wonder because of my dad’s family history with breast cancer. I continued to rub my breast almost as if I was trying to tell myself it really wasn’t there. Somehow I wanted to believe that I was overreacting and it was all in my head. Eventually, I just told myself I was going to say a prayer and call my doctor in the morning to schedule an appointment. The next morning, I called my doctor’s office and told them I wanted to schedule an appointment for my primary care to check my breasts. I scheduled my appointment for the next week but my kids had a dentist appointment too, so I had to reschedule. When I rescheduled, I had to wait 2 more weeks to see my doctor. By this time, my nerves were getting bad and my mind was beginning to wonder. The Diagnosis It was almost as if something or someone was trying to interfere with my sense of urgency to get to my much needed appointment. “What about my kids? What about my husband? Will I die?” These were just a few of the heart wrenching questions that crossed my mind when my Breast Surgeon said to me on September 30, 2016, “You have Breast Cancer.” Her exact words were “ You have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma .” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing a day before breast cancer awareness month began. It was all just so ironic to me. In fact, I think I went into shock for a moment because I remember getting extremely weak and feeling like everything became a blur. I was at my office when my surgeon called me and honestly, I couldn’t feel my entire being anymore when I heard the news. It was like I no longer existed for a moment. It didn’t matter that she said to me, “ we caught it just in time. ” I remember breaking down in the hallway of my office. A young lady from the office across the hall along with some of my colleagues flooded into the hallway to console me. I couldn’t talk because I was crying so uncontrollably. It felt like my world was closing in on me. I felt like I was in a bubble and everyone was trying to reach for me but the bubble had me isolated from the world. It was a very strange feeling. After about 5 minutes, my colleagues were able to break through my mental bubble and console me, so I could walk back into the office to try and calm down. The first person I called was my mom. I remember saying, “mom, what’s going to happen to my kids?” She had no clue what I was talking about. She just kept saying: ”Calm down, Tracee. What’s going on? Calm down." I told her, “I have breast cancer.” “What did they say, Tracee? What did they say?” While I was on the phone with her, my colleagues called my husband to tell him that he needed to get home right away. They told him I had received some very bad news. Meanwhile, I was balling my eyes out sharing the news with my mom. Telling her my breast surgeon’s exact words. She asked me if someone could drive me home but I was so zoned out that I could hear her talking to me but couldn’t take direction. I was too distraught. I remember being able to tell her one of my colleagues offered to drive me home. I also remember the receptionist saying to me, “God has the final say about this, Tracee.” “We will not speak this upon you.” She spoke to me with such spiritual guidance. It began to soothe me and bring me to a more peaceful place. After I cried, cried, and cried some more, I was able to refocus so I could drive myself home. Next Steps and Treatment It seemed like the longest drive ever. So many things went through my head. I prayed that my husband would beat me home, so I could feel his warm touch and hear his soothing voice say, “Everything is going to be fine, baby cakes.” There is something about being held by your other half during such a difficult time and hearing the words, “we will get through this.” They are words that you long to hear every moment of every day so that you can cope, so that you can somewhat breathe easier. I often felt as though my chest was caving in a little each day because I knew I had a big fight ahead. It felt as if it took a little more effort for me to breathe. I knew it would be the fight of my life. My mind wandered continuously with many what ifs, but I had to try to maintain my sanity for my family. One of the first things I did after I heard the news was to write on my bathroom mirror with a tube of red lipstick, “Dear C, you will not win!” It was my daily reminder that I would fight this disease with every fiber of my being. I refused to let it win. I had seen this disease run rampant on my dad’s side of the family, and I was determined to put up a fight. Over the course of a couple of months, I went through several breast biopsies to confirm the breast cancer diagnosis, and I immediately decided to have a double mastectomy with reconstruction. Many questioned my decision not to have a lumpectomy but my mind was made up. I refused to live my life in fear with the thought of the breast cancer returning. Therefore, on November 16, 2016, my breast tissue was removed. The idea of having chemotherapy treatments was extremely scary to me. I knew my aunts had braved the storm a couple of times, but the horror stories associated with chemo, absolutely terrified me. Constantly being sick, losing my hair, and not being able to function for my family were thoughts that were ripping me apart. Both of my kids are young athletes, and I could not fathom missing their events because of chemo. I contemplated not even doing chemo. However, after discussions with some of my good medical friends, I moved forward with chemo. I chose a more aggressive treatment plan because of the type of tumor I had and my family history. I endured 20 weeks of “the red devil” and Taxol. I have to say without my faith and family, I don’t know how I would have made it through. I dreaded Thursdays because those were my scheduled treatment days. The irony of it all is that my kid’s athletic events actually kept me going throughout my chemo journey! The fight that I possessed to get up and continue going to their events, was unreal to me. I was extremely nauseated, experienced bone pain, and lightheadedness but pushed through. Fruit and lemon gum were also a saving grace for me during treatments. I took fruit bowls and lemon gum with me to every treatment. Both eliminated unwarranted tastes and kept me relaxed. Last but not least, my family was my rock throughout this journey. My loving husband, mom, dad, in-laws, aunts, cousins, sisters, and friends kept me uplifted in prayer, and I felt them fighting with me! I can’t say enough about them and their loving support. It brings me to tears just thinking of how much they all mean to me. My children don’t even realize the amount of strength they gave to me during this process. Breast Cancer Changed Me Forever One day, I hope to share it with them both. Although I’ve beat breast cancer, I struggle with the emotional side effects of the disease and the fear of it returning one day. Now, when I go to the doctor, my heart races, blood pressure rises, and my mind wonders. I’m convinced I will never be the same person again. Having breast cancer has changed me forever. However, I can say, I am a breast cancer survivor . I never thought I would ever have to say those words. I also never thought I would be writing a story about my own personal breast cancer journey, but here I am. My God had other plans for me. Although it was a painful journey, I am grateful for the experience, I am hopeful for a cure, and I am and will always be blessed beyond measures. Thank you for sharing your story, Tracee. SBC loves you! SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Positive Thinking for Healing Listen to our podcast Online Support Groups

By Ted Not me! Men don’t get breast cancer, right? Especially males like me who have always taken pride in taking decent care of oneself. Males like me don’t get breast cancer who have spent 24 years selling medical professionals in the pharmaceutical healthcare industry, covering accounts like Duke Medical Center, Walter Reed, etc. Males like me don’t get breast cancer who carefully invest and plan so well for retirement and now active as an Independent Medicare Healthcare Consultant. Darn! Guess what? It happens and yes, why not me? Men do get breast cancer, even me. Thank God for my wife who has been so supportive! I am currently being treated and here is my status. The Lump and The Diagnosis Well it started about July 2018. While taking a normal shower, I felt a small lump in my right breast area. Not overly concerned, I went to my primary care doctor and dermatologist. We all agreed that it was probably a cyst, but it needed to be checked out with a biopsy and mammogram. I must say, I was a little taken back as a male . Guess what? It was invasive lobular carcinoma, Grade 2 with ER and PR Positive, and HER2 Negative. Which means, get treated right away. Second Opinions and Onward So, after the initial shock, I made an appointment with my doctor again who suggested a good surgeon where he sent his female breast cancer patients. After the initial visit with my surgeon (who had just finished with another male patient with breast cancer), she consulted her favorite oncologist. Based on my pathology report, surgery was scheduled as the first option. A few days later, all my right breast tissue was removed with the tumor along with 13 lymph nodes under my right arm area. Darn! Cancer cells were discovered in 2 lymph nodes. Lucky me, right? Yes, because we need to get the treatment right the first time! I guess I was lucky because now I knew I needed Chemotherapy to make sure I survive long term and treat this “beast” aggressively from the start. So, I decided I wanted a second opinion (thank God for Medicare and a Medicare Supplement) and I met with a new oncologist that was recommended by my primary care doctor. Now we were off to the races (no, not so fast). I was scheduled for 4 Chemo treatments, 3 weeks apart for each treatment. With much prayers and support, I have completed Chemo which was not fun, but I am done. Not really, now the radiation begins. Again, thank God I have a strong medical team and friends for support. I met with my Radiologist, PHD and Board-Certified Radiation Oncologist. She has a most impressive resume and spent much time with me on all the next steps. I asked a “ton” of questions. She was so thorough and answered all my many questions with treatment diagrams. For example, I asked her what was more efficacious, chemo or radiation? She had a great “broken glass” analogy and said both are very important. She said the radiation treatment is like when you drop a glass on the floor, and it shatters. The shattered pieces are like cancer cells in your body. You just want to make sure you sweep up in the designated area several times and eliminate any potential cancer cells missed by the previous treatments as in surgery. Chemo is broader in coverage in killing cancer cells. Glass can shatter when broken and sometimes we notice that a piece may be located far away from the designated area. This can happen with cancer cells moving within the lymphatic system. Yes, let’s kill all the beast please! The Steps The first step in radiation was to postpone radiation. I was scheduled for physical therapy to maximize my right arm movement. This was due to the surgery where I had my right breast and lymph nodes removed. After this, I got my first cool pinpoint tattoo markers (grandkids will like that) with a scan and then I was scheduled for 28 radiation treatments. The radiation took place 5 days per week for 6 weeks. The radiation process was quick, thorough and painless other than a rash, some fatigue and a deep redness like a sunburn. We are still treating the redness/rash by a steroid cream. I will also be taking a drug Tamoxifen as a security blanket to make sure the beast does not return. Celebrations Touchdown (sorry but I am an ex-coach too)! I finished treatments on March 13th and celebrated with my “excellent” Radiology and Chemo Medical Teams. My wife and I then took a nice vacation to celebrate my status and to celebrate her birthday. I feel very positive about my future and I will continue to live my life to the fullest. Thank you for sharing your story, Ted. SBC loves you! SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Positive Thinking for Healing Our Weekly MeetUp Online Support Groups

By Ilene Kaminsky (Read part 1 here .) “The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.” ~Unknown Sitting with our feelings instead of disengaging or distracting ourselves is work. Feeling pain helps silence that internal critic that says, “I’m not doing enough.” Healing circles accept we are doing our best without any criticism. It’s a safe space and a container into which we can not only use as a place to understand that feeling is both important and a productive part of the psychosocial spoke in the wheel that holds us up as we pedal the unicycle that is a cancer diagnosis. There’s a special magic that transpires that’s difficult to put into words. On Our Own We’re mostly on our own with metastatic breast cancer especially. Even with the best of caregivers we’re on a very personal journey. On the unicycle we sit on a seat hoping not to fall over and tenuously balancing atop all of those spokes in the wheel - the axel is the diagnosis itself. Did it come as a shock? Did you have a BRCA gene in your family? Were you diagnosed de novo stage 4? Did you go through a primary cancer only to be diagnosed many years later with secondary or advanced metastatic breast cancer? All of these circumstances create stress, anger, shock, uncertainty, loss of friendship and family relationships, 50% of men divorce their wives. The list goes on as we lose financial and psychosocial stability. Yet who, besides our physicians and counselors can we really be honest with - without judgement, without trying to “fix” or “help,” but just listen deeply and with curiosity? What I’ve Learned As Michael Lerner helped me to understand in what I later realized was a healing circle of two - Michael is one of the founders of Healing Circles Global, along with Diana and Kelly Lindsay, helped me to understand when I was a year into my diagnosis: As a child I began writing poetry at five or six years old. My mother saved my first pencil written verse and gave it to me when I turned 40. Whenever trauma overwhelmed me, I’d pick up my pen and notebook. I’m now 56 years old and nearly seven years into my de novo (from the beginning) diagnosis of stage 4 metastatic breast cancer with mets to my bones, liver and peritoneum. It’s hormone receptor positive, for which thankfully research has developed many “lines” of treatment, but I’m on my sixth line, including six months on IV chemo. There’s only one more left after the one I’m on no longer works. But that’s the life someone with MBC leads,, at least for now. But I never let go of hope. Nor does the medical team, of which I am the ultimate decision maker. It’s a community of medical professionals who listen and who give me all my options. We decide together what’s best for me. Yet, after I was diagnosed on March 25. 2015 I had to find a new path to walk, mostly alone or so I thought. I reached out to find online communities I’d never knew existed. People diagnosed with MBC and other cancers. I began to write a blog nearly immediately after diagnosis to share my experiences with others who I thought could benefit from my own. The blogging community led me to social media, which I’d already used in my now retired professional career in high tech. From there I was led to patient advocacy via Living Beyond Breast Cancer, as a Buddy for Sharsheret, co-leading support groups, and doing many podcast interviews on therapeutic writing and it’s psychosocial benefits. It’s a busy life. So many communities opened their arms and all I had to do was reach out my own. There’s no turning back when you receive a terminal cancer diagnosis. I’ve lost so much that once made my life what it was. But instead of tossing it all away and focusing on the “end,” I found new beginnings where I’d started as a young girl. And my gift keeps giving back into that community in ways that have also paid off in my life. One needn’t be a poet or an essayist to write through their emotions and experiences. It could just mean keeping a journal that one writes down one thing they found surprised or made them happy that day. After a few weeks of writing for five minutes suddenly one realizes after reviewing their journal that despite a terminal cancer diagnosis we can still so many things in this life to be grateful for. Many of the poems here are dedicated to people who died from cancer or who are still living but inspired me to write because of the way in which they moved me to be grateful. The first one is dedicated to a man who spent his life helping people with a cancer diagnosis to heal themselves emotionally after the fateful words, “I’m sorry but…” He said to me after I woefully looked at him and said, “I don’t have a path anymore! When I look down I don’t see where to put my foot to move forward – I see nothing.” He replied, “Ilene, you’re a writer. Call yourself a writer because that’s what you are.” Such simple advice. For your information and for finding out more of the kinds of healing circles, including cancer, caregiving, death and dying, for men, for women, and many more, here’s a great link that describes healing circles far better than I https://healingcirclesglobal.org/calling-a-circle/what-is-a-healing-circle/ Poetry’s My Love Language And finally a poem that describes what I feel after I’ve concluded a healing circle - be it one I host for metastatic breast cancer patients or the ones I co-host on cancer and on writing for healing circles global - and the ones I attend on cancer, and have attended throughout Covid keeping me from becoming unnecessarily isolated using zoom. We gather and I’ve learnt so much from the cohosts of these circles. I close with a poem because that’s how I can best express myself, to you dear readers. And if you’ve come this far I thank you for reading. Please feel free to reach out to me via my blog at Https://cancerbus.com/ or via Twitter @ilenealizah. Blessings and deep peace to all. Live with Your Questions Live quietly with your questions. Sit still for a spell, just for now, put yesterday away with well-deserved tenderness. Nurture these moments, like newborns, feed and swaddle them. Rock them in the sweet rhythm of their slumbering breath. In this, the only moment Ever to become infinity’s reply to the direction of your green green path, a path with new ways to go — some trodden upon, some unknown. You think of “Nothing” much like that infant you carefully once loved. Why rush to grow? Time grows long regardless of your prodding for politeness or for prodigy. For they, in minutes of stillness will grow into our hours. The answers reveal themselves only when you’ve Forgotten to ask “why?” These questions over the course of life become like gems beaded onto a necklace, weighing you — Bowing you down In prayer or in repentance. Break its clasp And relinquish all the heaviness to the ground. Lift your head up and open your mouth. Catch the blessed rain on your tongue. What’s keeping you silent as your Lungs feed on the breath of freedom? Cut the stones weight from round Your neck. Breathe in time with your child who holds no answers. Not even the coolness of this second is hindered by what should be and will never be again. The answers you came here to gather when you were still innocent, in your open hands to grab secretly Like flowers from Neighboring garden whose labors were never yours to own. SurvivingBreastCancer.org Resources & Support: Breast Cancer Poetry Our Podcast Online Support Groups Free, Weekly Events

By Kristen Carter - In Loving Memory Dear Kristen After All That I Have Been Through, How do I find ME again? It’s completely normal to feel disoriented and detached from our old lives and original selves after anything as life-altering as a breast cancer diagnosis. It’s like we’ve been picked up in a personal tidal wave, tossed and tumbled, and washed up on a new shore, dripping and wondering where the heck we are. When this happened to me–after the initial diagnosis and urgent treatment, when I could see I was going to live a while longer–I turned to my most tried-and-true coaching tools to help ground me and get me back in touch with myself. One thing I like about the coaching tool I am going to share with you today is that it’s uncomplicated. Another is that it’s steeped in research into what is most important in life; in positive psychology, these are called The Pillars of Wellbeing. They are universal; as relevant to me in Boulder County, Colorado, as they were to South African township students I taught it to years ago. What I recommend is that you spend a few minutes thinking about what matters most to you in each category outlined below. This will connect you deeply to what matters to you now and what has always mattered to you–threads that will help weave together the “yous” from all stages of your life. The acronym for this tool is SIMPLE: S: SUCCESS Success gets to mean whatever you want it to: professional, financial, personal, social–any goals that will make you feel fulfilled. What do you want to accomplish? What dreams have you had since you were young? Since you got older? What ideas have been bubbling up inside that you’d love to bring into being? I: INTERESTS What do you love to do? What makes you lose track of time? How would you spend a paid holiday? What section of the bookstore do you gravitate toward? What did you love as a child? What project supplies are gathering dust somewhere in your home? M: MEANING How do you want to leave your mark on the world? In what ways are you involved with something larger than yourself, like a community or a movement? If you have children, what lessons do you most want to teach them? P: PEOPLE This is probably the most important category of all, as the quality of our relationships directly determines the quality of our lives. Who do you love? Who would you invite on to your life raft and who might you lovingly invite to take a seat on another raft with other people? Who fills your bucket? If you drew concentric circles, who would be in the innermost one? The next one? The next? L: LIVING How do you nurture your body, mind, and soul? What are your goals or dreams for your precious self? What brings you a feeling of physical well-being, or what do you imagine for yourself in the future? What fuels your imagination, your curiosity? What do you love learning? What spiritual beliefs feel right and affirming to you? E: EMOTIONS How do you like to feel? We might all say “happy,” but what does that mean for you? Safe, calm, and content? Zestful, energized, and vibrant? Fierce? Brene Brown’s new book, Atlas of the Heart , is a wonderful resource for ideas and vocabulary around emotions, and we have an “emotional thesaurus” you can download right here to help you think. That’s it! I’ve used this to plot big-picture goals (I call it my SIMPLE life plan) and from there, I can set daily and mid-term goals to help me stay connected to myself and do what’s most important to me. I hope it helps you do the same. For now, Kristen <3

By Kristen Carter Dear Kristen, I know I should do genetic testing so it can inform my family, especially my daughters, but I’m nervous to find out the results. Ignorance is bliss, right? -Anonymous Dear Anonymous, Is ignorance really bliss? I know that’s a popular sentiment – and I understand the statement in regards to genetic testing might feel safer than the test itself – but so is the statement, “knowledge is power.” I think in this case I’d want the power. Personally, I was scared and I let my doctor know. She was of immense comfort and reassurance, and she even snagged an extra nurse to hold my hand during the blood draw. And it wasn’t about fear of the extraction, but about the many emotions surrounding it. Facing our biggest fears is hard, no doubt about it. It requires us to willingly submit to being vulnerable, and none of us enjoy that feeling. But whether you know your genetic status or not doesn’t change the FACT of it: It’s either positive or negative. And if negative, you will know, and if positive, you will also know and then know what steps to take. However, in certain cases, it is possible that a genetics test could come back as a " variant of unknown significance ". This is a bit of a gray area meaning that there is not enough data to say for sure if it's positive or negative. As such, VUS results are treated as negative until proven otherwise. You and your daughters deserve to know, and to know in time to take actions based on the results. Still feeling nervous but want to face the fear? Talking to your doctor about your fears and “what ifs” has always helped my heart. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, and hey, why not ask another nurse to hold your hand while your blood is being drawn? Support is at your fingertips! So, I am empowering you to be brave! Good luck, and come back and tell us how the testing went and what you decided to do as a result. We really do care, and so many of us have been in your shoes. Our hearts (and power) are with you, anonymous. xo Kristen For additional support and resources, check out our recent articles: Genetic Testing for a Predisposition Toward Breast Cancer Genetic Testing for Cancer: What You Need to Know Germline ATM Mutation Living With the BRCA Gene

By Nate Kolmodin My name is Nate Kolmodin. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2004. After recently learning about her journey through breast. cancer, I find it important to share my mother's story, as well as mine. Today, I will discuss how to be helpful when a loved one is sick. If you are interested in my other articles, check out Exercise is Good For Everyone . Feeling helpless is normal, but you are not alone. Cancer is incredibly daunting, and when dealing with it, it’s important to find people in your life who are willing to sacrifice a lot of time, energy, and emotions just to make sure you’re comfortable. You need assistance, and there are always friends, social groups, and loved ones who will do anything for you at the drop of a hat. Don’t be afraid to reach out. More often than not, people are more than happy to help someone in need, especially those they love. Don’t be afraid to accept help. Cancer is hard enough, but asking for the help you need can be just as painful. Don’t feel obligated to do things. If you feel those around you aren’t being considerate of your needs, then consider distancing yourself. Don’t feel bad about becoming distant from those who aren’t as thoughtful or oblivious to your condition; you need people who will listen to you . It’s the people who offered unsolicited help who matter the most. Living through traumatic events like this, you discover the friends who matter the most. Those who become distant may be scared of getting hurt by the potential loss of someone close to them and may not offer help. This does not mean they don't want to help you, you just have to tell them how to help you. When my mother was receiving treatment she had a whole cast of characters come together to help her. It was hard for her to speak up and tell anyone what she was feeling and what would make her feel better. Luckily, my mother had, and has, a champion of a husband to help her along the way. My father was at every single one of her doctor’s appointments for 2 years and had to juggle work and two newborn children at the time (my sister and I). We would constantly have Synagogue members, cancer support groups, neighbors, and friends making meals for our family because of how busy my parents were. Finding time to cook a meal for 4 people was hard for my dad. Even the simplest meals were highly appreciated. Unsolicited kindness can change someone’s day. Even the mailman offered to help by walking the mail up to our door (we have a mountainous driveway). In time, when anybody asked if my mom needed anything, she learned to speak up and let them know: “If you could make us dinner one night this week, that would really help us out.” And don’t be afraid to be specific either. For example, if you have a food allergy, or if you kids are vegetarian, let the person know in advance! It’s really important to listen to the patient, to successfully care for them. You have to work for them, listen to what they need, and do the best you can to help. P.S. Don’t wait. Show thanks to those who do the most.

By Kristen Carter Dear Kristen, I'm really struggling with intense sadness and loss since I had to say goodbye to my emotional support dog, Gus. He was 13 years old and so much a part of me, even to the point that he needed to be with me in whatever room of the house I was in. Gus was struggling with complex medical problems and I was in fear of his imminent suffering. He was a handsome Scottish Terrier and has been with me through my entire journey with breast cancer. He provided comfort when he knew I needed it and now I feel completely lost without him. I've been experiencing trouble concentrating and sleeping and am overcome with grief and guilt over my decision to have him euthanized. What can I do to get through this painful time and to reach the point where I can think about all the love and happy memories that we shared? Dear Reader, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. Our relationships with our animal companions can be so rich and fulfilling that many people suffer as much or more when pets die as when they lose a human friend or family member. It’s no wonder – our love for and from animals can be among the most unconditional, nonjudgmental, and relatively simple relationships of our lives. In your case, this is compounded by the fact that Gus was there for you during an intense and traumatic phase of your life. Take whatever time you need to grieve There are no shortcuts when it comes to grieving. Allowing yourself to feel all the hard phases of the process – typically denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance – may hurt while they’re happening but will ultimately allow you to complete this healing cycle. You mention feeling guilty as well. You sound like a very loving, sensitive person and I would wager that you thought through all the possibilities for Gus before deciding on euthanasia. It was probably the kindest thing you could have done under the circumstances. So give yourself permission to let go of the guilt, even if you have to do it little by little. Coping with other people’s reactions Not everyone understands how deeply the loss of a pet can affect us. Some people may try to minimize Gus’s loss, saying things like, “He was only a dog,” or “Just adopt another one.” This might even be their misguided attempt to make you feel better. Others may say nothing, either because they don’t understand how you feel, are trying to stay in denial about the prospect of losing their own animal, or trying not to remember the death of a previous one. Try not to let these awkward encounters upset you, if possible. Simply move on or respond with something like, “Thanks for your advice, but I need to handle this my own way.” Find people who DO understand There are people who will know what you’re going through and who can offer their support plus ideas for healing. You may want to explore the internet, including Max’s Healing Hearts Community on Facebook and the Rainbow Bridge Pet Loss grief support center. Honor his memory Create a memorial you can visit as often as you want to. This can be a photo on a bookshelf, a place where he is buried or you keep his ashes, or something as simple as a candle you light whenever you miss him. Talk to him, tell him you love him, thank him for his love – anything that makes you feel good or connected. Take your time Time will help ease the intensity of your grief, and (again) you can’t rush this. You may feel ready for another pet someday, but in the meantime, be gentle with yourself. Something you might want to do before you take the plunge into ownership would be volunteering at an animal shelter; that would give you access to the kind of love only animals can give, without a full commitment. In the meantime, give yourself compassion and know that your capacity to love so deeply is an amazing strength. All the best for your healing journey, Kristen xo

By Abigail Johnston When I was diagnosed with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC) in 2017 at 38 years young, my legacy was literally the last thing on my mind. Every bit of energy and focus and brain cell were focused on staying alive, on figuring out the diagnosis and learning everything I could about breast cancer. Now, five (5) years later, I’ve crossed over into semi-unicorn territory and finally got a scan that showed the cancer in my body is no longer active a/k/a No Evidence of Active Disease (NEAD). In this season of less stress attached to medication and worry about progression, I’ve had the opportunity and space to think more about my legacy. And when my father in law died recently and we spent a long time talking about him and his legacy, it got me thinking even more about mine. What will be my legacy? What will live on after I’m no longer in this physical body? When Lisa Laudico died recently (she so-founded the @OurMBCLife podcast, among other advocacy efforts), I started thinking more about my legacy outside my own family and what happens within the MBC Community. For those of us immersed in Advocacy, what will others remember about us when we’re gone? How can we in the Community remember and honor those who have died? So, what is a legacy in the context of MBC? In researching the definition, I came across many different perspectives, but the one I’ve settled on for myself is this: Legacy is simply what we leave behind when our lives are over. What we leave behind can be 1) people (family and friends); 2) words/writing; 3) items (property and other things); 4) programs (like SBC); 5) Advocacy efforts that bear fruit later; and so much more. What each person leaves behind as a legacy is as individual as we each are people. One piece of my legacy is the germline mutation (ATM) that I may or may not have passed on to my boys, which isn’t something that isn’t a positive to me, but I am thankful that many of my family members have been able to discover whether they too carry the mutation and to take action, as necessary. Here’s what I think we each can do when it comes to legacy: 1. Think about our individual legacies and plan for it. This could mean writing down family traditions or stories; this could be pre-planning for funeral services or pre-paying for a burial plot; this could be writing letters or cards for special days we won’t be present for; this could be creating a box with items that may help our loved ones recall better days; this could be taking professional pictures regularly so that there is a visual record of us with our families; this could be recording a legacy video; this could be anything that makes sense to you. and 2. Honor and celebrate the legacies of others. I think we do a pretty good job of this in the MBC Community as we honor the lives of those who have died, but I think we can think of ways to do this even better. My dear friends at GRASP ( www.GRASPCancer.org ) do an amazing job of honoring research advocates during each session — pictures and stories of research advocates are shared as we prepare to review the science that lives on through their efforts I also wanted to highlight two things that each of us can do towards our legacies this month because I know it’s hard to know where to start sometimes. First, for you writers, one of our partners, April Stearns over at Wildfire ( www.WildfireCommunity.org ), is offering an amazing opportunity to write about legacy. There will be a special issue with the theme, Legacy Stories. The categories are: 1) stories and people from the past; 2) The Present moment; the way we live today; and 3) The Future. For the submissions, you would select one of these categories to write about and send your submission to: editor@wildfirecommunity.org. The deadline is Thursday, August 25, 2022. Second, for anyone living with MBC, we have our inaugural quarterly MBC workshop focused entirely on legacy on August 27, 2022 from 1-3 p.m. Eastern. This workshop is designed and hosted by the MBC Leadership team and is focused on writings, legal planning, and legacy videos. We hope that this will give everyone a starting point and a safe place to talk about plans you might already have in place. All of the attendees will receive a handout (currently more than 20 pages!) of information we’ve gathered, checklists and resources after the workshop. Learn more and sign up on our Events page ! And watch for the next workshop, focused on mindfulness, that we will have during the often difficult month of October. If you have a suggestion for a future MBC workshop, please don’t hesitate to let us know! I’d like to leave you with this thought — a legacy doesn’t have to be big and splashy like getting your name on a building or $$ left to those we leave behind. Our legacies are what is left once we leave this earth and I suspect our greatest legacy will be the people we’ve touched in some way. As I heard the stories about my father in law at the recent service honoring his life, it was the things he did every day and were just part of who he was, that people most remembered and celebrated. So, let’s be intentional and carefully consider what we will leave behind as we go about this living while dying experience with MBC. Other Resources: MBC Grieving Together Facebook Group ( https://www.facebook.com/groups/597683717601254 ) GRASP; Guiding Researchers and Advocates to Scientific Partnerships ( www.graspcancer.org ) Wildfire ( wildfirecomunity.org ). ProjectLifeMBC.org (Legal Clinics each month and ongoing conversations on legacy) Five Wishes ( https://store.fivewishes.org/ShopLocal/en/p/FW-MASTER-000/five-wishes-paper )